Taking Chances
by CSM
Summary: AU Future Fic She's a creature of habit, schedules, calenders, order, that's how she runs her life. Some rude guy in a coffee house is not going to suddenly change that. She's not going to change for anyone.
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** Taking Chances

**Author:** CSM

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Glee

**Summary: **AU Future Fic She's a creature of habit, schedules, calenders, order, that's how she runs her life. Some rude guy in a coffee house is not going to mess with that. She's not going to change for anyone.

**AN: **So some of you may have read this on tumblr, I changed up somethings and added in an extra scene I decided to turn this fic into a multichapter fic.

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><p><strong>Taking Chances<strong>

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><p>She gets out of class early on Tuesdays, and as she walks outside, the crisp November air hits her face. The cold autumn breeze causing her to shiver, so much so that she has to pull her coat tighter against her body, and she has to pull her pink scarf out of her pocket immediately wrapping it around her neck securely. Her boots smash the brown dried leaves as she quickly makes her way across the street to the main mall, her head bent to fight off the chilly breeze.<p>

She walks straight to the local coffee house, _Cafe Latte_, eyeing the large armchair in the back, as she pulls off her coat and scarf, making a mental note where she's going to be sitting today. She bypasses the long line, to the side of the counter, knocking it lightly. She doesn't even bother to look up as she digs through her messenger bag for her book as she speaks.

"Annie, I'm going to be in the back."

"Ma'am. I'm sorry but you're going to have to join the line." A new voice calls out.

She looks up startled, her book momentarily forgotten and frowns when she doesn't see Annie, the usual barista but instead sees a tall husky guy, with messy brown hair, the red _Cafe Latte_ apron tied around the torso as he looks at her expectantly.

"Where's Annie?" She asks frankly, she needs her afternoon cappuccino, and Annie is the _only_ one who knows how to make it right. She's very particular about her beverages. "She usually makes my order for me."

"Annie took the morning shift." The man answers, his eyes narrowing probably not caring for her tone, well she's annoyed too, "Now can you please join the line? These people were waiting her long before you came in."

"But Annie makes my cappuccino and brings it for me." She says stubbornly, ignoring the disgruntled comments from the other customers in the line.

"I'll be happy to make you, _your_ cappuccino. _If_ you join the line." The man remarks shortly.

"How long have you been working here?" She fires back, "I've been coming to this coffee house for almost two years and I've _never_ seen you. Are you qualified for this job?"

To her utter disbelief the man just grins, no he _smirks_ at her. She was _not_ joking, no job, no matter how insignificant as making coffee should be done unless someone has the skills for the job. She _is_ coming to a coffee house for a reason.

"I'm wearing the apron aren't I?" He gestures sarcastically at the red apron around his waist. She knows he's mocking her but she ignores the jab.

"If I were to put on a stethoscope around my neck would that make me a doctor? _No_." She snipes back, just as sarcastically.

"Well, you're _not_ wearing a pointy black hat or carrying a broomstick, and yet I assume that you're a _witch_. Does that count?"

"That was uncalled for!" She snaps angrily.

"Whatever you say lady, either you join the line or you don't get your coffee. Simple as that." He says shaking his head and turning back to the customers behind and simply ignoring her.

She looks at him appalled at his audacity, she's a paying customer, and she would not be treated in this manner, and she plans to tell him them, "Excuse me. _Sir_."

She continues to rant, hitting the palm of her hand against the cold tiled counter, but everything she says seems to go on deaf ears.

After attending to a few more customers, he _finally_ comes across to her counter, looking at her in mock surprise, "Oh you're still here."

"_Yes_! And I do not appreciate being ignored _sir_. Whatever happened to the customer is always right?"

He looks at her through narrowed eyes for a moment, but instead of answering he pulls one of the signs from on display and placing it in front of her

_Management reserves the right to refuse service._

"Now that is just rude!" She exclaims slamming her hand down on the counter, "I'd like to speak to your manager! I will not be treated this way."

The man turns back to look at her and shakes his head, he pulls off the apron to reveal a simple shirt and tie and a little button labelled 'Manager' on his breast pocket. Her face drops in surprise and the man smirks at her.

"Finn Hudson. Manager. " He says looking at her expectantly, and he's not even hiding his grin. "Is there a problem, _ma'am_?"

"You have _terrible_ people skills." She snaps, folding her arms across her chest, getting more angry at the moment as his grin widens in amusement.

"And _you_ can't follow simple instructions." He counters back, "And yet _I'm_ the one with the coffee and you're _not_."

"You are _rude_, Mr. Hudson!" She growls, tossing the sign across the counter in anger and stomping out of the coffee house, not believing the _audacity_ of that man. She'll just get her coffee elsewhere.

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><p>The next day she buys a Starbucks cappuccino ToGo and a muffin in the shop at school and then heads to the park opposite the mall. It's a relatively warm autumn day so she figures she's curl up under a tree with her book and coffee. She's so engrossed in the happenings of Katniss and Peeta, she does not see the <em>large<em> pure white Labradoodle until he's got his nose buried in her brown paper bag already devouring her muffin.

"_Oh!_" She squeals, in surprise dropping her book _and_ coffee all over her, the dog looks up at her, his tail wagging excitedly as he starts sniffling her dress licking the coffee,

"Calm down boy!" She says, patting the dog's head, on realizing he's more playful than harmful.

The dog looks up at her and starts nuzzling her hand excitedly, his tail wagging in excitement, she giggles in amusement rubbing his head again, "Aren't you cute? Now where's you owner?"

She giggles pulling back when the dog tries to lick her face, "Oh no. I don't know what toilet that face has been in."

She gets a bark in return and laughs, she looks around the area not seeing anyone looking for the dog, she tries to grab the dog by the collar to read his tag, but ends up getting her entire arm licked. She wrinkles her nose slightly when she hears a voice and the dog perks up.

"Elphie!"

"Is that your name?" She asks sweetly, rubbing the dogs head again, and looking to her left to see a tall man running to them.

"Elphie... what are you doing?" The man asks breathlessly, bending over as he tries to catch his breath, She can only see the top of his messy hair, slick with sweat along with this back of his tank, the muscles in his back rippling from his rapid breathing, "I'm...so...sorry."

"It's okay." She says warmly, rubbings Elphie's back smiling brightly at the dog, who barks excitedly, trying to lick her face yet again "I think she just wanted some of my muffin."

"Yes. She does have a sweet tooth." Elphie's own remarks good-naturally, "My brother likes to spoil her"

"That's okay, she's..." But as she looks up, she stops midsentence, her eyes widen as she finally gets a proper look at Elphie's owner and she quickly scrabbles to her feet, pointing and accusatory finger at the man."_You_."

It's the _rude_ manager from the coffee shop, he rolls his eyes, wiping the sweat gathering on his forehead, and she tries to ignore the way his pectoral muscles pull in his sweat soaked tank top, or his bicep curls at his movement.

"_Me_." He mocks, rolling his eyes, and looks at her ruined dress and turned over coffee mug. "I see you found another way to get coffee."

"No thanks to you. Now _your_ dog ruined this one." She snaps back, she's not angry at the dog, she _can't_ be mad at animals, it's not in her nature, its _owner_ though is another story, "Don't you own a _leash_?"

"Does your boyfriend?" He counters back.

She narrows her eyes at him, his comment hitting a little too close to home, after the messy break up she _just_ got out of fresh in her mind. She pointedly ignores him and starts gathering her stuff, frowning at her ruined book.

"Look I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that." The man, _Finn_ says apologetically, "I'll buy you back your book."

"I don't need your _pity_. Just because you make an assumption about me, when you don't even _know_ me." She snaps angrily, as she shoves her soiled book into her bag.

"Yea, its sucks when people do that right? Take one look at you and suddenly they think they know everything about you."

She freezes at his words, her cup clenched between her fingers, he's right, she took one look at him and assumed he knew nothing about his job, pretty much like what he just did. She sighs and looks up at him, "I'm sorry. I should have never assumed you couldn't do your job."

"I'm sorry I snapped at you yesterday." He says sincerely as he grabs Elphie who had been eating the last bit of her muffin, and hooking the leash back on the dog's collar, "My stepdad owns the coffee shop and I got stuck working that shift and I had to miss band practice. Annie told me about you, and I guess your attitude just rubbed me the wrong way, add that to my already foul mood. I took out my anger on you and I shouldn't have."

"I should have just gotten into the line though." She admits sheepishly, she's been on edge all week, but it was still doesn't excuse her behaviour.

"Probably." He says teasingly, and she can see his dimples as he smiles.

"I'm sorry for as well." She says softly, she pats Elphies head as she grabs her handbag. "I should go."

"Wait." He calls out, grabbing her arm, despite the fact that she's yet to leave, "Let me buy back your book _and_ coffee."

She can't help but smile, despite the fact that she knows she should _not_ accept his offer on the sole fact that she only broke up with her ex _last_ week. But then she takes one look at his pleading expression, his dimples ever prominent and then at _Elphie_ who's looking at her eagerly, it's like the dog is in on it too. She can feel resolve breaking already. She told herself she needed to start living, one date won't hurt.

"You don't even know my name." She points out with a smile, she may have forgiven him for his rudeness, but he's going to have to work for it, those dimples can't be the only reason she says yes (although she knows they already are)

"Actually, _Rachel_ I'm going to say I'm one step ahead of you." He says with knowing smirk, "I _told_ you. Annie told me about the regulars."

She looks at him thoughtfully for a moment, then at the dog who barks excitedly and she shakes her head, "Do you use her to pick up girls or something?"

"Only the cute ones." He flirts, sending her a wink, and as if on cue Elphie barks again.

"Oh you're good." Rachel giggles in response shaking her head in disbelief, "Okay fine _one_ coffee, and I want my book."

Finn grins in triumphant, pulling out a doggie treat from his pocket and giving it to Elphie, "Good dog."

Rachel gasps, "You played me!"

Finn laughs grinning sheepishly, his dimples yet again making Rachel's heart skip a beat, "No, actually I saw you sitting across here and I wanted to apologize about yesterday, and I know _everyone_ loves Elphie. So I sent her to soften you up. I'm sorry about your dress by the way. I'll pay for that too."

"You better. I can't believe you would use your dog like that." She says in mock seriousness, but when she sees Finn's frown she giggles, "I'm kidding."

When Finn visibly relaxes she smiles at him warmly, patting Elphie one last time, "I'll see you tomorrow at the coffee house Mr. Hudson. Three o'clock. Don't be late."

She walks off with a nervous smile on her lips, ignoring his calls, she has to keep him on his toes. He can't expect to get everything just by flashing those dimples of his. This was her chance to turn a new leaf. Even if it's with the random rude coffee guy.

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><p>He is <em>late<em>.

She looks at her watch one last time, and sure enough is 3: 20 pm. She waited _much_ longer than she would _ever_ allow, but she figured she owed him, since she _was_ completely rude to him two days ago. But yet here she is waiting on him.

She should have trusted her instinct from the very beginning, it's too soon for her to be going out with _anyone_ especially not the random _coffee house_ boy.

This is not like her at all.

Rachel Berry doesn't agree to go out with random guys, especially ones she knows _nothing_ about, she needs to familiar with them, know a little bit about her their family, friends what they do. This _boy_ is in a _band_ for crying out loud. His _dimples_ can't be the reason she went on a limb and agreed to go out with him.

She's 23 years old and in her last year of premed, she can't be going on dates with some frat boy in a _band_. Her last boyfriend, her boyfriend of 5 _years_ is a third year medical student, he's the son of one her father's doctor friends.

Sam Evans had fit into her plans perfectly, they'd get engaged before she started medical school, married at 28, while Sam would already have his practice up and running, it would be easy for her to just fall in and work with him. They'd start a family at 31 or 32, her future was set.

That is until last week.

Last week everything came crashing down, her well thought out plans were all destroyed and now she's left, trying to pick up the pieces. She's trying to sort herself out. She thought accepting the date from Finn would be a small step towards going about changing things.

But yet here she is waiting now _30_ minutes for some guy she just met. It's pretty clear to her that this change she was hoping to find was not _this_. She can't expect her whole life to just change before she agreed to one lousy date.

Finn Hudson was not suddenly going to be able to fix the mess her life had become. He wasn't her easy out. Agreeing to _one_ date couldn't possibly change her life. No matter how much she wish it were so simple.

She takes one final look at her watch and then sighs, hating herself for once again over estimating things and over _planning_ things yet again. She sighs disappointedly, more at herself than anything, picks up her messenger bag and coffee. She slips her headphones in her ears and slowly walks out of the coffee house.

She never did hear Finn calling after her retreating figure, a new book in his hand.

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><p><em>What do you guys think? Worth continuing?<em>

_Reviews are love :)_


	2. Chapter 2

**__**_Um WOW, the response for this fic is freaking insane! Never in a million years was I expecting THIS level of enthusiasm. Thank you all so much for reviewin alerting and putting this on your favourites. I hope this chapter doesn't disappoint. _

_Now that I'm finished my other fic I'm hoping to focus solely on this fic and try to have updates regular from now on :)_

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><p>"So that's it?" Santana, her roommate, asks incredulously.<p>

Santana is standing in their kitchen, dressed in sweats and a tank, her long brown hair is piled messily on top of her head, as she nurses a cup of coffee (when a prelaw and premed student live under one roof, coffee is the _only_ option in the small apartment). Santana raises one perfectly sculpted eyebrow, her eyes boring into Rachel, Rachel shifts uncomfortably under the other girl's scrutiny.

Rachel knew she should have _never_ told Santana about her date. She shrugs as she grabs an apple from the centre counter, sliding onto one of the bar stools, "I waited for 30 minutes. He didn't show, end of story. What's there to know?"

"Did you at least _call_ him?" Santana counters.

"I don't have his number, and before you ask, no, I was not going to leave a message at the coffee house either. Just drop it San, it was one stupid date, not that it mattered anyway."

"Who _are_ you?" Santana asks incredulously, walking up to Rachel and putting the back of her hand against Rachel's forehead, which Rachel immediately brushes away, "Just yesterday you were_ ecstatic_ about this date. Claiming it was a sign of fate, that you would meet a guy so randomly, who loves _dogs_ and it was time for you to grab life by the testicles."

"I would _never_ say such a crass thing!" Rachel splutters in offense as Santana laughs wholeheartedly grabbing Rachel's apple and taking a bite from it, "Hey! _Unsanitary_!"

"Stop avoiding munckin. We both agreed you need to get back out there, forget that Ken doll ex of yours and his two timing slut bag..."

"_Santana!_ She was our best friend!" Rachel says, but even she can't hide the anger and betrayal she felt when she found out.

"She's a whore. I would _never_ go after your man. I may be a bitch but I'm not a slut."

"Must you use that kind of language?" Rachel asks exasperated going to grab _another_ apple, but rolls her eyes when Santana slaps her half eaten apple back in Rachel's hand, "I _really_ don't want to talk about Sam or _her_ right now. I just want to forget them _and_ my nonexistent date and go back to studying biochemistry, something I can actually rely on that will _never_ change."

"Do you not hear how pathetic that sounds?" Santana asks exasperated, going to grab Rachel's apple again, but Rachel takes a bite of it before the other girl can get it, "Your books can't keep you warm at night Rachel."

"_San_, can you just drop it? It's only been a week. I'm not ready for a commitment or anything like that, just yet." Rachel says as she finally relents and lets Santana have the last of her apple before she gets up and heads to her room.

"Who's talking commitment? _You_ were the one that met that coffee guy and was suddenly planning your _wedding_ or something. That's always been your problem Rae you go from zero to 100 in the blink of an eye and you never just enjoy the middle. Not everything you do needs to have a clear cut ending, you can't predict these things. That's not the way life works."

"I _know_ that Santana." Rachel snaps and she plops down on the chair by her desk and spins it around to face her roommate, "I have half an _empty_ chest of drawers to prove it. I have five _years_ worth of a relationship down the drain, to prove that life does _not_ work out the way I expect it to be. I am _very_ well aware of that Santana. What I _don't_ need is you telling me this time and time again!"

She spins back around, growling out in anger when she accidentally hits her medical dictionary off the table and it falls with a resounding thud on the floor. She sighs going to pick it up when Santana beats her to it, looking at her slightly apologetic, well at least as apologetic as the girl can muster, the fact that she's even still standing there after Rachel just blew up at her shows a lot about their friendship.

"Look Rae, I know you're hurting and I'm sorry, but I'm only trying to help you. I don't want that asshole to be the reason you go back into your hermit mode and shut out the rest of the world. He checked out of your relationship almost three years ago, and I know that you know that just as much as I do. You guys aren't teenager, people change Rae. I know you had this plan, that Sam was your one true love, and as much as I hate the guy I'm sorry that it didn't work out like you expected. Not everyone is as lucky as your dads to meet their soulmate at 16. I know you're not ready to date yet which is normal, but I don't want you to right off men completely. Sam is an asshole for not just ending things with you like an adult, rather than jump in bed with the first available slut who would open up her legs for him."

"Santana!" Rachel gasps, but she can't help but laugh cause of Santana's way with words, even if she disproves of it, not like that will ever stop Santana anyway, if anything Rachel's displeasure at Santana vulgar words probably is what encourages the Latina even more.

Santana rolls her eyes falling back onto Rachel's bed, "So the coffee house guy stood you up. He's a douche, don't take that as a sign to crawl back into this cave you have in here, but take it as you're still ready to get out there."

Rachel opens her mouth to protest, but Santana sits up and points a well manicured finger at her, "Not _now_ but sometime."

"Fine. I promise I'll get back out there at _some_ point. Can I go back to my work now?" Rachel asks in exasperation, she know Santana means well and she loves her she does, but Santana also doesn't take no for an answer.

So sometimes its best she just nods along with her, Santana doesn't need to know that Rachel has _no_ plans on getting back into the game or any such thing. Rachel has a medical degree to work towards, that's _all _she will be focusing on.

"Great! I'm taking that sexy ass of yours out tomorrow night, so make sure and schedule whatever work you need to study before hand." Santana says easily as she stands up and walks out o f the room not even waiting for Rachel's response.

"What? _No! _Santana, that is not what I said!" Rachel shouts after her. She growls in frustration, now wondering how long she'll have to stay in the library tomorrow, in order to avoid Santana.

Her friend is too damn relentless for her own good.

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><p>She's got her head bent, her headphones in her ears silently singing a song to herself as she tries and navigates her way through the crowed hallway on campus, she's so completely consumed by the sounds of Adele blasting through her speaks, (the singer's latest album speaks volumes to Rachel on such and emotional level) she never hears when someone calls out to her until she feels a hand on her shoulder, pulling her out of her thoughts.<p>

She looks up startled, her eyes wide, but on seeing _Finn_ standing in front of her, all cloaked up with a scarf around his neck and a beanie covering his messy brown hair looking at her apologetically. She scowls in annoyance and moves takes a step to the side to walk past him, but he quickly moves with her, blocking her way.

"I'm sorry. I know I don't deserve your forgiveness, and I know you don't care that band practice went over late, and I did not have the decency to call the coffeehouse and _tell_ you I'd be late..."

He trails off and Rachel can tell he's hoping his roundabout way of apologizing will soften her up, but she's too upset to care so looks at coldly, "Is that it? I'm running late."

That's a lie, she's finished for the day and she's now heading to library to study _and_ avoid Santana. She watches as he takes off his beanie and runs his fingers through his already messy hair and she _hates_ the fact that she still finds him _that_ attractive.

"I guess I deserved that, just wait though. I have something for you." He says as he quickly slips his bag off his shoulder and starts digging through it.

"You go to school here?" She can't help but ask, she' never seen him on campus before, hell she never has seen him in the coffeehouse and his stepdad _owns_ it.

"No." Finn scoffs, his head still buried in his bag, and to her great surprise he pulls out not one but _three_ brand new paperback books, in a clear bag with the logo of the bookstore he bought it in. She catches a glimpse of the title and sure enough she see 'The Hunger Games' written across the top of the first one.

"Finn, Elphie only ruined _one_ book." Rachel says in shock, as he takes her hand and hooks the bag around her fingers, because she refused to take it.

"Yea I know, but I saw the name of your book when we were at the park, so I bought it, but then when I got there like 30 minutes late and you weren't there. I went back and bought the rest for you, it's part of my apology for standing you up _and_ well the woman at the store told me the book you had was the first part of the trilogy so I assumed you probably didn't have the other two and would want it."

She watches in slight amusement as his cheeks turn red, and he's clearly embarrassed by his long winded speech, "That was really sweet of you Finn. Thank You."

They stand there in the middle of the of the hallway for a few awkward moments, and she's just about to politely tell him she has to go home, now with the books he gave her, she _has_ to head home before she goes to the library.

"You like music right?" He asks unnecessarily as he shoves a bright green flyer onto her folder, "My band is playing at the local club, you should come."

With that said he flashes her a smile, with those damn dimples of his and then walks in the opposite direction, pulling out more flyers from his bag and handing them out to people.

Rachel shakes her head at his almost aloof attitude before she looks down at the bright coloured paper, slowly making her way out of the building, and back to her apartment.

Club Hypnotic present '_The Hurricanes.'_

Rachel rolls her eyes not only the cliché name of the club but also the cheesy name of Finn's band, they probably play heavy metal or something equally unappealing to her. She takes the flyer and sticks it in her folder, forgetting about Finn and his band, and most definitely the three books swinging from her left hand.

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><p>"I thought for sure I would have had to take you out tonight kicking and screaming," Santana calls out teasingly as she enters Rachel's room.<p>

Rachel looks up away from her book and groans when she sees Santana waving the flyer at her a grin across her friends face just as she plops onto the bed next to Rachel. She knew she should have thrown that thing away before she came back to the apartment.

"So not only did you _actually_ think about where we're going tonight, but you also got some ideas for places too? I'm so proud right now." Santana says with a grin, taking one of Rachel's carrot's sticks from out of her bowl.

"Don't you have your own food?" Rachel asks exasperated, but passes the ranch dip to the other girl anyway, "And don't get excited, just yet. That's for Finn's band, he gave it to me today when I saw him. I forgot to throw it out."

"He's in a _band_." Santana asks incredulously, reading over the flyer one more time, "How old is this kid? Please tell me he's at least legal."

"Santana! He's our age, I think." Rachel says biting her lip in thought, the possibility of Finn being so young never crossing her mind before, "Then again he doesn't go to the university and is currently in a band, so who knows."

"Wow Rae, you sure know how to pick 'em." Santana teases, as she takes another carrot stick and starts munching on it thoughtfully as she reads the flyer. "Although, _Hypnotic_ does sound like a good idea. They usually have Friday nights reserved for live bands, and the crowd isn't _as_ crazy as normal, so it would _definitely _be more your thing and...'

"No, no, _no_!" Rachel protests swiping the flyer out of Santana' s hand and crumbling it into a ball before she throws it in her waste paper bin a few feet away from the bed, "I'm not going to that club. He'll get the wrong idea or something and..."

"Wow, calm down munchkin, whoever said anything about you going to see your frat boy? I told you I was taking you out. He's old news, yesterdays trash."

"You're not even going to ask me about what happened when I saw him are you?"Rachel asks dryly, slapping Santana's hand away from her bowl of carrot sticks.

"Does it matter? Dude stood you up, that's over and done, now for some fresh meat."

Rachel wrinkles her nose in disgust at Santana's words, but sighs when she sees the other two books sitting neatly on her desk, "Technically he didn't stand me up, he came, but just after I left and he bought me back my book _and_ the two others in the trilogy."

"Did he ask for sex?"

Rachel almost chokes at the other girl's words, "What? _No!_ Why would you even think that? I _just_ met him. He doesn't even know my last name!"

"Oh please Rachel don't be so naive. In my experience, men just don't buy things for random girls they just met and not expect something in return." She says pointedly, taking one of Rachel's carrot sticks and making an obscene gesture with it.

"Santana!" Rachel squeals in disgust, yanking the carrot stick from the other girl's mouth, "Can you not _do_ that? Besides what experience could you possibly have? You're _gay_."

"And? Just because I like vaginas doesn't mean I don't know that men all think with their dicks."

"_Must_ you speak like that?" Rachel asks exasperated wrinkling her nose in disgust and throwing her stuffed bear at Santana for added effect.

"Okay _virgin_ Rachel..."

"I'm not...no we are not getting into my sex life again." Rachel cuts off not falling for Santana's bait, she points an accusing finger at Santana just before the other girl opens her mouth, "And no comment on my _lack _thereof either!"

Santana laughs wholeheartedly at Rachel's expense, putting her hand up in defence, "_You_ said it not me, and I'm not going to point out, that despite the fact that you ended things with Sam last week, your _lacking_ in that department was _long_ before that."

Rachel growls, but instead of retorting like Santana expects, she picks up her forgotten book and hopes her roommate takes the hint. But she knows its wishful thinking on her part, because instead Santana simply takes that as an invitation to speak.

"In all seriousness though, Rae you need to get laid. Don't roll your eyes, I'm being serious! You need to have one wild night of raw passionate sex, multiple orgasms, find some stranger to make your toes curl and your insides feel like fire. You need one night, to let go of all you worries and troubles. You've been so tightly wound up, even before the shit with Sam, cause of school and well the douche and his slut didn't help. One night of no strings attached sex will do you good."

Rachel sighs, closing her book to look across at Santana, despite the other girls unorthodox way of doing things, Rachel can't ignore the sincerity of her words, no matter how crazy Santana's suggestion may be, "You know I'm not like that, and Finn..."

"I wasn't talking about Finn!" Santana says with a laugh, "No you have history there with the dude, he bought you _books._ That's trouble. Find a new guy,"

Rachel sighs in exasperation, "Okay, I'll go out with you tonight but I'm _not_ picking up some random guy to have sex with, but I will go out with you have a few drinks and relax."

"Yes! I knew you would see it my way!" Santana says with a grin as she slides off of Rachel's bed. "Now I have some shit to study but I will be back to see if I approve of your outfit."

"We never agreed to you choosing my clothes Santana!"

Santana stops at the entrance of Rachel's bedroom and turns to smirk at her, "Oh Rae, your innocence is so sweet. It's understood that I was choosing your outfit."

With that said she saunters off laughing at Rachel's protests. Rachel growls, Santana tricked her yet again.

It's going to be a _long_ night.

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><p>Five hours later Rachel finds herself in a dingy little club filled with smoke and loud music, people chatting, dancing and drinking as they wait for the bands to perform. She has a vodka and cranberry in her hand; that is probably watered down by now, and stands by the bar uncomfortably. Santana is at her side, but her friend is currently chatting up a pretty blond next to her. Rachel, on the other hand has been twirling the straw of her drink with one hand, while she tugs down her dress for the umpteenth time, avoiding eye contact with the other partygoers.<p>

She feels a slap against her wrist and turns to glare at Santana who has a look of annoyance, "Would you stop? You look hot!"

"I told you I would feel more comfortable in my jeans!" She hisses.

"And I told you, those fucking hot legs of yours aren't meant to be hidden! Now go mingle and chat up some unsuspected victim."

Rachel splutters in offense about to give Santana a few choice words, but when she looks up, she growls when she realizes that Santana is already in a lip lock with the blond she was chatting up. Rachel sighs pulling down her dress one more time before she tentatively makes her way through the crowd, ignoring some of the looks she's getting from some less than appealing men _and_ women. She's in the middle of the dance floor when everyone suddenly begins to cheer loudly, when she looks to the front where the stage is she gasps when she sees four boys on stage, one is holding a microphone, the other two a guitar and a keyboard respectively, it's not till she walks closer to the stage and sees the drummer she gapes in surprise.

Finn plays the _drums_, he's wearing a baseball cap, dressed in a worn out black shirt with a blue hoodie and grin on his face as he clicks his drum sticks together. Cheering along with the rest of his band mates as the lead singer, a short slim man with unruly curly hair introduces them. But his words go on deaf ears because Rachel is too focused on Finn.

She watches mesmerized by his bright smile as he begins to play, gone was the sourly guy she first met in the coffee house and now all she sees is a guy enjoying himself. She watches the way his biceps curl as he hits the drums, his head bobbing along to the beat, and he's mouthing out the verses with the lead singer, but then moves his head to the microphone when it's time for him to sing. She briefly wonders what he sounds like _alone_.

His band is _good_, like really good, they don't sing heavy metal or hard rock like she expected, but they have more of an alternative vibe to them. They have the entire crowd's attention and people are cheering along, some so much as singing the song, and Rachel briefly wonders how big of a deal is Finn's band. She finds herself swaying to the music, slowly slipping her drink as she fixates on Finn, the way he bites his lip in concentration at a particularly complicated part. Or the way he lights up when he begins to sings, she can tell how much he loves what he's doing just from his expression.

She's so fixated on Finn's arms though she doesn't realize he's watching _her_ until she looks at his face and she sees him smirking directly at her. She looks away immediately her cheeks flaming and she quickly walks off towards the bar, to refill her drink. She can't believe he even _saw_ her amongst the crowd, and she can't believe how long she stood there just staring at him as well.

"Well don't you look all hot and bothered." Santana's familiar voice rings out behind her just as she orders her drinks, Rachel rolls her eyes, turning around to tell her friend off, but she frowns when Santana tilts her face forward scrutinizing Rachel's face.

"I don't believe you, you didn't even get your mack on!" Santana says with a huff, pulling back to look at Rachel in disappointment.

"I thought for sure, that look was about that. So who were you lusting after anyway, but didn't have the balls to make a move?"

But Santana's words barely registers because she's too busy watching as Finn drums out to another song, sharing a laugh with the guy in the wheelchair who is currently playing the guitar, both of them completely in sync.

"Careful Rae, don't want to drool all over that dress." Santana teases slapping Rachel on the back and bringing her out of her trance, "So _that's_ your frat boy? Not bad, not bad at all. He's a little goofy looking, but..."

"He's not goofy looking!" Rachel protests, as she tears her gaze away from Finn, to glare at her friend who is currently grinning in amusement, "He's _hot_ and he has these dimples that..."

"Okay, backup." Santana says cutting Rachel off and spinning her away from the stage, so that Rachel can look the other girl in the eye, "Listen to me Rae, forget the drummer. You can't have a one night stand with the dude you were going to go out on a date with."

"Santana I'm not sleeping with anyone." Rachel protests but trails off when she sees the blonde from earlier slide up next to Santana and whispers in her friend's ear and Santana looks at Rachel apologetically.

"Just make sure you have your phone on you okay?" Rachel calls after her friend, rolling her eyes as the blonde pulls Santana away, usually she'd be upset about her friend abandoning her for some girl yet again, but this way she got Santana off her back, and Rachel can go back to quietly observing Finn.

She turns back to the stage but frowns in disappointment when she sees another band is setting up. With a sigh she walks over to the bar, to buy a drink as she originally planned and promises herself to call a cab after she finishes her drink. She's about to order her drink, when a green martini is placed in front of her. She looks up startled, only to see Finn grinning at her, nudging the martini towards her.

"You look like an apple martini kind of girl." He bends over next to her ear so that she can hear him. She takes the drink silently, trying to ignore the way her pores raise at the feel of his hot breath on her skin.

"Thank You." She says, but when he looks at her in confusion, she grips his shoulder with her free hand and goes on her tiptoes, (the killer heels Santana made her wear doesn't even make her reach his shoulders) and when he bends over so that his face is right by her mouth she speaks softly, some off his messy hair tickling her nose and she tries not to get lost in the smell of his aftershave.

When she pulls back, she quickly takes a long sip of her drink, hoping it hides the redness in her cheeks. She looks up at him and he smiles at her warmly, holding up his beer in understanding. She smiles back in return as she lowers her drink, he tilts his head signalling for her to follow him and despite her better judgement she nods and quickly slips behind him.

To her surprise he stretches out his hand, grabbing her wrist and gently pulling her through the crowd until they are standing the far away from the stage and by a little sitting area, the music somewhat duller.

"The lounge always seems to not get the full blast of the music." He says loudly, but she can hear him much better than before.

Despite the fact that they are in an open lounge, the amount of people in the area is just as much as on the dance floor, some dancing around the small coffee tables that are littered with empty glasses. There are people sitting on the small sofas, some chatting loudly, some resting and a few couples are making out.

She wrinkles her nose in disgust but allows Finn to pull her to a small vacant area on one of the sofas. She slides in next to him and has to bite her lip from making a sound when she ends up squishes to his side, tucked under his arm that's resting on the back of sofa, because the couple next to them just made the already small spot even smaller. Their legs are pressed together and she frowns when she sees her black dress hike up because of the way she's sitting. She's flashing a little bit too much of her upper thigh that she's comfortable with, but she can't do anything about it.

She tries to shift away a bit from him, but only succeeds in her knees firmly pressed closer to him. He takes a sip of his beer before he looks at her, "We can move if you're not comfortable."

"It's okay." She lies as she takes a sip of her martini, her feet are killing in these shoes as it is, and she's more comfortable with sitting and talking to him, rather than they go back on the dance floor. At least this way they are face to face.

"I didn't think you'd come." He says between sips of his beer.

"My roommate forced me to come." She admits sheepishly, "She said I needed to get out of the apartment and she found the flyer on the counter, so here I am."

She realizes belatedly how much of a brush off that sounded like, that along with the look Finn is giving her, she suspects he got the hint. But she can't feel guilty because she did _not_ come for him, sure he's cute and nice to look at, and smells _really_ good, but she doesn't want to give him the wrong impression, she did _not_ come for him. She's pretty sure there was no way of her convincing Santana she didn't want to come anyway.

"Ah, so I'm guessing you're still upset about the date." Finn says easily, no hint of disappointment or _anything_ really. The more she gets to know this boy the more she's confused.

"No, it was one date, no biggie." She replies, which _is_ true, granted it was the small push she needed to convince herself that focusing on her studies was more important anyway. Not that she was going to tell him anyway, "And thank you again for the books, you didn't have to."

"No biggie." He echoes, sending her a smile and she can't help but smile when he flashes her, his dimples, "So did you like it?"

"The books? I haven't finished..."She trails off her cheeks pinking up in embarrassment when she realizes he's talking about his band, to his credit he doesn't laugh at her but squeezes her shoulder slightly in reassurance.

"When you do, you should tell me about it. I read the back of it and it seems interesting." He says, and she can't tell if he's hinting at them meeting again or if he's actually interested in learning about the book, "But about my band, what do you think? You look more like a classical or showtunes girl."

"Definitely _not_ classical and I'm not sure I even know what a showtune _is_." She admits her nose wrinkling, she likes music well enough, especially current music, but she's never given it much of a thought, seeing as it's not likely to help her with her career. The music she _does_ listen to takes away all her troubles, as silly as it sounds, for just a moment.

"Like musicals." He explains, "My brother is convinced he's going to get out of this small town and make it big in New York, he's currently in the theatre department at your school."

Rachel nods as she takes another sip of her drink, realizing that she's almost finished with it, "I liked it. Your band I mean, it's clear that all of you enjoy what you do very much. You're very talented."

She smiles when his cheeks redden at her compliment, his arm now casually draped over her shoulders, his thumb brushing her bare skin absentmindedly. She ignores the way her body heats up at that simple touch and focuses on what he's asking her.

"Did you have a favourite song?" He asks her curiously.

Her eyes widen in surprise at his question, because although she did enjoy the music she didn't really _listen_ to the lyrics, she was more focused on _him_. "The first one was nice. What was the name of it?"

To her horror he chuckles at her and places his other hand on her knee, clearly seeing right through her bluff "It's okay, no one really knows the songs right off like that, but the first one is a favourite of mind. I wrote it actually."

"You write music?" She says in awe, she may not be that immersed in music but she can appreciate talent when she sees it, "Finn that's amazing, what's the name of the song?"

"Seaside Beauty." Finn says with a sheepish grin, "I guess something good comes from a girl breaking your heart."

"Oh I'm sorry." She says sincerely.

Finn shrugs nonchalant, "I was 14."

"Oh my gosh! You made me think it was a terrible breakup!" Rachel says with a laugh, slapping his chest lightly.

"Hey! It _was_." He insists but his eyes are twinkling and the corners of his mouth are just barely hiding a grin, "I asked out this beautiful girl I met on a beach and she turned me down."

"How old was the girl?" She teases, shifting closer to him, her hand casually resting on his jean clad knee.

"Don't make fun! It was a very traumatising experience. You girls don't get the kind mental _agony_ a guy goes through to ask you out."

"That's why you used your dog then?" Rachel teases, laughing at Finn dramatics as his eyes widen.

"Way to hit me when I'm down." He says with mock forlorn, his hand to his chest.

Rachel laughs wholeheartedly but plays along anyway and grabs his hand, "I'm sorry, clearly you've improved. You got me to say yes didn't you?"

"I didn't I?" He says with a grin, their hands now resting on his leg, as his thumbs brush across her wrist slowly, and she can't seem to find it in her to pull away.

"You did." She confirms softly, looking from his hand then back to his face.

She bites her lip as she watches him lick his lips, before he speaks, "What else about the performance did you like?"

"Um... you're really good with the drums...I like your little solo part." She says, tearing her gaze away from his lips to focus on what she's saying, before she makes a fool of herself.

Finn smiles his hand now resting on her bare thigh, as he leans a little bit closer to her, "Yea? Maybe I can teach you sometime."

This time Rachel can't even focus on what he's saying far less respond appropriately because she's gazing at his lips, licking her own just as he moves closer to her. When he stops just centimetres from her lips, his hot breath over her skin as her speaks, she has to stop herself from growling in frustration that _he_ stopped.

"Can I kiss you?" He asks softly, his eyes boring into her.

She can't even mutter a word, but simply nods her head and then his lips are hot hers, and she sighs against his mouth, her fingers digging into his thigh as, his tongue caresses her bottom lip. She uses her other hand to pull him closer to her as she deepens the kiss, she knows she should _not_ be doing this, but Santana's words are ringing in her ears and she thinks a little harmless kissing would do her good.

She sighs against Finn's lips, as his much larger hand grips her leg, tugging her closer to him, his other hand cupping the back of her neck as he moans against her mouth. She plays with the lobe of his ear as she snips and sucks on his bottom lip, her insides heating up; her body on fire as he caresses her thigh. His fingers hooking under the hem of her skirt, rubbing her bare skin, she knows she should put a stop to this but she can't, her body seems to have a mind of its own, as she hooks her leg, over his own bringing her closer to him, her other knee now pressed against both their legs (She at least as some semblance of dignity, to _not_ flash the other partygoers.) All the while she never once pulls away from his lips.

She's never felt so alive by another man's kisses in her life. She finally pulls back, both of them panting, his forehead resting on hers, as he breathes deeply, his hand still under her skirt. Yet she doesn't even think to move it.

He though suddenly tenses when he realizes where exactly his hand is, and the fact that her thigh is pressed very close to his crotch, but he has yet to move as, he then cups her face with his other hand, caressing her cheek as he kisses her slowly, "You wanna get out of here?"

She pauses for a minute, wondering briefly what she's doing, but then she looks at him, his eyes dilated, his lips swollen, still panting because of _her_. She can feel her own arousal building, her body heating up at just the thought of what else he can do with his mouth has her nodding in agreement before she can talk herself out of what she's about to do.

"Okay."

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><p><em>Bet you weren't expecting that right? LOL there is a reason the rating is M so early on. :)<em>

Reviews are love ;)


	3. Chapter 3

_Thank you all for the reviews :)_

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><p>She's lying on his bed, her heart racing; her body on fire, her dress bunched up high up on her thighs, but low enough to cover her. She's sprawled out across his small bed, her chest heaving as she waits for him to come back to the room after putting Elphie in his brother's room.<p>

Apparently, Finn lives with his brother Kurt, and Elphie is Kurt's dog.

She squirms restlessly on the bed, waiting for him, her skin hot against the cool sheets, her mind racing as she remembers the way they were kissing on his bed not two seconds ago, her legs around his torso, hands roaming, the way Finn's callous hands moved high up on her thigh. He was just about to tug off her underwear, when Elphie came out from under his bed barking loudly at them, no doubt, not pleased at being woken up by them.

Rachel bites her lip, wondering yet again if she's making a colossal mistake, this is _not_ her. She's not that type of girl, but before she can further talk herself out what she's about to do, Finn stumbles back into the room. He looks at her sheepishly, he's long since lost his hoodie and t-shirt, and is only dressed in his jeans with his belt buckle undone. Both of their coats were thrown half-hazardly on Finn's arm chair since they stumbled into his room earlier, lips still firmly attached.

She watches the way his shoulders tense as he rubs his neck uncomfortably, as he looks at her, "Sorry about that."

"It's okay." She says biting her lip as he crawls onto the bed, and over her.

"If you don't want to do this we don't have to." He says softly shifting his weight on her, as he tucks a lock of hair behind her ear.

She licks her lips in thought, he's giving her an out, she should probably take it, but at the same times she feels him as he shifts again, his growing erection pressing against the inside of her thigh and in that moment, she decides she's going with what her body wants. She goes up on her elbows and crashes her lips against his, nipping at it roughly, essentially answering his silent question.

She moans into his mouth, gripping his bare shoulder as she feels his callous fingers move up her thigh, bunching up her dress. She pulls away and sits up letting him take off the dress in one swift movement, she can't even be bothered with the slight tear she hears. She's only focus on the way Finn's eyes widen at the sight of her bare breasts. Of course Santana chose something of _hers_ that required no bra.

Her entire body heats up at Finn's scrutiny and she gasps when he pushes her back on the bed and latches his mouth over her breast. Her body hums in appreciation as Finn tugs and sucks at her breast. She arches her back into him her fingers tightening on his shoulders. Heat pooling between her legs.

"Finn." She gasps out, she's never felt so alive by another man's mouth before. She's never felt herself tilting on the brink of release like this, so soon, she just needs more and she tells him just that, "More."

Finn releases her breast with an audible pop and smirks up at her, lowering his mouth against her stomach, swirling his tongue at her bellybutton. Her body begins to squirm in anticipation as he moves lower, his hand firm on her stomach to keep her in place. When his mouth reaches her inner thigh, he places hot wet kisses up and down her smooth skin, just inches from where she wants him to be. Her body is on fire and she needs him to stop teasing her, she knows he can smell her arousal, as she automatically widens her legs, so he's now settled between her.

"Finn _please." _She begs him desperately.

He looks up again, smirking at her from between her legs, and he grips the waist band of her sheer pink thong, and before she can even react, he tears the small piece of fabric right off her. She gasps in shock but before she can even think about telling him something about that, she gasps, again but this time in pure bliss as she feels his wet tongue at her folds. She starts to squirm, bucking her hips towards his face, her body craving release.

"Oh god." She moans out as his tongue brushes against her folds again this time probing between them. She grips the sheets keening out his name as he begins to lick and suck at her folds.

"_Finn!_" She practically screams out when her plunges two fingers into her, his teeth just barely grazing her clit. She raises her hips off the bed pushing down onto his fingers, gasping out, she's so close.

When she feels Finn's tongue press firmly down on her clit, that's all she can take and she screams out in ecstasy, gasping for breath as she collapses on the bed, but Finn is relentless and doesn't stop pumping his hand, moving his fingers in and out of her, she can feel her body begin to tense again, and when he starts to suck on her clit _hard_ that with the added stimulation of his fingers moving in and out of her, it's not long before she's keening out his name again as she comes for a second time.

When he pulls out his fingers he immediately crawls up her body and kisses her roughly, she grunts in appreciation, never feeling so wonton and needy before. No one has ever made her feel like this. Her hands quickly undo his jeans, and they are both pulling that off along with boxers. Once he's naked he moves over her, his chest pressed up against her bare breasts and they both groan at the sensation. They kiss heatedly for a few more minutes, until she can't take it anymore and she just needs him inside of her.

She pulls back, panting as she looks at him, "Condom?"

He nods and stretches over her to his bedside table grabbing a condom from in the draw. She watches as he knees in front of her, quickly tearing open the packet and rolling on the condom. She sits up and bats his hand away, and slowly begins to pump his shaft, loving the way his hips buck into her hands and he moans out her name.

"You think you're ready?" She asks cheekily, not knowing where this confidence suddenly came from.

Finn growls in response and to her surprise, he hooks his arms under her knees, tugging her towards him, and she falls to the mattress with a yelp of surprise. He smirks down at her, bending her knees and then spreading her legs, moving forward so that their hips are aligned, she braces herself in anticipation, waiting for him to slide in, but when he doesn't, she looks up at him curiously. That's when she realises he's waiting for her to tell him when. She nods her head and he squeezes her hand just before he slides in, and they both gasp simultaneously as he fills her completely.

She squeezes her knees on either side of his torso, gasping as he starts to move within her, she arches her back raising her hips to meet his strokes. Her hands flat on his back as she tugs him to her and he moans out her name.

"_Fuck_." He hisses as she begins to clench around him, gasping at the feel of him slipping out of her before he slams back in.

She can already feel the tension building up within her and she just needs _more_, "Faster."

He adheres to her request almost immediately as he begins to grind down on her thrusting his hips, and she gasps out feeling the way her pushes into her, the sound of their naked flesh slapping against each other echoing around his small room.

"Oh, god Rachel." He hisses out picking up his pace, his thrust beginning to become erratic as slams down into her.

"Yes. Oh yes...yes..._oh!_"

She calls out, her legs wrapping around his torso, her heels digging into his ass as she pulls him closer, her muscles clenching around him repeatedly, as her hips raise with each thrust of his hips. Sex has never been like this for her, she's never felt so...so _alive_ before. She's so close she just needs that final push and as though reading her mind, Finn lowers his mouth to her breast, sucking on it _hard_ and that's all she can take before she's screaming out his name as she comes. She continues to move, clenching around him and sure enough he follows her soon after, only her name on his lips.

He collapses on top of her both of them breathing heavily, their bodies covered in sweat, she absentmindedly runs her fingers through his damp hair, and he hums in appreciation, after a few minutes he rolls off her, both of the groaning out softly. She licks her dry lips, turning her head when she feels him slide off the bed, she watches as he disposes off the condom and then comes back to the bed collapsing partly on top of her and partly on the bed, his bed is clearly not made for two people. He drapes his arm over her stomach, his head resting on her bare breast and she can feel herself begin to drift off, the ramifications of what she just did will hit her tomorrow.

* * *

><p>She slowly wakes to the lack of feeling in her left arm and her mouth dry. She licks her lips, turning her head to the left only to be greeted by an unruly mop of now familiar brown hair. She groans softly, trying to move but feels the dead weight of Finn's head on her arm and his arm flung over her bare stomach, his right leg all tangled up with hers.<p>

She moves her legs from under his and holds back a groan when she feels the unfamiliar pain at the back of her thighs, practically her whole body is aching really. She doesn't try to move from under Finn just yet, but she closes her eyes as the memories from earlier that night slowly comes back to her, her cheeks reddening at the thought of the things she did..._they_ did.

She can't believe she had even let her inhibitions go so badly. She slept with Finn and it was _so_ wrong and yet so, _so_ good at the same time. The aches in her body will surely vouch for the good, no, the _great_ part of the night. Rachel sighs as she has to stop herself from running her fingers through Finn's hair, his head is just resting on the crook of her arm, and she hates that she even wants to run her fingers through his hair in the first place, or the fact that she doesn't even want to move from her spot.

She rolls her eyes at her ridiculousness and slowly eases out from under Finn's body, freezing when he grumbles, but to her relief he simply rolls back onto his stomach taking a pillow with him and pulling it close to him. Rachel stands there and watches the define contours of his back, the way his shoulder blades pull from him having his arms wrapped around the pillow. She involuntary licks her lips as she gazes down his back and sees that the blanket did not move along with him so the sheet is just barely covering his ass. She can feel the heat between her legs begin to rise as she thinks about the way her heels dig into his ass, and she blushes at her straying thoughts.

Rachel slaps her head with the palm of her hand, hoping _that _clearsher lust filled mind, as she quietly begins to move around the room looking for her clothes. She finds her dress in a bundle on the floor and inspects it closely, glad that it only has a _little_ tear, it is _Santana's_ dress after all. Then again knowing her best friend, Santana would be _proud_ that Rachel had someone tear the dress.

But Santana will _not_ find out about this, this was a terrible mistake, tonight only proved to her that she was _not_ cut out for this kind of thing. She's proud of herself that she was able to come out of her skin so to speak, do something that she would _never_ do, but at the same time this also showed her she _prefers_ her routine schedule, doing things at her own pace, Finn _was_ on her mind way too much since she first saw him and she's glad at least this little thing, will get him out of her system.

Rachel groans when she finally finds her underwear, which is torn at the side and _not_ wearable. Rachel bites her lip, knowing she can't just leave Finn's apartment without underwear, she eyes his chest of drawers and quickly pulls open the first draw, rolling her eyes at all the array of clothes inside, she quickly pulls on one of his football jerseys and a pair of boxers. She makes a mental note to wash them and return them to him, but then she realizes she can't because she's not going to see him again.

She hopes he wouldn't notice and quickly makes her way to grab her coat and heels, but not before looking over at Finn's sleepless form. She hates the fact that a small part of her wishes she could just crawl back into bed with him.

* * *

><p>Thirty minutes later, Rachel gently pushes the front door to her and Santana's close, turning the locks quickly before she quietly makes her way across the living room and towards her room, her heels swinging from her left hand as she tugs the tails of her coat closer together.<p>

"Are you out of your fucking _mind_?"

Rachel screams in surprise her heels falling to the floor with a clank. She was not expecting Santana to even _be_ in the apartment far less standing in the doorway between the kitchen and the living room her arms folded across her chest in anger.

"Do you not know how to answer your fucking phone? It's 4:30 in the fucking morning Rachel!" Santana yells throwing up her hands in the air as she stomps over to Rachel only dressed in a large t-shirt and multicoloured striped knee socks Rachel has never seen before.

"I only saw your message earlier and I didn't think you'd be awake!" Rachel apologizes as moves to pick up her heels off the floor, her coat gaping open as she does.

"Ay Dios Mio!" Santana exclaims loudly, grabbing Rachel's arms and pulling opened her coat, Rachel frowns at the twinkle in Santana's eyes, all the girl's anger from earlier evaporating as soon as she sees the football jersey and boxers that Rachel is currently wearing, "_Lucy_ you got some splainin' to do!"

Rachel growls as she yanks her coat out of Santana's grasps and ties it back tightly around her, "Shut up."

But Santana is relentless and cackles in delight, "You had _sex_, no scratch that, you had a one night stand and _snuck_ _out_ before he even realized! And you stole his _clothes_! Oh I'm like a proud mama."

"You'd be the worst mother ever." Rachel grumbles as she plops onto the couch and Santana only giggles in response moving to sit next to her.

"Gotta hand it to you Rach, you don't half-ass things, if you do something you do it right." Santana teases, reaching to tug open Rachel's coat smirking at Rachel's 'outfit' and no doubt the way the large clothes dwarf Rachel's tiny frame, "How big was this guy?"

"_Santana!_" Rachel shrikes, slapping Santana's hand away from tugging at the football jersey, "I'm not going to tell you how big his _penis_ is!"

"Wow munchkin, one little wild night and suddenly we're talking penises?" Santana laughs wholeheartedly, "I was just talking in general, you're kinda swimming in the dude's clothes, but you know if you want to give me details..."

"_No!" _Rachel protests, moving to take off her coat, the warmth of the apartment getting to her, "Look it was a terrible lack in judgement on my part, and well it won't ever happen again."

"That's the point of one night stand, munchkin." Santana says with amusement, patting Rachel's hand, "Don't worry you will learn."

Rachel wrinkles her nose in disgust, "I'm never doing this again!"

"Was the sex that bad?" Santana asks in alarm, "Is that why you left so quickly? Did he at least make you come?"

"Santana!" Rachel gasps at the frankness of her friend's tone, she rolls her eyes when Santana doesn't even flinch but looks at her pointedly, "Oh fine it wasn't bad...it was..._animalistic_."

Rachel blushes in embarrassment as she shifts to face Santana, tugging Finn's boxers that were beginning to slip down(She isn't wearing underwear after all), "I've never felt anything like that before...so wanton. No one ever made me feel so raw and passionate, so desperate for...it was _really_ good and just...wow."

"Sam never got your panties in a twist _ever_?" Santana asks in disbelief, "God, Rachie you should have left him years ago. If a man can't even make you orgasm after dating you all those years, but a complete strange can fuck you speechless...Holy fuck is that a _hickey_?"

Rachel tries to pull up the sleeve but Santana is slapping her hand away and tugging down the sleeve, inspecting the red bruise on Rachel's shoulders, Rachel's cheeks heats up at the girl's next words.

"Animalistic indeed, there are _teeth_ marks." Santana whistles sitting back against the armrest and grins at Rachel suggestively, "So are you going to tell me what happened to your clothes? Or am I going to have to guess? Do you even have my dress or is that torn to pieces in the dude's house? I still can't believe you even went back to his place, I thought for sure you'd bring him home. Then again I never thought we would be even having this conversation!"

"Your dress isn't the one that tore..." Rachel trails off her eyes widening in horror about what she just said and Santana's jaw drops, as Rachel buries her face in her hands.

"Oh _my_ god. You aren't wearing any _panties_." Santana hisses, poking Rachel in the leg with her sock clad toes, "Who the fuck was this guy Rachel? You need to keep him around."

"Shut up." Rachel bemoans burying her face in her hands again, as Santana continues to laugh at her expense.

"Tell me you at least knew his name."

"Of course I know his _name_, I wouldn't just go to some random man's house if I didn't _know_ him." Rachel says with a growl tugging Santana's dress out of the inner pocket of her coat and throwing it at her friend, "I could never do that, randomly meet someone and then go home with them."

"It was Finn wasn't it." Santana says deadpan after Rachel's small rant, Rachel bites her lip and looks at her sheepishly and Santana groans throwing her head back against the couch in disbelief.

"Rachel, I told you _not_ to sleep with him, you have baggage with him!" Santana says in exasperation, "We went over this, you can't have a one night stand with baggage!"

"We had one fail attempt at a date! I hardly call that baggage." Rachel says rolling her eyes, "Not like it matters I'm not going to see him again. That's what you call a one night stand right?"

"Yes..." Santana drawls out as she eyes closely, suddenly she gasps at slaps Rachel on the leg, "You're smiling. You like him!"

"No, _no_." Rachel says biting her lip, "I really did decide that, that was a one night thing, but...he's _really_ good with hands."

Santana giggles wholeheartedly, "Well look at you. You do know you can just use him for sex."

"Santana!" Rachel gasps scandalized, "Just because the sex was amazing doesn't mean I'm going to use a person like that!"

"Well he agreed to it being a one night thing, I don't see why he wouldn't agree to making it a regular thing, no strings attached." Santana points out.

Rachel bites her lip guilty, "Well he didn't exactly...I mean we didn't talk... I thought it was understood!"

"Rachel." Santana groans in disbelief, "_This_ is why you don't sleep with people you have baggage with! You have to lay out the rules, be perfectly clear, now he probably thinks there is something going on."

"No."

Rachel says and she hates that she's even _slightly_ hopeful at this, she can't date Finn, he's sweet and caring and overall very handsome, but she just broke up with Sam and it's time for her to focus on herself, to focus on _school_ right now. She starts medical school next year she can't have that kind of distraction, the point of this little experiment of hers was just her proving to herself that she _can_ get out of her own skin, but she prefers to stick to what she knows. She prefers to not have to jump into a relationship or anything of that sort now, and just focus on school.

She looks across at Santana who is shaking her head in disproval and she's pretty sure her friend sees right through Rachel, and Rachel braces herself for the lecture she _knows_ she's going to get but before Santana could speak, her bedroom door creeks open much to Rachel's surprise.

"San?" A sleepy voice calls out, and Rachel eyes widen when the girl sticks out her head, rubbing her eyes and she realizes it's the blond from earlier.

"I'm coming Brit!" Santana calls out, and once her door is closed she looks at Rachel shrugging her shoulders sheepishly, "She's a _dancer_. She can bend in ways I didn't think was _possible_ and like..."

"Okay! No need for details!" Rachel begs.

Santana huffs as she stands up, "So I have to listen to you go on about how big Finn's penis is but you can't listen to me tell you how Brittany can bend her legs behind her head?"

"I told you no such thing!" Rachel protests scowling as Santana laughs wholeheartedly as she tugs Rachel to her feet.

"Rach, I saw the dude, he's _huge_ I'm pretty sure he's probably well proportionate, and by the looks of you face, and the fact that you look thoroughly fucked. I'd say I'm right."

Rachel groans knowing anything she says, will only encourage Santana, who chuckles tugging Rachel's falling sleeve back on her shoulder and smiles, "I'm going back to my dancer, sweet _dirty_ dreams about your frat boy."

"He's not a frat boy!" Rachel protests, "He lives with his brother and his brother's dog. But not like it matters, I'm not going to see him again."

"Sure you aren't"

"I thought you didn't approve of Finn?" Rachel calls out in confusion.

Santana turns around and grins at her, "I didn't, when we were talking about a one night stand. But I'm pretty sure this won't be the last I'll be hearing about your frat boy. Going by the look on your face and the hickey on her shoulder."

With those final words Santana turns around and heads into her bedroom, not waiting for Rachel to respond, leaving Rachel with her thoughts. Rachel will prove Santana wrong.

* * *

><p>A few days pass by and there is no sign from Finn, although to be fair she's avoided the coffeehouse all week and rarely goes outside except for class. She washed Finn's clothes and they are neatly folded on her chair and every time she sees them she feels a little guilty cause she is <em>not<em> a thief, but she can't exactly just drop it off at the coffeehouse or leave it with Annie.

Instead it just sits on her chair, a constant reminder of what she did and she's not going to do anything about it.

It's not till almost a week later she's coming out of her chemistry class and she sees him, before he sees her. He's leaning against a wall on the opposite side of the entrance of the lecture hall, his eyes are focused on his phone and as soon as she sees him, she panics and slips into the nearest bathroom, clutching her bag and breathing heavily. She wonders how he even _knows_ this is where she has classes, sure at some point during the night on the walk back to his house she told him that she was currently in the premedical program, but she didn't think he would show up here. It's been almost a week since that night she thought for sure that she would never see him again (granted she's been avoiding the one place she _would_ see him). She waits fifteen minutes before she walks out the bathroom sighing in relief when she doesn't see him, she makes a beeline for her apartment on the opposite side of campus, tugging her beret over her head, hoping she doesn't run into him.

And to think, this was the first night that she _didn't_ dream about that night with him.

* * *

><p>The next day she's coming out of the library, her earphones stuck in her ears, 'Snow Patrol' blasting in her head, she's so focused on finding the right song off their first album, she doesn't see him until she feels someone grasp her arm. She gasps in shock, even more so when she sees him looking at her expectantly.<p>

"Finn!" She stutters in surprise, clutching her iPhone nervously in her hand, "Hi."

"Hey, I have..."

"Sorry, but I'm running late for class, I'll catch you later?" Rachel asks quickly, she pulls her arm out of his grasps, ignoring his calls as she walks away swiftly, her cheeks red.

She doesn't even know _why_ she just did that in the first place, it's clear that he thinks something was suppose to come from that night but she really shouldn't go on avoiding him forever.

Rachel sighs, she's so totally screwed. She _knew_ she should never take advice from her best friend.

* * *

><p>The following Friday, she's sitting in the semi crowded cafeteria eating her chicken salad while reading the second book in The Hunger Games Trilogy, she's more focused on the book than her food, completely immersed in the idea that Katniss and Peeta will be going back into the arena yet <em>again<em>. She's so focused on the injustice of it all and cursing the Capitol, that she doesn't even realize someone is standing next to her until a large familiar hand is over her book and grabbing it before she could protest.

"Hey!" She looks up her fork slipping from her grasp when she sees Finn standing over her, her book held high over his head, "Oh."

"So my name is 'oh' now?" He asks in amusement, "I didn't think I'd have to take _another_ one of your books to get your attention again. Then again last week you seemed to be calling me _oh_ a lot."

Rachel cheeks flame at his words, "I'm sorry."

"For avoiding me all this week? Or leaving that night?" Finn counters, his face unreadable.

Rachel sighs, taking his free hand and tugging him down to the bench, she doesn't want to have this conversation, in the school cafeteria of all places, but he makes a point though, she _can't _keep avoiding him.

"I'm sorry about both of those things, and I'm sorry if I gave you the impression that I wanted more between the two of us. I know it seems that way, but I just ended a five year relationship only two weeks ago. Oh, now it sounds like you were the rebound, but you really weren't, you're very sweet Finn but I'm just not looking for a serious relationship right now. I'm starting medical school next year and in order to get in I want to focus completely on my studies. That night was great Finn, it really was, but I'm sorry if I gave you the impression that I wanted more than that."

When she finishes, she braces herself for the disappointment on his face, but to her surprise he still continues to grin at her and moves to pull something out of the pocket of his coat. She's even more surprised when he holds up her gold star dangling earring.

"Actually, I just wanted to give this back to you." He says, taking her hand and placing the earring delicately in her palm. "You told me that they were gifts from your Dads for your 21st birthday. I figured they were important to you. But I'm glad you thought that night was great too."

With that said he sends her a grin and turns around, Rachel looks at his retreating figure in disbelief. That's it? That's all he has to say about that night? She can't believe he is so flippant about it, like she was just another notched on his bedside. The _audacity_ of that man.

Rachel growls in frustration pocketing her earring and quickly packing away her stuff, her appetite lost, she thought he would have at least _protested_ to her words, but he doesn't even _say_ anything about that night.

She was there that night, she did _not_ imagine those feelings, those _looks_ they shared, he has another thing coming if he thinks he's just going to brush it all off like that.

Just because _she_ doesn't want anything to come from that night doesn't mean there _was_ not anything, and he will damn well admit that to her.

* * *

><p><em>Rachel seems to be a woman on a mission now lol.<em>

_Reviews are love ;)_


	4. Chapter 4

**So sorry for the long wait, but this chapter was proving to be much more difficult than I anticipated. Thank you all for the words of encouragement to continue this and I'm so glad so many of you are enjoying it :)**

* * *

><p>Rachel stomps into the coffee house and up to the counter on a mission, an old shopping bag clutched to hand, her eyes blazing as she sees Finn at the counter, she slaps her hand down to get his attention, not caring about the looks she's getting from other patrons, "Can I talk to you?"<p>

Finn eyes widen but he slowly nods, and quickly tells the other barista to take over. He then follows Rachel to a secluded part of the coffee house. Once they are alone, she shoves the bag into his chest.

"Those are yours." She says almost spitting out the words.

"Thanks?" Finn asks uncertainty as he peeks into the bag and then looks at her in confusion, "Did I do something wrong?"

Rachel growls in frustration at his tone, she folds her arms over her chest and stomps her foot out in frustration, "Did that night mean nothing to you?"

Finn blanches at her words, rubbing his neck uncomfortably, "But you said..."

Rachel waves off his comment, cutting him off, "I know what _I_ said, but _you_ were the one that asked me out first, and after that all I get is a 'it was _great_'?"

She watches as Finn's eyes narrow at her words, much to her surprise, she was not expecting that kind of reaction, "Says the girl who snuck out, and then proceeded to avoid me for an entire week after we had sex. You hid in a _bathroom_ to avoid me and now because I said it was _great_. Which by the way it _was_, suddenly that's not good enough for you? Well I'm sorry Rachel, but I'm not going to suddenly drop everything I'm doing just because _now_ you're ready to talk."

With that said he turns around to walk away, but Rachel bites him lip and calls out to him stopping him in his tracks, "Finn wait."

She makes the few quick steps over to him and looks up at him apologetically, "I'm sorry, you're right I shouldn't have come in here, demanding things from you, when all week you were trying to speak to me and I just brushed you off."

Finn nods, rubbing his hand against the little bit of scruff on his cheek in thought, "You confuse me Rachel."

"What? Why?"

"Just yesterday you were saying you weren't looking for anything serious and basically informed me it was a one night stand, and now you're asking for more?"

"What? _No_." Rachel gasps in horror, shaking her head from side to side, "I never said any such thing! I'm sorry if _you_ hoped..."

"I assumed it was a onetime thing." Finn said cutting her off.

"It _is..._ it _was_." Rachel implores.

"Then what are you even doing here?" Finn asks in confusion, he holds up the bag with his clothes, "It's not like I _needed_ these back. Usually girls don't _return_ clothes after a one night stand unless they want more from it."

"_Usually_? You do this often?"

"Don't you?"

"I do no such thing!" Rachel says appalled, gasping at his audacity, narrowing her eyes as he begins to laugh.

"_Oh_. So you're _that_ girl." Finn says knowingly, with a smirk, "You pretend not to care, but then come back under those pretences trying to see what _my_ thoughts on the issue is, when in fact you really _do_ want more."

"_No!_ I do not want...you..." Rachel growls in frustration, folding her arms across her chest and she glares at Finn who's still smirking at her in amusement, "Urgh! Why are boys so stupid!"

With that said she stomps off ignoring Finn's calls, for the first time she wishes she didn't disapprove of profanities and she could tell Finn, to simply put it, 'fuck off'. The audacity of this man, he's so full of himself, making it seem like she's begging him for a date. _He_ was the one that asked her out first, _he_ was that invited her to _his_ place, and when she was going to leave after the first time, _he_ was insisted she stayed. Granted he didn't really have to persuade her much, after all his hands and mouth did all the persuading for him.

Rachel bit her lip as she thought about how _good_ Finn truly is with his hands, but then she caught herself and shook her head. No she _cannot_ be thinking about Finn anymore, he just proved to her that she was just a notch on his bedpost, and she should have known better to sleep with a _drummer_ of all people. He's in a band for crying out loud, if that doesn't scream rebel she doesn't know what does.

It's her own fault really, she was being careless and reckless and just _so_ not herself, but there is just something about Finn Hudson, that just draws her to him, which she knows is stupid. The fifteen minute walk to his apartment does not exactly constituting a productive way of having a real meaning full conversation with a person. That and she and Finn took fifteen minutes because they kept stopping to make out.

Rachel shakes her head, no it's about time she forgets about Finn Hudson and focus on her studies, that's what she said she'd be doing, and she's going to finally take her own advice.

* * *

><p>"What the fuck crawled up your ass and died?" Santana asks between bites of her cereal, already dressed for her 8:00 am class unlike Rachel, who's class doesn't start for another two hours<p>

Rachel looks up from her cup of coffee and narrows her eyes at her friends words, "Nothing's wrong with me. What's wrong with _you_?"

Santana simply rolls her eyes in response, "You've been biting my head off for the past two days. I admit at first I use egg you on just to piss you off, cause that shit is funny, but now you're starting to piss _me_ off. So what gives?"

"Boys are stupid." Rachel declares as she slips onto the stool next to Santana, and places her head on the counter and groaning when she hears Santana's laughter.

"The frat boy? _Really_? He's the reason for this bitchy Rachel I've been dealing with? Seriously?" Santana asks incredulously, as she grabs a nearby spoon and offers it to Rachel, pushing her cereal bowl towards the other girl, "Did you go looking for more sex and he turned you down?"

Rachel narrows at her friend, but continues to chew her food silently, her lack of response only encouraging Santana and her inquisition, the other girl already feeding off of Rachel's irritation. But the girl's next words, makes Rachel freeze mid chew, hitting too close to home.

"Did he say the sex wasn't as good as you thought it was?" Santana teases, but on seeing Rachel's reaction, Santana wipes the smirk off her face, "_Seriously?_ He thought the sex was _bad_? Well I blame Sam for that..."

"_Santana! _Could you not?" Rachel moans in embarrassment.

"No I'm serious, I'm pretty sure your sex life with Sam was as boring as it gets, but even though doesn't the frat boy have _eyes_?" Santana asks incredulously, "You're smoking Rach, even if the sex was bad..."

"_Santana Stop!_" Rachel protests, her cheeks flaming, "Let's just drop it okay? I don't want to talk about Finn or sex, okay?"

Santana nods and the two finish the cereal in silence, but as Santana gets up to put the bowl and two spoons in the sink she pauses on the stool and looks at Rachel closely, "So he _actually_ told you it was bad?"

Rachel groans at her friend's question, but fortunately for her a knocking on their front door brings the conversation to a halt, Rachel quickly grabs the bowl and spoons from Santana, "Get that will you?"

Santana glares at her but quickly walks off towards the door. Rachel moves to the sink, grabbing the sponge not paying attention to Santana until she hears her friend voice, the spoon in her hand dropping with a clank into the sink at Santana's words.

"Rachel! The frat boy you said was your worst lay ever, is here!"

Rachel eyes widen as she wipes her hands in her pjs and ties her robe around her torso tightly as she walks up behind Santana, and sure enough Finn is standing at the door, his face red in embarrassment, no doubt from Santana's words. Rachel elbows Santana in the gut, ignoring the girl's cackle as she walks off, and turns to Finn who is shifting uncomfortably at the entrance, Rachel's brown coat in his hand.

"Sorry about her." Rachel says sheepishly, when Finn says nothing, she eyes her coat questioningly.

"Oh..I..you left this in coffee house." Finn says handing it over to her, "I left it with Annie, but you never came around for it."

"How did you even get my address?" Rachel asks, not bothering to say thank you.

"You shouldn't put your apartment name and number on the tag of your coat." Finn says seriously, "Do you _want_ people to know where you live? Who even does that?"

Rachel narrows her eyes at him, gripping the door handle while she places on hand on her hip, the audacity of this man, "Thank you for the coat. But if you just came to insult me. I think you should leave."

Finn watches her for a few brief moments, until his shoulders slump and he sighs, as he runs his fingers through his hair, "Look I'm sorry for being an ass, at the coffee shop and just now. But in all seriousness, don't put your address on the tag of your coat of all things, you're just asking people to break into your house or something. It's not safe."

Rachel's defensive demeanour immediately deflates at his sincere words, "Thanks. I'll take them off."

Finn sends her a smile but before either of them speak a loud grown of exasperation is heard behind them, "Oh My _god_. I can't stand hear and listen to anymore of your bizarre mating ritual. I'm outta here."

Rachel watches as Santana grabs her school bag and slips between her and Finn not before calling out to her, "Rachie, you know the rules! You have sex anywhere but your room and you clean that shit up!"

"Oh god." Rachel bemoans as Santana's cackles disappears down the, thankfully empty corridor.

She looks up at Finn whose eyes are wide at the other woman's parting words, her cheeks reddening, "I'm sorry about her. That's Santana."

"I...you...she...she was joking right?" Finn asks nervously as he rubs his neck, reminding Rachel all too well about the night at the club, Finn's awkwardness was somewhat endearing to Rachel.

Rachel chuckles uncomfortably, stepping to the side and allowing Finn inside the apartment, "No she was very serious, because _I_ always tell her that when she has lady friends over."

"But I thought...you...never mind." Finn stutters his cheeks flaming.

Rachel smirks when she realizes what he's referring to, "You thought she was joking about herearlier comment? Not a nice feeling is it?"

Finn's eyes widens at her words and to her surprise he suddenly begins to laugh, "You thought...that night...Ha...seriously?"

Rachel eyes narrow, "Now our night together is _funny_ to you? I think it's time you _leave_."

Rachel growls as she stomps off towards the front door opening it and gesturing to Finn who is still standing in the living room laughing to himself, "Mr. Hudson don't make me call security."

At her words Finn begins to laugh even louder, when he sees the glare she's sending him he holds up his hands in defense, "I'm sorry, look you pissed me off okay? I know we started off on the wrong foot that first time in the coffee shop but I thought after that we hit it off pretty good. I know you aren't looking for anything serious, and honestly neither am I but I thought at least we'd be friendly enough that you'd respect me and not just avoid me like that. Tell me straight, you didn't expect anything from that night, don't avoid me. But then you came to the coffee house all strung up or whatever, _demanding_ shit from me. But shit Rachel you were there that night. You _know_ it was good. I thought the _three_ orgasms spoke for itself."

Rachel cheeks flamed at his words and smiles shyly at him, "I'm pretty sure that was the time after you woke me up. The _first_ time."

"Yea, that was fun." Finn says with a smile, and nudges her slightly, and she giggles, "See, _this_ is the Rachel I like to talk to. You're so high strung, I mean after the coffee thing I figured that much but it's so much more, you need to relax a bit. Have some fun."

Rachel sighs as Finn basically says the same thing Santana tells her all the time, "Things haven't been easy for me these past few weeks...and well I'm in my final year of pre-med and I have to start applying to medical schools soon. I'm studying _all_ the time."

"I won't even pretend to understand the kind of stress you are probably under." Finn says truthfully as she takes her hand and looks her in the eye, "But you gotta make sometime for yourself as well. All work and no play makes Rachel a very dull girl."

Rachel giggles at his remark even more so when he playfully taps her nose with his finger, but before she could comment further Finn suddenly perks up, "I have just the thing for you!"

"Finn, we're not sleeping together again." Rachel says seriously, frowning when Finn laughs.

"Glad to see where your dirty mind is at Ms. Berry, but I wasn't talking about sex." Finn says with a mischievous smile, than intrudes Rachel more that it should, "Ever been to the beach?"

Rachel's nose wrinkles in confusion at his question, "When I was a kid and my Dads took me to Hawaii but what..."

"Good, we're going to the beach." Finn says tugging her by the hand, his face lighting up like a kid on Christmas, "Go get dressed and we'll go."

"What? Are you insane? The closest beach to here is like..."

"Four hours away, which is why we need to get on the road." Finn says patting her on the behind playfully, grinning at her scowl, "Hop to it."

"Finn! I can't go to the beach with you." Rachel protests as he starts ushering her towards the two bedrooms on the other side of the living room, "I have class in twenty minutes! I have anatomy lab this evening. I have responsibilities Finn."

"Are any of these classes mandatory? Are they part of your final grade?"

"Of course not, but..."

"Can you catch up on this same work tomorrow? Which is Saturday if you didn't know." Finn says cheekily.

Rachel bites her lip in thought, she's never misses a day of school in her life, but then suddenly this boy is standing in front of her, flashing those irresistible dimples at her, enticing her with his enthusiasm and she doesn't know how she's already entertaining the idea of going to the _beach_ with him of all places.

"We're in the middle of autumn. It's _freezing_." Rachel points out.

"Who said anything about swimming?" Finn asks, "I want to show you something. It'll be fun we drive down, eat some tacos and hotdogs, then drive back. If we leave now you'll be back before it even gets dark."

"You want to drive for four hours, for a _hotdog_?" Rachel asks incredulously.

"It's not the hotdog, but the _adventure_ getting there, stop looking at the finish line and start living in the moment, or else you're just going to spend your entire life waiting for the future and you'll miss the whole fun of getting there."

Rachel giggles whole heartedly at his words, "You just mixed up a whole bunch of inspirational quotes."

"You know what I meant right?" Finn asks offhandedly, "So are we going or what?"

"Finn...I don't..." Rachel bites her lip in thought, but then his pleading look seems to do her in and she sigh, "You promise we'll be back before sunset?"

Finn grins in triumphant, "I promise. Remember to dress warmly! And don't even think about bringing a book for the ride. You're keeping me company."

Rachel laughs wholeheartedly but nods and quickly scurries off to change into something warm, before the doubt starts to overtake her. She can't believe she's even doing this, ditching school, going off with some boy she barely knows.

Santana would be proud of her.

* * *

><p>"So how long have you been in a band?" Rachel asks curiously as she shifts to face Finn, they'd been on the road for about an hour now, Finn's truck slowly moving through the open road. Despite the heater being on in the truck, she's still feeling a bit chilly so she has an old blanket of Finn's wrapped around her as they drive along.<p>

"Since I was sixteen, but we never really went "official" till three years ago." Finn says, he takes his eyes off the road and sends her a smile, "I'm 22 by the way, you can tell your friend I'm not a "frat" boy."

Rachel giggles," Trust me, that's a _nice_ nickname, I tell her that and you'll get something even worse."

"Well isn't she _delightful_." Finn says dryly, "Anyway, after high school my parents told me either I go to college or I work in the coffee house I did that for a year, just to get them off my back. But then my best friend Puck found out his girlfriend was having a baby and he needed a way to make some extra cash. We started to do some gigs at the local clubs, the money was good, especially when we started getting asked to perform at private parties, after a while, I just took over managing the band and stuff. Been doing it ever since."

"You started all this because you wanted to help out your friend?" Rachel asks in awe.

Finn shrugs slightly embarrassed, "Well, yes and no. We always talked about doing that, I'm the one the writes most of the songs anyway and it was an enough reason to start. I've always loved music, my mom introduced me to the old 80s numbers since I was young. When it was just the two of us, music was just always part of our lives something that just stuck with us, our love for music. Then she met Burt, when I was sixteen, his son Kurt, he introduced me to a whole other side of music as well. Showtunes, musicals, classic, you name it and Kurt listened to it. I'll probably never listen to them like he does, but he says at least I can "appreciate" them."

Rachel giggles as Finn makes the quotation makes with his fingers and looks across at her with an exasperated expression as he talks about his brother, but despite his expression his voice alone shows the deep affection he has for his brother, "That's nice."

Finn chuckles, "Ha. That's a word I rarely use about Kurt...okay no he's a little crazy, but he's my brother you know? Do you have any siblings?"

Rachel shakes her head, then remembers he can't see her, "Nope, it's all been just me and my dads. I have Santana too. She's been my best friend since high school."

"She seems like the one that if you don't have her on your side you're fucking screwed."

"Yea pretty much." Rachel says with a giggle, her best friend is pretty scary, even to her sometimes,"So did you always write music?"

"No, but when my mom remarried, I didn't deal with it very well. It's always been me and my mom, my dad left when I was a baby, so I grew up just relying on my mom, there weren't any other men in my mother's life. _I_ was the only one, then suddenly at fifteen she's introducing me to this guy, and at the time it felt like she was replacing me, I was no longer the only person in her life and then Kurt came and he and my mom hit it off, I got jealous, angry you know all that stuff. So I wrote, it helped me deal with my issues, and old wounds about my dad abandoning us seem to reopen, so writing about all that was my outlet, I guess.

My friend Artie plays the piano and guitar he composes music and stuff all the time, he found my stuff one day and told me we should make it into a song, and we did. Then Puck thought being a band would be cool and a total chick magnet. So we did that the three of us. Kurt wasn't so into the band thing, he said he was preserving his voice for bigger better things."

Rachel laughs whole heartedly at Finn's interpretation of his brother, his voice going all high pitched and authoritative, "You said he studied theatre? Does he plan on moving to LA or something?"

Finn chuckles, "New York actually, after he gets his degree, he'd be offended that you would even _think_ LA is where you go for theatre. I should introduce you to him; he'd have a field day with you. He _loves_ informing people who don't know about theatre that its more than just about singing and dancing."

Rachel chuckles, "I think I'd offend him in my _lack_ of knowledge of music."

"You don't like music?" Finn asks incredulously, "But every time I see you, you have your iPhone with you, earphones in your ears."

"I love music." Rachel corrects as sits up trying to explain to him, that even though she doesn't see music like he does, she still appreciates it, "I listen to most of the current music, if I hear a song on the radio and I like it, I'll go and buy it on iTunes. But to say music _changed_ me like it does for you? It doesn't. Don't get me wrong there are some songs that I relate to in more ways than one, albums that helped me get through things, but I guess music has just never been so important to me."

"Do you sing?"

"Does, doing it in the shower, count?" Rachel asks with an embarrassed grin.

Finn smirks at her suggestively, "Baby, doing it in the shower will _always_ count."

"_Finn!_" Rachel gasps appalled as Finn chuckles besides her, turning his attention back to the road, "Don't be so crass!"

"But it was so easy." Finn says throwing her a grin.

"Just drive."

* * *

><p>"So totally worth it?" Finn asks with an amused grin as he plops back onto the sand, a hotdog in his hand.<p>

Rachel's only response is to moan in appreciation, as she takes another bite, not even caring about the noises she is making, cause this is the best hotdog she's ever tasted. She loves food, more than its probably considered healthy, but with her schedule, studying rules her life, so the things she chooses to indulge in besides having a well thought out and daily work out, that is, is her diet. She splurges from time to time, 'cause it seems like the only thing she can enjoy.

Santana says she needs to get out more, but she's worked all her life, geared towards getting into medical school. Now that she's only a few handful of credits away from achieving her dreams she can't let other things distract her, Sam alone use to be a challenge, but when _he_ got into medical school, they were both so busy, she's pretty sure all the time they spent together was spent studying. Which thinking about it now, she realizes how pathetic that sounds.

Anyway, food is the one indulgence she allows herself, along with a good book from time to time. She looks across at Finn, to see that he's not eating his own hot dog but watching her with an amused grin.

"What?" She asks defensively, but despite her tone she smiles sheepishly at him, after she swallows her last bite, daintily wiping the corner of her mouth with her napkin, "You brought us here for hotdogs. I was enjoying the hotdog."

Finn chuckles, "Yea I saw, I almost asked if you wanted some alone time."

Rachel gapes at him incredulously, no doubt catching his intentional innuendo, but before she could reprimand him for his words, he grabs her wrist, "Sorry, but in all seriousness. I like seeing you this carefree. It looks good on you."

Rachel smiles sheepishly, as she digs her bare toes in the sand, washing as it falls away to the side as she repeats the movement, "Thank you for bringing me here. I've been so focused, driven by my dreams and determination to do well, in order to ace my MCATs and get into a good medical school I forget sometimes that I just need to relax. Make sometime for myself that doesn't include things like eating or sleeping. At the same time I can't lose focus, I'm too close to my dreams to get distracted."

She bites her lip, watching as Finn nods no doubt understanding the meaning behind her words. Her reason for not wanting to get involved with anyone. He doesn't need to know about Sam and those wounds she's still trying to heal.

Finn takes a bite of his hotdog, "When did you know you wanted to be a doctor?"

Rachel bites her lip in thought as she looks out at the ocean, the sea breeze stinging her face, "Since I was 15, I think? My Papa is a neurosurgeon, and my dad a nurse. I grew up in hospitals, it's all I know so I guess its natural that's what I wanted to do. It's all I know really, all I ever strived to become."

"Not many people can say they knew what they wanted to do with the rest of their lives at the age of 15." Finn says thoughtfully, "I'm sure it's comforting to know. I still don't know. All I know is I love music and want to continue doing it, but I'm not naive to think it would go places."

"Why would you say that?" Rachel asks, as she turns to face him, shivering slightly as a strong gust of wind suddenly passes, "Your music is amazing. You should be more confident in your abilities."

"I told you, you should have brought the blanket out of the car." Finn says teasingly, pointedly ignoring her question, as he tugs his hoodie over his head and pulls it down over her own and tucking her hair into it as he smiles warmly at her.

"But aren't you cold?" Rachel asks, breathing in the soft smell of Finn's cologne and the way the large hoodie completely cocoons her.

"I'm fine, you're like the tiniest person I've ever met." Finn says with a smile, "besides I can't let you get pneumonia or something, then you'd never come back with me."

Rachel chuckles softly, "Yea, I've got mid terms coming up, if you got me sick I'd _never_ forgive you."

"I'm pretty sure you'd get your crazy soon to be lawyer roommate find a way to sue me or something." Finn jokes.

"Oh no, Santana would drag your butt into our apartment and make _you_ deal with me. She doesn't _do_ sick people."

"Who would want to do a sick person anyway?" Finn retorts teasingly.

"Finn."

"Come on, you make them too easy." Finn protests poking her leg which is almost completely covered by his hoodie.

"You've got the mind of a 14 year old." Rachel says exasperated.

"Not the body though." Finn points out wiggling his eyebrows at her, he laughs wholeheartedly at her less than amused expression and moves closer to her, "Sorry. I'll stop."

"No you won't." Rachel says as she laughs lightly as she shakes her head at his childlike antics, she takes a deep breath, breathing in the salty air as she tugs the sleeve of Finn's shirt to get his attention, "Thank you, for making me come out here with you."

Finn smiles at her, as he inches closer towards her, "I'm glad you came."

They exchange shy smiles, as Finn places his hand on her knee, and she watches transfixed as he slowly begins to lean towards her, but just before their lips meet, she finds her voice, "Finn. I can't."

Finn sighs as he pulls away, his hand still on her knee, rubbing small circles on the soft material of her jeans, before he catches himself and moves it, along with putting distance between them, "I know. I'm sorry. I know what you said, and I respect that."

"You said yourself you weren't looking for anything, right." Rachel says, not sure if she's asking or telling him.

"Right." Finn echoes, as he digs the heel of his foot into the sand, avoiding making eye contact with ehr as he speaks, "You're right...I brought you out here as a friend, you know to get to know you better and to just to get you to relax a bit."

Rachel smiles at his words, squeezing his hand, as he turns to look at her with a smile that doesn't quite reach his eyes, "Well mission accomplished. I think I really needed this."

"Anytime Rachel."

* * *

><p><strong>Hope it was worth the wait :)<strong>**_  
><em>**

**Reviews are love ;)**


	5. Chapter 5

**So sorry for the long wait, I'm hoping with the hiatus I'll be able to update more regularly now :)**

**Thank you all for the reviews and the words of encouragement **

* * *

><p>The next few weeks fly by and Rachel finds herself, either studying or spending time with Finn. She doesn't see Santana for a few days in a row, because of their schedules and Santana and the dancer, Brittany are now dating as well and the blonde has her own apartment, so naturally Santana is there all the time.<p>

But oddly enough both girls are home today, Rachel is sitting in her sweats eating some ice cream, with a Chem book on her lap, when Santana comes out of her room, dressed in jeans and a long sleeve shirt, her coat over her arm. To Rachel's utter surprise Santana takes the ice cream and her text book and then yanks Rachel to her feet.

"C'mon we're going shopping."

"San, I'm trying to study." Rachel protests as the other girl ushers Rachel to her room, "Why do I need to go shopping with you anyway?"

"It's Britt's and I one month anniversary. She's making dinner and all that crap so I thought the least I could do is buy something sexy for her."

"I really don't see the point of lingerie if she's going to just take it off of you." Rachel says with exasperation, gasping when Santana takes up one of her throw pillows and slaps Rachel in the face, "Santana!"

"I was hoping to slap the stupid out of you; because that was the _stupidest_ thing you have ever said to me." Santana says seriously, "I mean I'm _this_ close to disowning you as a friend."

Rachel rolls her eyes as she grabs a pair of jeans from her closet, neatly hanging on a hanger with the rest of her clothes, "Isn't she just going to take them off anyway?"

"I'm not listening to you anymore." Santana says, throwing a shirt at Rachel as she changes, "I'm buying you something and maybe _Finn_ can change your mind."

"What? Why?" Rachel stutters as she slips a sweater over her head, "I told you Finn and I are just friends."

Santana scoffs as both girls make their way into the living room grabbing their respective handbags and coats, "Rach, you and I are _just_ friends. You can't be _friends_ with the best you ever had. Although seeing as he is being compared to _trouty mouth_ of all people. There really isn't much competition to begin with."

"Santana." Rachel calls out exasperated as she grabs her keys off the small table by the front door, "We are not discussing Sam."

"You're right." Santana says thoughtfully, "We're talking about why on earth you've been hanging around the frat boy for _weeks_ now and have not tap that yet."

"Santana!" Rachel hisses, her cheeks flaming as their neighbour, a short geeky guy with large curls, looks at her with wide eyes, no doubt having the tail end of Santana's comment.

"Walk away jewfro." Santana hisses at the boy, making him recoil, "Don't be sticking that honker where it doesn't belong, or else I'll show you where you can stick it."

Rachel shakes her head in disbelief as the boy scrambles into his apartment without another word, when she looks across at Santana, the other girl just shrugs, "What? Those innocent looking little fuckers are the ones who probably have web cams set up in our bedrooms or something. _Never_ trust the geeks Rachel."

Rachel rolls her eyes not bothering to comment because this is a conversation they've had numerous times. "Could you at least stop scaring him? What if we had an emergency and we needed out neighbours help? He would not be so inclined if you scare him all the time."

"Good. I rather ask old Mrs. Pepper to help us than that perv. He's always mentally undressing you when he sees you."

Both girls shudder at the thought, the creepy little man in the opposite apartment did have an _unhealthy_ obsession with Rachel, but he use to keep his distance because of Sam and well Santana is just scary on her own. Rachel shakes her head and follows her best friend down the corridor as she tries and thinks but a legit excuse to get out of shopping.

* * *

><p>Two hours later, Rachel is standing in Victoria's Secret just about ready to slap her best friend silly. She thought that Santana would be in the<em> naughtier<em> section of the store, so she said she need to get some new bras and underwear, _simple_ and comfortable ones, in hopes that Santana would go to the back of the store and leave her be. But Santana would have none of that, and is currently standing next to Rachel, _drilling_ her about Rachel's relationship with Finn.

"I don't understand." Santana says deadpan, as she holds up a boyshorts with the words 'Kiss My' on the back and then 'berry' on the front, "You should wear this for Finn."

Rachel rolls her eyes taking the hanger from Santana and putting it back on the rack, "Finn and I are _friends_ it's not that hard to understand."

"Why?" Santana asks in exasperation, "You're hot and he's hot, I mean if you're into penises, which you are and..."

"_San_." Rachel hisses as she glances over at two teenagers who are a few feet away giggling.

Santana rolls her eyes as she starts going through a rack of sensible thongs and pulls out a few, "We're in an _underwear_ store Rachel, sex is the reason most people are even in here. Now stop with the stalling."

"I'm not stalling." Rachel protests weakly as she shakes her head as Santana holds up a red lacy thong from another section, she's about to continue when Santana switches the red lace for a pink one, and Rachel bites her lip as she looks at underwear. She does like pink and Santana grins throwing it into the little basket they have been sharing and picks up a few more.

"Santana, what are you..." Rachel sighs as she follows Santana around, "Why do I even bother?"

"I really don't know, you can safe us both the trouble, we both know I'm going to get my way." Santana says breezily, "Now come with me to choose something for Britts."

Rachel shakes her head but follows her friend anyway knowing she'll just be sitting on one of the sofas while Santana tries on a million different outfits. She's just about to pull out her Kindle that has some MCAT practice questions on it when Santana yanks the Kindle out of her grasp.

"You need to stop doing that." Rachel says with a huff knowing it will be going on deaf ears, and she watches as Santana slips the electronic book into _her_ handbag and tugs Rachel to her feet.

"You're choosing something too." Santana says matter-of-factly not leaving any room for argument, "You have the hots for Finn right?"

"I told you Finn is my friend,"

"Yes, yes but we know that the frat boy makes your lady parts tingle."

"_Santana"_ Rachel splutters her cheeks flaming, but Santana simply gives her a pointed look, and Rachel sighs, she _hates_ that her best friend knows her so well, "Okay fine. He's hot alright? Like last week we went running and he took his shirt off and he's like _huge_."

Santana snickers, "There is more to a guy than his penis Rachel."

"He's not the most muscular guy, but his back and shoulders, you can just..." Rachel sighs, pointedly ignoring Santana's rude remark, "He's a drummer and like you can just tell from his forearms. He gives great hugs too."

"Oh My God." Santana gasps slapping Rachel on the arm, "You're falling for him!"

"I am _not_." Rachel protests, "I was talking about how hot he is, isn't that what you asked?"

"Ray, you were telling me how he gives amazing hugs, soon you were going to tell me how he makes you laugh..."

"He is hilarious though." Rachel says, her eyes lighting up when she remembers a particular story Finn told her, "Actually she was telling the story about how he helped his brother out in high school and he dressed up as Lady Gaga and...why are you looking at me like that?"

"You've got it _bad_." Santana says with a shake of her head as she grabs two teddies and an another bra and panty set complete with garters.

"_No_. He's just my friend." Rachel says with exasperation, she bites her lip, "It can't be...I can't...we agreed not to."

Santana sighs as she lays out the outfits on the sofa and goes to pull Rachel in a sideways hug, "Look, I know Sam did a number on you and you're not ready for anything, but you're having fun with Finn right?"

Rachel nods, "Yea, it's nice just being friends and getting to know someone and not having any expectations."

"Personally I think, if you two already slept with each other _and_ set the boundaries on your friendship I don't see how sex would change it since you know, you guys already did it." Santana says holding up a hand when Rachel starts to protest, "But the guy seems good for you, so I'll respect what you choose."

"Thank you."

Santana grins as she grabs the baby pink teddy which is a slightly sheer material with lacy cups and a little bow at the middle, the whole thing doesn't seem at all like Santana and Rachel is just about to veto that one when Santana shoves it into her hands, "Go try this on."

"What?" Rachel asks in surprise refusing to allow Santana to usher her to the changing room, "You _just_ told me you are respecting my decision to be friends with Finn."

"I am, but that doesn't mean I'm not going to stop convincing you that friends with _benefits_ will be good for both of you. Who knows you try this on, and you'll _want_ to show Finn."

"Santana I'm not going to go hang out with Finn dress in a _teddy_." Rachel says exasperated as she tries to put it back, but Santana won't have that.

"Just try it on. You don't even have to show me."

"All my breasts would be showing, even if I did try it on, I wasn't _showing_ you."

"Oh don't flatter yourself Ray, your boobs aren't that big and they just don't do it for me." Santana says breezily as she grabs Rachel's arms and moves her to the changing room.

"If I go would you shut up about it?" Rachel asks knowing that Santana's jab was meant to piss her off, and she hates that she's even caving on this.

"Yes and if you think for a minute you're gonna pretend to try it on I'll come in there with you." Santana says just as she shoves Rachel in the dressing room and shoves the curtains closed.

Rachel sighs, knowing full well that her best friend was _not_ bluffing; she hangs up the delicate material on one of the hooks and slowly begins to undress. She picks up the teddy and examines it hating her best friend for knowing her so well, the teddy is sexy but it's still modest enough for Rachel. Despite her better judgement she slips it on and twirls around in it, it covers just enough that its modest but still leaves little to the imagination, the curves of her ass just peaking out and Rachel can see the outline of her boyshorts and she knows that wearing underwear is not an option in this teddy.

Rachel cheeks flame as her thoughts immediately go to Finn and what he would think about this. No Finn is her _friend_. The same friend she flirts constantly with _and_ still has vivid dreams of their night together, _often_. For a brief moment she toys with the idea, maybe Santana is right.

"Berry? If you don't answer me I'm coming in there!"

Rachel shakes her head, who is she kidding, Santana is just trying to get a rise out of her.

* * *

><p>"And you're sure they won't mind?" Rachel asks again as she follows Finn up the familiar route to his apartment, but instead of going through the front door, they move along the side of the small building to the back where Finn has band practice.<p>

She's been to Finn's house a total of two times since that first night, they've basically hung out by the coffee shop, scene a few movies, had dinner once or twice or went running together with Elphie a few times. She's yet to meet Finn's brother or his band mates, that is until now.

"You worry too much Rach." Finn says with a laugh as he squeezes her shoulders, "We're a _band_ of course we'll be okay with an audience. They'll be more offended if you _actually_ pull out MCAT practice book I know you have in that _huge_ bag of yours."

Rachel bites her lip and spins around to face him as they continue to walk to the back of the apartment, her walking backwards, "You never know Mr. Hudson I might just have something here to "jam" out with you boys."

Finn laughs, "Really? And what musical instrument could you possibly have in there? You're iPhone doesn't count."

"Rude!" Rachel says pointing a finger at him, "I'll have you know I could have...I know... _maracas_ in my bag."

"_Maracas_?" Finn repeats incredulously his eyes lighting up in merit as he bites back a smile.

"_Yes_, hey for all you know I could be a _whiz_ with maracas." Rachel says stubbornly, both of them knowing she's probably never even _seen_ one.

"Oh yea Rach, I'm sure you can really _shake_ your stuff." Finn says wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

She surprises not only Finn but herself as well, when she comes to a halt, so their toes are almost touching as she smiles up at him seductively, "I can show you just how much I can."

She bites her lip when Finn eyes widen in surprise, but takes it in stride and takes a step even closer to her, so that her nose is almost touching his chest as he looks down at her, "I seem to remember you were particularly good at..."

"Finn!"

A voice calls out breaking them out of their spell and Rachel immediately takes a step back, bowing her head so her hair falls in front of her face, hiding her red cheeks. She can't believe she even did that, she was _coming _on to Finn. She looks up just as a built tanned man no older than Finn, came out of the room, dressed in faded blue jeans and a black ACDC t-shirt, on seeing Rachel his eyes light up with mischief.

"Why hello, and who might you be?" He asks laying the charm on thick, his lips turning up into a smirk, but before he can take a step towards Rachel, Finn punches his friend in his shoulder, stopping the other man in his tracks.

Rachel gapes glaring at Finn, but Finn friend laughs wholeheartedly, not at all deterred by Finn, "You punch like a girl Hudson. Besides we know there is only one girl for the Puckerone."

Rachel smiles, cause immediately she knows this is Finn's best friend Puck he's talked about before, and before she can introduce herself a small squeal is heard and she watches as a little girl no older than three latches onto Pucks' leg, her blond curls bouncing as she peaks behind Puck's leg to look at Rachel curiously.

"Daddy, who's da lady?" She asks, her bright blue eyes trained on Rachel.

Puck and Finn chuckle as Puck pulls the little girl from behind him and perches her on his hip, as she buries her head into Puck's shoulder.

"This is Rachel, Uncle's Finn friend." Finn says with a smile patting down the little girls curls, he looks at Rachel with a reassuring smile.

"You gotta get an Amy-Lynn approval before you can come in." Puck tells Rachel seriously and looking down at Amy who is now looking at Rachel closely, "Isn't that right Ames?"

Rachel smiles and walks up to the little girl holding out her hand to the toddler, "Hi, my name is Rachel Berry, nice to meet you Amy-Lynn Puckerman."

Immediately the little girl eyes widen, and looks at her father, "Daddy, her knows my _full _name!"

The three adults laugh wholeheartedly as Amy looks at Rachel brightly and Puck continues, "She does munchkin, Uncle Finn says she's _really_ smart. She's gonna be a doctor."

"Wow."

Rachel laughs as Puck turns around and gestures them to come in. Finn places his hand on Rachel's back and ushers her into the relatively big place, where they have all the equipment set up. The drums in the back a microphone to the centre and there is the guitarist, Artie in his wheelchair as he fiddles with his guitar on his lap. She looks around confused when she realizes their lead singer, the short curly haired man is missing.

"Where's Blaine?" Finn asks in confusion as he walks up to Artie slapping him on the back, and gesturing to Rachel to come over."Artie, this is Rachel."

"You're _brother_ is holding Blaine by the _nose_ again." Puck says with annoyance, and judging by the snort coming from Artie, Rachel has a _strong_ feeling that word was replaced by a more kid friendly word.

Rachel goes to take a seat on one of the stools after shaking Arties hand in greeting and looks on in amusement as Finn rolls his eyes, "Are they _upstairs_. When Amy's _here_?"

"Are Uncle Kurt and Uncle Blaine playing?" Amy asks innocently

Artie immediately starts to cough, hiding his laughter, but one look from Puck and the other boy sobers up immediately and goes back to his guitar. Puck shakes his head putting Amy by her small bit of toys in the corner of the room.

"No he's been on the phone with Kurt for two hours, what's got Hummel's panties in a twist? He _knows_ Thursday afternoons we practice." Puck says in exasperation, "Its bad enough, the sitter bailed on me and I have to bring Amy here. If he was going to spend the whole time on the phone, whispering sweet nothings to Hummel, I can go home and spend some real time with my kid."

"Okay, okay. I'll talk to him. Where is he in the apartment?" When Puck nods, Finn looks at Rachel apologetically and goes up a few flight of stairs at the end of the room which Rachel realizes connects to Finn and Kurt's apartment.

Rachel looks at Artie and Puck, none of them speaking and Rachel is just about to try and break the uncomfortable silence when she feels a poke on her knee she looks down to see Amy looking up at her, "Aunt Rachel, do you want to play with my dolls?"

Rachel looks across at Puck startled at the name, Puck chuckles lightly, "My mother drilled it in her about being polite, she calls all adults Aunt and Uncle."

Rachel nods and allows the little girl to pull her to the play area, this is certainly not how she expected her Thursday afternoon to go. But, when the little girl giggles loudly at Rachel's voices for some of the doll, Rachel can't help but think it's not a bad way to spend her evening at all.

* * *

><p>Finn was able to sort out the problem faster than she expected and soon all the boys where deep into practice. She and Amy cheered for them after every song and the boys even did some requests of Amy's and Rachel can tell that this was not the first time the three year old took over band practice. It's amusing to see a little girl have these four grown men wrapped around her finger like that. It's clear that they all think of Amy as their own, and Rachel knows Amy's mother is no longer in the picture and its clear all the boys automatically just helped Puck no questions asked. It's admirable really.<p>

Their little special guest as Artie refers Amy as, also shows Rachel a new side to Finn that Rachel has never seen before and she realizes she _really_ likes this side of Finn.

"Okay last song for the night, is for our _other_ guest." Finn says sending Rachel a grin as Amy sits on her lap clapping excitedly, obviously she thinks he's talking to her.

The little girl has been yawning constantly for the past 30 minutes but refused to leave when her father suggested it.

"Mickey Mouse Club House. Uncle Finn!" Amy cheers excitedly, Rachel bites her lip to hold back her laughter when she sees Artie head drop, the boys have been playing songs at Amy's request for the last half an hour in hopes to get the toddler to sleep but no such luck, "Hot dog hot diggie dee dog!"

"No munchkin, its Aunt Rachel's turn to choose a song." Puck says, but winces when Amy slides off of Rachel's lap and stomps her foot.

"It's my turn Daddy!"

"Amy-Lynn." Puck says sternly walking around the keyboard to his daughter who is now sitting on the floor screaming that she wants a song.

Rachel looks on in fright, "Why don't you guys just sing her song."

"No, she's being a spoiled brat." Puck says with a sigh scooping up the screaming toddler, not even deterred by the screams in his ear, "She's tired, cranky and being mean. But that doesn't mean she should get her way. Apologize to Rachel."

"No!" Amy says stubbornly burying her head in Puck's shoulder, her tiny hand gripping his shirt as she sobs.

Puck rolls his eyes and looks over at Finn , "Sorry Hud, but looks like I'm out."

Finn laughs as he slips his drumsticks into his pocket, going up to them and rubbing Amy's back, who just continues to mutters about wanting Mickey Mouse, "No problem. See you later Ames."

"Puck's my ride home." Artie says as he puts down the guitar and wheels over to them,

"Oh right, dude sorry to bail on you to clean up." Puck says as he shifts Amy to his next arm to grab her bag.

"It's okay, Blaine and I will be fine." Finn says brushing it off, he looks across at Blaine who has his phone in his hand looking at him apologetically. Finn rolls his eyes, "Let me guess Kurt's having another panic attack?"

Blaine sighs, "Yes he and the girl who is playing opposite him had _another_ blow out again. She's threatening to _burn_ holes in his Alexander McQueen jacket with her cigarette . I gotta go or else I may be bailing him out of jail."

Finn rolls his eyes as Artie and Puck laugh, "Hummel has worse PMS than some of the women I know and I know some real B.I.T.C.H.E.S"

Rachel gasps at his words, "Actually PMS stands for Pre..."

But before she can finish Artie puts his fingers in his ears and starts singing loudly, "No, no. No. Don't need to hear it."

Rachel looks across at Finn incredulously who just puts a hand on her shoulder and chuckles, "Let it go."

Rachel huffs but says goodbye to the boys nonetheless and Amy who is already dozing off in her father's arms much to Rachel's surprise.

Once it's just her and Finn she smiles at him, "I can help you pack up."

Finn grins, "Don't you want your song?"

Rachel looks at him in confusion, "But the guys just left."

"So? Can't I sing for you?" Finn asks in amusement as he tucks a loose strand of hair behind her ear, "Or do you only want to hear Blaine sing?

Rachel rolls her eyes, slapping him on the chest lightly, "You know that's not true. Are you going to sing a Finn Hudson original for me?"

Finn bites his lip in thought, as he ushers her to the seat "Not _yet_. I have one that is currently in the works, but in the mean time I _think_ you'll like this song."

Rachel giggles as he rolls the stool in front of the drums and she sits up in attention as Finn goes on the other side of the drums, the last time she saw him play the drums was at the club. Finn sends her a wink as he slowly begins beating the drums to an all too familiar rhythm, and Rachel's cheeks flame as he begins to sing, she knows the lyrics to this song by heart. After all Finn heard this song off of _her_ iTunes.

_I really, I really, whoa__  
>I really need to know<br>I really, I really, whoa  
>Or else, you gotta let me go, oh<br>I really, I really_

_This time I really need to do things right  
>Shivers that you give me keep me freezing all night<em>

_You make me shudder, oh yeah  
>I can't believe it, I'm not myself,<br>Suddenly I'm thinkin' about no one else  
>You make me shudder<em>

Rachel feels her body involuntary _shudder_ at the sound of his voice. The way his bicep curls as the drumsticks hit the drums repeatedly. She watches transfixed as the sweat runs down the side of his face, she licks her lips as their eyes meet and she can't pull away if she tried as Finn continues to sing.

_You're just a fantasy girl__  
>It's an impossible world<br>All I want is to be with you always  
>I give you everything<br>Pay some attention to me  
>All I want is just you and me always<em>

_Give me affection  
>I need your perfection<br>Cause you feel so good  
>You make me stutter, stutter, stutter<em>

Rachel's body heats up as she listens to the lyrics and the way that Finn's eyes is boring into her and she wonders yet again if Santana has a point and she can't believe she's even thinking about this just as Finn finishes last of the song. She claps excitedly, her cheeks flushed as she walks up to him.

"I loved it." She says trying to keep her emotions at bay, she can't be possibly considering this. She's not that kind of girl.

Finn grins wiping his sweaty brow as he tugs her towards him, so that she walks around the drums to stand in front of him, standing between his parted legs. She can see his chest is still heaving as he tries to control his breathing. His hand resting on her upper thighs, making small circles as he smiles up at her.

"You okay? You look a little flushed." He says softly, because he's sitting on the stool they are eye to eye and her breathing hitches when she feels his thumb brush against the small band of skin between the tops of her jeans and her tank top.

"I...you..." she' s not sure what she's saying when Finn cuts her off and kisses her, she moans into the kiss her hands going to his head tugging his hair as she slips her tongue between his lips, sinking into the kiss.

When he pulls back, she looks at him gasping, "Finn...I don't..."

"I know what you said." Finn said between kisses, his fingers moving to the button at the front of her jeans and looking at her for permission, "It doesn't have to mean anything."

Rachel gasps out, when his wet lips connect with her collarbone and she feels his teeth graze against her heated skin, "Okay."

She moans out the word and is already helping him out of his shirt as he makes do with getting her out of her jeans. In no time at all, her shirt, tank top and jeans are all on the floor and she's standing in front of him in only her new little pink lacy thong.

"Fuck." Finn hisses out as his gaze is fixated on her heaving chest, she gasps as Finn lips engulf one of her breasts, his tongue lavishing her nipple till it's hard.

"_Finn_." She moans out, one hand tugging at his hair, while the other one grips his thigh so she can keep her balance, "Finn...oh _god_...wait"

"Yes baby." Finn mutters as he bites down lightly on her harden nipple making her squeal, her nails digging into his thigh, he's still wearing his jeans.

"Finn...Finn..._wait_." She says finally pulling his head away from his chest so that they can both concentrate.

He looks at her his eyes wide and dilated, his fingers losing its hold on her bare hip, "What's wrong?"

"We can't have sex on that stool."

Finn nods and she suddenly squeals when Finn scoops her up and takes her to the old armchair on the other side of the room, their lips firmly attached as she wraps her legs around his waist. They both giggle as he almost trips on the way to the chair but their laughter dies out almost immediately when he falls back on the chair taking him with her and her breasts press firmly against his chest.

They both moan out simultaneously, Rachel gasps as Finn begins to massage one of her breasts, her knees pressed firmly at his side, "_Finn_...I need...I..."

"What do you need Rach?" Finn asks softly kissing along her jawline and down her collarbone.

"_You_." She gasps out when she feels his tongue run along her skin and she moves to unbuckle his belt and then tugging down the zip and she presses her palm down on his hardened cock, making Finn's buckle.

"Baby, wait." Finn gasps pulling away her hand, "Get up so I can take off my pants."

Rachel shakes her head as she kisses him heatedly, "I can't wait."

Finn chuckles but it immediately turns to a hiss when Rachel yanks down his jeans to his mid thigh and doesn't even bother with his boxers, before she has her hands wrapped around his cock, slowly pumping him.

"Fuck Rachel."

Finn hisses out in pleasure, as his hands go to ass and pulls her towards him, he uses one hand to move the material of her thong to the side . Rachel gasps when she feels his fingers brush against her wet folds and he looks at her in awe.

"I told you I loved the song." She says with a seductive grin.

Finn chuckles and is about to slip his finger between her folds but she pulls back shaking her head, "I can't wait Finn."

"Condom?"

"I'm on the pill." She tells him, they both gasp simultaneously as she slides down his shaft and Finn immediately begins to rock his hips upwards.

"Oh god."

Rachel gasps out as she grabs his shoulder to give herself leverage and she starts moving down his shift raising her hips and sinking down again, Finn meeting her with each thrust of his hips.

"Oh...I...oh..shit."

Finn gasps out, she groans when she feels his fingers digging into her ass, pulling her closer to him, her breasts press firmly against his chest, her whole body feeling overly sensitised.

"I'm not gonna last long." Finn gasps out as he pulls her in for a sloppy kiss, both of them too focus on their joint bodies to get into the kiss.

"oh _oh_...I...can't.." Rachel gasps out feeling as her inner muscles clenching around Finn's cock, "_Finn_...I'm not..."

"Let go Rach." Finn says and she pulsates around him, stilling moving just as Finn groans out her name just as he finds release as well.

Neither of them say anything, the only sounds are their ragged breathing, Rachel rests her head against his sweaty chest, as Finn runs his fingers through her hair, Finn's words from earlier about this not meaning anything, finally ringing in her mind.

She hates that her heart clenches at the thought and she's not sure what she just signed up for.


	6. Chapter 6

**One week thats not bad right? LOL. Thank you all for the reviews :)**

* * *

><p>Rachel lets out a low deep moan, just as she collapses on Finn's naked chest, she can hear the sound of his heart hammering against his ribcage. She hears him sigh deeply, as his fingers tug on her hair, their bodies still connected.<p>

This new arrangement seems to be going very well for the both of them. Rachel has never had so much sex in her life and she's enjoying every minute of it. She's never been so _wonton_ for another human being. There is just something about Finn that gets her whole body _buzzing_ with just one look. She can't explain it and for the first time in her life she is _not_ overanalyzing or _thinking_ about what she's doing but just _feeling_.

And boy, does it feel _good_.

She knows at some point this thing they have going on is going to blow up in their faces, she's still not sure that its possible for two people, two _friends _can have this kind of relations and it _not_ mean anything. Sure she cares for Finn he's a great friend (and an _excellent _lover) but beyond that she refuses to allow herself to think about. She's got exams in a few short weeks, so her mind is either occupied with chemical formulas, learning all the muscles within the human body, or _sex_.

Sex with _Finn_ more precisely.

Finn has opened up a new part of her that she never knew existed, he taught her things she never really realized she was missing until she experienced them. With Sam she always thought, that was just the progression of their relationship, they got together, fell in love, naturally sex was part of that equation, and she loved Sam, she knew she did, but after a while things with Sam just started to become a habit, just another part of her life that it was something she knew what she was meant to do, almost like studying she may not like some of the courses she was doing, but she knew in order to get her degree and more importantly do well on the MCATs she needed to do well in those subjects. Her relationship with Sam, was almost the same thing, which Rachel now realized it pretty sad. She worked on that relationship much like she did with those boring subjects; she did what she had to do, or what she was expected to do in order to have the outcome she was supposed to achieve. So they had their weekly dates, their scheduled phone calls, their scheduled _sex_ almost every other week.

Her entire relationship was suddenly categorized and put under a little tab, much like _all_ her courses work and because Sam was pretty much even busier than her, she never thought anything of it.

Till she met Finn, she approached this agreement of theirs, much like she approaches anything she does, with a schedule, she put aside a certain time to factor in spending that kind of time with Finn. That is until Finn surprised her a late Thursday afternoon with some Chinese food and she somehow found herself _naked_ with Finn eating Kung Po Chicken off her body.

That was when she realized this _thing_ they have going on is probably as unpredictable as their first encounter, and she surprised herself the most when she _welcomed_ the spontaneity of it, so much so that _she_ was the one to go to _Finn_ for a change and that happened more than once. That's how she ended up naked in Finn's bedroom on am early Wednesday afternoon.

She puts a hand on the side of his head about to roll off of him, but he snakes his other around her waist, keeping her in place.

"No. Don't move yet." Finn asks softly, still slightly breathless, his hand on his waist slowly moving downwards to cup her left butt cheek, "I thought we were going for lunch?"

Rachel chuckles, slapping his hand away as she slides off of him, her upper body still resting against his own, as she looks up at him thoughtfully, "That _was_ the plan, but then _someone_ decided staying in would be a better use of our time."

Finn grins stupidly at her, tucking a lock of hair that was falling in front of her face, behind her ear, "Are you complaining?"

"Nope." Rachel says with a grin as she slowly sits up, ignoring Finn's groans of protests, "But I told you I have to go to the library for 2 o'clock, it's now 2:15. I'm running late."

Rachel quickly slides off the bed and pads around Finn's room gathering her clothes, pointedly ignoring Finn's tone of disbelief.

"Seriously? Do you have a study group or something?" Finn asks, he's now sitting up looking at her with a frown.

"No, you know I hate studying with other people." Rachel says, as she looks over her shoulder at him, not understanding why he seems so upset, he _knows_ she goes to the library at two o'clock every afternoon since her evening labs ended two weeks ago.

"So then, why can't I take you to lunch, then I'll walk you to the library?"

Rachel sighs as she sits on the bed, pulling up the straps of her bra, before she looks back at Finn, who's now crawling over to her, "I have a sandwich. It's okay, I'll be fine."

"Then why did you come over, if you already packed lunch?" Finn asks his tone almost slightly laden with accusation, which Rachel does not understand, nor does she have the time to figure out.

Rachel slips her head through her sweater, and stands to face the bed, and Finn, her jeans in her hand, "Because you _asked_ me. I just thought I'd have my sandwich for dinner or something. But _you_ were the one that wanted to have sex."

"I didn't _force_ you to have sex with me!" Finn huffs in annoyance, as he gathers the sheet around his waist and swings his legs on the side of the bed looking at Rachel.

"Of course you didn't." Rachel says with a roll of her eyes, not understanding why he's making such a big fuss for. "I was more than willing to participate, we both know that. But _now_ I have to go study."

She finishes zipping up her jeans and looks up at Finn who has an unreadable expression as he watches her get dressed. She smiles at him as she squeezes his knee, passing by to grab her coat that's hanging on the foot of his bed, "I'll see you later?"

Finn suddenly perks up, "I could bring you dinner tonight, you gotta eat some time right?"

Rachel frowns, biting her lip in thought, and Finn's shoulders slump on noticing her expression, "What? Are you going to tell me you packed _dinner_ too?"

"No, it's just I can't give you a time, because I usually just study until I realize I'm hungry, and sometimes that might not be till at least 1 am or something." Rachel says as she gathers her books and bag from on a nearby chair, Finn's guitar perched against it, "I didn't know you could play the guitar too."

"Rachel." Finn calls out exasperated as he slips on his boxers and walks over to her, "You gotta eat. I know exams are stressing you out, but you need to take care of yourself."

"Okay _dad_." Rachel says teasingly looking at some of Finn's open notebooks filled with lyrics and a music notes, things she's never seen before.

But when she sees that Finn is not amused, she sighs, grabbing his wrist, "Don't worry about me so much, I'm a premed student, I know how to take care of myself."

"Isn't there some saying, about doctors making the worst patients or something?"

Rachel giggles patting him on the cheek as she heads to the door, "Good thing I'm not a doctor _yet_ then."

"Rachel."

Rachel sighs, as she comes to a halt at his bedroom door turning to face him, "I'll call you, about dinner okay? But don't _wait_ for me, if you get hungry, just have dinner. I really do have to go now. Lunch was fun."

She sends him a cheeky grin just before she turns around and leaves, not noticing Finn's annoyed expression as she walks off.

* * *

><p>Rachel bobs her head to the sound of Maroon 5's Stutter, that's blasting from her iHome as she chops up some vegetables at the centre isle in the kitchen that separates the living room and kitchen. She's so busy dancing to the beat she doesn't hear the front door open until Santana slams down her folder on the counter top.<p>

"San!" Rachel greets brightly, her cheeks reddening in embarrassment, at being caught _dancing_ of all things, "Hi! How was your day?"

Santana narrows her eyes and looks at Rachel closely, "What did you smoke?"

Rachel huffs through a dish towel at Santana's face, "I'm going to ignore the fact that you're insinuating that I would to intake an _illegal_ substance to be in a good mood."

"Shit, you already got laid for the day? Its 11:00 am!" Santana says impressed as she whistles, "Wow, you got this one well trained."

"He's not a dog Santana!" Rachel says appalled, "He brought me breakfast. I told him I had no classes today and it's just too cold out, so I'm studying at home. He offered to bring me breakfast. It was sweet of him."

"Oh, so he's still here then?" Santana asks glancing at the bathroom door that sits between both their bedrooms.

"Oh, no he left a little while ago, I wanted to get started on some work early." Rachel says easily as she goes back to chopping up her vegetables, popping a piece of tomato into her mouth.

"_Already?_ When did he get here then, the ass crack of dawn? Wait did he spend the night?" Santana says with a teasing grin, stealing one of Rachel's mushrooms.

"He's 6ft 3 Santana, I can't hide a _giant_, our apartment isn't _that_ big."

"Trust me I _know_. You two aren't exactly _quiet_ either." Santana teases, "So what, you just humped him and then dumped him?"

"_What_? No! I _told_ you we had breakfast together then he left. We didn't have sex!" Rachel protests, even though she's lying about the last part, as she lights the stove, pouring in a cup of rice into a pot already filled with water.

"So you're telling me that you are this happy because the guy brought you a _burrito_." Santana asks sarcastically behind her.

Rachel rolls her eyes as she checks on the chicken in the oven she's about to stand back up when suddenly her purple bra is dangling in front her face and Santana calls out smugly behind her, "Lost something?"

"Give me that!" Rachel snaps as she goes to grab it but Santana yanks it before she can.

Rachel turns around to look at her friend who is smirking at her in triumphant, but Rachel just grins back evilly in response as she watches Santana plop onto the couch a few feet away, "You should know, Finn's bare bottom was on that couch."

"Rachel Barbra Berry!" Santana says scandalized as she jumps from the couch her face red, "Ah Dios Mio! We have _rules_ woman! Rules _you_ harped on for _days_ after I brought that biker chick home that _one_ time. And between me and the biker chick and you and the _giant_ we both know who would have the messier sex."

"Santana!" Rachel blanches in disgust at which Santana just snickers.

"Still can't believe you are having hot sex with some random or more like Rachel Berry has her own booty call."

"Finn's not some _random_. He's my friend!" Rachel protests, "Stop calling him a booty call."

"Rachel, he came over and left within two hours. _That's_ a booty call."

Rachel opens her mouth about to protest but frowns when Santana runs into the bathroom, laughing to herself. She doesn't know what her friend is talking about. She and Finn are _friends_ he brought her breakfast for crying out loud, what 'booty call' would do that? She shakes her head ignoring Santana's taunts and goes back to making her lunch, opening her anatomy book that is on the counter.

* * *

><p>"I thought I was supposed to be helping you write?" Rachel says gasping as she feels Finn's stubble graze against her neck, as he leaves a wet trail along her collarbone with his tongue.<p>

She's sitting on his desk, her legs swinging freely as Finn rolls his chair so that he's between her now parted legs. She originally came over to help Finn with some of his song writing, she mentioned she took a poetry class sophomore year and Finn got all excited inviting her to come over and help him _rhyme. _When she asked him if that was supposed to be a pick up line, he coyly told her it could be whatever she wanted it to be. Well that's how she ended sitting in Finn's room helping him compose a song, but before long she got distracted and started running her bare toe up the inseam of Finn's jeans.

She really should not be surprised that she's now leaning against the wall behind Finn's desk, her legs spread and Finn's hands slowly making their way up her legs and under her dress, his nails pulling on the material of her leggings. He's got the first two buttons of her dress already undone and his face buried between her breasts licking and sucking on her round flesh.

"You are helping." Finn murmurs against her skin as he pulls back, and grins at her mischievously as his slowly ascends up her leg, both of them gasping when he reaches the junction between her thighs and his eyes dilate when he feels how she's soaked through her panties _and_ her leggings, "Shit Rachel."

Rachel sighs already rocking her hips against his fingers, trying to create more friction, she looks at him through hooded eyes, her lips slightly parted as she gasps, "You're writing a song about...oh...sex?"

But the conversation comes to a halt as Finn's fingers hook onto her leggings as he pulls them down her toned thighs along with her underwear leaving them gathered at her knees and goes back to the task at hand. Rachel gasps as her bare ass hits the cold wooden of the desk, "Finn! We shouldn't...oh god...oh _yes_...don't stop."

Rachel grips tightens on Finn's shirt, her other hand tugging at his hair as she arches her back, pushing her hips towards him as his tongue does wonders on her body. She feels his tongue _just_ on the right spot and her entire body tenses as she finds her release.

She collapses, boneless against the wall her breathing laboured as she looks down at Finn, who is grinning at her as he wipes his mouth on an old t-shirt he had hanging over his chair. He makes small circles on her knee cap, grabbing her clothes that are still bunched up around her knees.

"Wanna move this to the bed?" He asks, already tugging her leggings and panties off her legs.

Rachel grins as she sits up, smoothing down her dress on her thighs, "What happened to your music?"

Finn smirks as he stands in front of her, his hands going to her waist and hoisting her up and she automatically wraps her legs around him, "I think I'm gonna need some more inspiration."

Rachel laughs wholeheartedly as she leans forward to kiss him, "Well we should do something about that then."

"I like how you think Ms. Berry," Finn mutters against her lips as his hands find their way under her dress and he starts to massage her bare butt.

Rachel groans as she runs her tongue along the shell of his ear, tugging the lobe with her teeth, knowing how much Finn loves that, and sure enough Finn growls at her ministrations, "Finn. Bed. _Now_."

She doesn't have to say it twice, Finn spins them around and she lets a loud squeak when he throws her onto the bed, she giggles as Finn tugs off his shirt as he crawls onto the bed to join her. Her crawls over her body, her dress riding up and she can feel the rough material of his jeans against her inner thigh, "Hi."

"Hi." Finn says with a smile, lowering his head to hers, and just as their lips graze a loud voice rings out through the apartment.

"Finn, you here?" Puck calls out from the living room.

Both Finn and Rachel groan in annoyance, Rachel looks up at Finn with a smile, "Think if we stay quiet enough he'd think you're not here?"

Finn chuckles as he places a chaste kiss on her lips, "My car is parked in the front."

Rachel pouts but when a loud bang resonates against the bedroom door, her eyes widen in surprise, even more so by the voice that followed it.

"Uncle Finn! Why is your door lock?" Amy calls out, as she repeatedly slaps the bedroom door, jiggling the door handle as well.

"Oh crap." Finn says as he scrambles off his bed and tugging on his abandon t-shirt.

When Rachel sees he's going to the door she blanches in horror, "Finn! I don't have on any underwear!"

Finn rolls his eyes and grabs her clothes throwing it at her, Rachel quickly gets her panties and slipping them on, knowing she doesn't have time to put on her leggings, once she's somewhat presentable, Finn opens the door.

"Uncle Finn!"

Amy comes ploughing through screaming at the top of her lungs and running straight for the bed, but she halts in her spot on seeing Rachel sitting on the bed, "Aunt Rachel, did you and Uncle Finn have a sleepover?"

Rachel eyes widen as she looks across at Finn, who is biting his lip in amusement, but before Rachel could respond Amy is yelling again this time for her father, "Daddy! Aunt Rachel is here!"

"Dude, what the hell? If you got business going on, don't open the damn door for my daughter." Puck says angrily as he walks into the room a sandwich in his hand and already bitten into.

"Seriously? That's my lunch dude." Finn says looking at the sandwich forlornly, "And why didn't _you_ stop her, not that Rach and I were in _business_ yet anyway."

Rachel groans as she listens to the two men talk in code, her cheeks flaming as Puck says he thought Finn was sleeping and hoped Amy would wake Finn up.

"Blaine called, he said his mom cancelled on him, so practice is back on. He's picking up Artie and they should be here soon." Puck says in between bites, he looks across at Rachel, "You gotta hold off on my boy for a few more hours doc."

"_Puck_." Finn growls at his best friend as he looks across at Rachel apologetically.

Rachel cheeks flame, she's not sure to what extent that Puck knows about her and Finn's arrangement, but she also knows Puck is Finn's best friend, and _her_ best friend knows about it, so she shouldn't really be surprised that the other boy knows all about it, and Rachel isn't sure how she feels about that even though it would be hypocritical of her.

She slides off the bed, cursing her short dress as she tries and tug it down a little more, it's not exactly the thing you wear alone on the brink of the winter season and Puck notices immediately, he looks up and down her bare legs and then looks at Finn with a smirk.

"I guess _some_ business happened today."

Finn glares at Puck, grabbing the sandwich from his friend's hand, he then looks across at Amy who is currently playing with one of Finn's Xbox controller, "Ames? You left Princess Penny in the studio last week, why don't you let Daddy take you?"

"I _told_ you she was here Daddy!" Amy says dropping the controller, "And you told me she flew away!"

Rachel bites her lip in amusement as Amy takes Pucks hand dragging him out of the room, still reprimanding her father, once she hears the door to the stairs close she grabs her leggings looking at Finn who's just watching her with a smile on his face, "What?"

Finn's cheeks redden, "Nothing."

Rachel frowns but shakes it off as she slips on her leggings and puts her messy hair up in one. She eyes her scarf hanging on the bed post and quickly wraps it around her neck. She goes to stand up, but Finn is suddenly in front of her already holding on to the scarf.

"Hey, where are you going?"

Rachel laughs, patting his hands away that are trying to undo the scarf as she side steps him to grab her coat, "I'm going to the library. You have practice."

"But I thought you were going to stay for the afternoon?" Finn asks with a frown, "You were going to help me write."

"Yes, but you have practice now and I know you boys don't usually write together, but practice other songs and you have that big event this weekend. I'd just be in the way" Rachel says logically, even though they both know the boys actually enjoy her input and her suggestions, she herself is beginning to appreciate music so much more than she ever did before, since meeting Finn

"I have my first exam soon anyway, so I should be studying. I'll call you okay?"

She smiles at him warmly she's about to place a chaste kiss on his lips, but thinks better of it and squeezes his arm instead. She's beginning to notice that they are doing a lot of 'couple' things like greeting each other with kisses or having goodbye kisses and the lines are starting to get blurry so she can't have that.

* * *

><p>"Hey, why are we walking towards campus?" Finn asks, tugging Rachel to a stop and she guides them to the familiar roundabout that leads directly onto the street where her apartment complex is, "I thought we were heading to my place to watch a movie or something? We haven't done that in <em>ages<em>."

"I know." Rachel says, turning so that she was facing up as she begins to walk backwards tugging him along the semi deserted street, "_But_ Santana texted me, she told me that she is staying with Brittany for the night, so I have the apartment to myself. So I thought we could use it to our advantage."

She stops when she notices the frown that filters across Finn's face, so far for the night he's been slightly standoffish with her ever since the other day, and she'd hope the dinner and movie she treated them too would change that, but it seems like he's upset again and she really doesn't get it. She had her first exam today, which went off without a hitch, thankfully and she wanted to celebrate with Finn, she was hoping a night out would solve it, and so far it has been, till now.

"I kinda wanted you to meet Kurt." Finn says looking down at her sheepishly, the light from the streetlamp casting an eerie glow over them, "We've been seeing...I mean we've been friends for over four months now and you've yet to meet my brother."

"Oh." Rachel says softly, not understanding why it's so important to him, and she's just about to agree when Finn suddenly grabs her hand, tugging her towards him, smiling at her goofily, but the smile not quiet reaching his eyes.

"_But_, you did say you had the place to yourself, _all_ night. Does that mean I can actually stay over?" He asks and she can see that he's truly excited about the notion.

Since they started this thing between them, it was an unspoken rule that they would _not_ stay over, sure he's been at her place more than she's been over at his, but he's never slept over before and Rachel knows that might cross some lines neither of them are ready to cross, but at the same time she has the rest of the week off and she feels like she pulled in every which way with exams, a little break with Finn would do her good, and they really haven't spent much time together outside of the random hook ups for the past few weeks.

"That depends." She says cheekily, tugging him up the street her eyes twinkling, "Do you have your pjs?"

Finn grins patting his pockets under the pretence of checking them for his clothes, "Sorry I seem to have forgotten my pjs home."

Rachel giggles as she stands on the first few steps of her apartment building, she and Finn now at eye level, she pulls Finn in for a kiss and then moves so her breath is tickling his ear, "Good. No pjs are allowed tonight."

Finn growls in response cupping her cheek and pulling her into another deep kiss, his other hand wrapping around her waist, Rachel hums in appreciation as she plays with the short strands of hair at the back of his head as she lets him slip his tongue between her lips. Rachel moves her hands around his waist and growls when she realizes she can't grab his butt with the winter coat in the way.

Finn chuckles against her lips as he pulls back, "How about we take this inside?"

"_Yes_." She says with a sigh and turns around to pull out her keys from her pocket, giggling as Finn peppers small kisses all along her bare neck, "Stop it."

"Hurry up then." He responds cheekily, his tongue now leaving a wet trail against her skin.

By the time they finally make into her apartment, Finn already has her coat open and the zipper of her jeans undone, his large fingers cant slip under the tight confines of her jeans so he's simply rubbing her through the jeans. Finn has Rachel pressed up against the door, and he's working on the buttons of her shirt as he kisses her heatedly. When he sees the purple tank top under the shirt he frowns. Rachel giggles at his expression.

"Blame the weather, I needed layers." She says between kisses.

Finn growls again but takes a step, their hands still linked, "Well it's time to get rid of these layers."

They both hurriedly start pulling off their coats and shirts until, she's in her tank top and a little white cotton panties with a the writing 'Kiss My Berry' (Of course Santana would find the sexier version of the other one and bought it for Rachel). Finn chucks his jeans onto the armchair with the rest of their clothes on seeing Rachel's panties he laughs.

"Cute."

"Santana thought it was a nice play on words." Rachel says with a roll of her eyes.

Finn grins as he wraps an arm around her waist pulling her to him, his hands going to cup her bare butt, "Well I plan on more than just _kissing_ this Berry."

Rachel giggles as she pulls him down for a kiss, "You can be so cheesy."

Finn only deepens the kiss and ushers her back to the couch, he grips the bottom of her tank top and pulls it over her head, licking his lips at the white lacy bra, but as he crawls on top of her and her head his the armrest of the couch she freezes, putting a hand on Finn's bare chest stopping him, "Wait."

"Sorry, am I squishing you?" Finn asks as he sits up, both of his knees on either side of her hips, his growing arousal ever so prominent in his cotton boxers.

Rachel licks her lips, momentarily distracted, but the looks up at Finn who is smirking at her knowingly, "We can't have sex on the couch."

"What? But we did like weeks ago." Finn asks in confusion.

"I know but I promised Santana we won't." Rachel trails off when Finn leans forward and starts kissing her down her chest, his hands on her waist, "Umm...well...what she doesn't know...oh"

Rachel's fingers run through Finn's hair, tugging on it when his teeth graze her skin, she arches her back as he unhooks the front clasp of her bra, he looks up at her, "I love this bra."

Rachel rolls her eyes, but soon she's gasping when Finn's wet lips wrap around her nipple, sucking on it slowly, his hand massaging her other breast, "Oh god...yes."

"I love that you're so vocal." Finn mutters against her skin, the vibrations creating a new sensation against Rachel's sensitive flesh.

Rachel hums in response her hands roaming his bare back, her nails dragging against his skin, "I love your mouth."

Finn laughs again, as he releases her left breast with an audible pop and before Rachel can even recover his mouth latches onto her other breasts, Rachel gasps as her back arches, loving the fact that for once they aren't rushing and just taking their time. Usually everything is always so rushed, but Finn seems determined to move as slowly as possible. It's torturing, but she's enjoying every minute of it.

She grips his shoulder, scooting back to take off her bra and then pulls Finn down for another kiss, her hands trailing down his taunt stomach, and slipping under the waist band of his boxers, when she wraps her hand around his cock, Finn hisses against her lips. She squeezes his cock a few times before pushing him against the back of the couch, she slides off the couch and gets on her knees in front of him, Finn's hands automatically got to her head, his fingers running through her hair.

She pulls down his boxers, throwing it next to her bra and licks her lips at the erections, she looks up at him with a smile, lowering her head and blowing lightly on the tip, loving the way Finn's muscular thighs tense and his hips rise, before she even touches him. She places her hands on his thighs massaging it lightly, before he finally lowers her mouth on the tip of his cock, licking off the precum, before slowly begins to take him in, her tongue running along the length, her lips tightening around his flesh.

"Fuck Rachel." Finn hisses as he tugs on her hair, his hips rising slightly as pushes into her mouth just a little.

Rachel grins loving the way he always responds to her touch, she slowly begins to pull back all the way to the tip. She's about to lower her head again, but suddenly finds herself being hoisted in the air, under her arms, "Finn!"

"I want you...not your mouth." Finn mutters as their lips crash together, he spins them around so once again he's hovering over her and she's lying on the couch, her head against the armrest.

Finn fingers hook on her panties tugging them down and before her ass can even touch the couch, she gasps when she feels Finn's fingers probing her, running along her swollen lips, "Finn."

Finn looks up at her placing a soft kiss on her stomach as he slowly begins pump his fingers, her inner muscles clenching around them as she gasps out. After a few seconds he slips his fingers out and Rachel sighs at the loss, but suddenly he's hovering over her, his knees on either side of her hips and he lowers his head to kiss her softly, "Ready?"

She hums in approval, arching her neck upwards to kiss him again, gasping as he finally slides into her. They both still for her to get accustom, she runs her fingers down his back cupping his ass and squeezing it to get him moving and soon enough Finn slowly begins to move inside of her, their bodies starting to move in sync.

"Oh...um...right there." Rachel moans as she squeezes Finn's ass when he hits just the right spot, she throws one of her legs off the couch, widening her position and they both hiss as Finn moves in deeper.

"Fuck...baby...I'm close." Finn mutters against her ear, kissing her neck.

He pulls all the way back and then slams back in and Rachel gasps, her body arching to meet his increased speed, "More."

At her request, she feels his hand snake between their sweaty body, and when his finger presses down on her clit, his thumb squeezing it as Finn continues to pump into her, Rachel groans as she climaxes her inner muscles clenching around Finn repeatedly until he too finds his own release, and he collapses on top of her his chest resting on her breasts. He mutters something under his breath, but Rachel doesn't hear him, and she's too tired to ask him.

They end up falling asleep on the couch for the night, both exhausted, she's been running on no sleep for the past two days and Finn had two gigs in the last three days. The next time she stirs awake, the clock over the tv is shining brightly in the dimly lit apartment '2:00' glaring back at her. She and Finn have shifted since then and he's now pressed against the back of the couch spooning her, his long legs hanging over the armrest. Rachel sighs as she hugs Finn's arm tighter around her, spooning like this is something they have never done either, but she knows they need to move to her bed or Finn will not be able to move in the morning.

"Finn." She calls off softly, turning her head to place a kiss on his cheek, hoping to wake him, but all he does is grunt and pull her closer to him, "Finn get up."

"I don't wanna leave." He mutters against her skin, burying his face into the pillow they are sharing.

Rachel frowns at his words, but shakes him again, "You're not leaving, we're just going to my bed,"

She watches as he slowly wakes up his eyes fluttering open, still laden with sleep and she can't get over how cute he looks, and small part of her wishes she got to see him like this every day, he looks at her sleepily, "Bed?"

Rachel giggles as she kisses his nose, "Go to bed, I'll meet you there."

"Promise?" he whispers, his eyes closing down again, and Rachel can't miss the vulnerability in his tone.

Rachel sits up, slipping out from his arms and gets to her feet, helping him up, "Promise, I'm just going to make sure everything is locked up."

Finn nods and gets up walking sleepily to her bedroom. Rachel smiles at his bare ass, but giggles at the way he rubs his eyes repeatedly, and yawns on his way to her room. She shakes her head clearing her mind of those thoughts as she survey's the living room frowning at the mess they made. She eyes Finn's undershirt and quickly slips it on, before she starts gathering their clothes. She tidies the couch, making a mental note to change the cushion covers yet again, and turns off the hallway light.

The moon is bright tonight and the curtains by the window over the kitchen sink are slightly parted and the moonlight is illuminating the small apartment. Rachel takes her handbag hanging it on the rack and this puts Finn and her boots next to the door and out of the way. She looks at the stark contrast in size of their boots, his large boots dwarfing her own, their coats hanging on the coat rack over it and she frowns at the domesticity of it all. Things with Finn aren't suppose to become familiar like this, there is a reason why she can't be in a relationship with him, once things begin to get comfortable, that's when things start to go wrong.

She's so deep in her thoughts she doesn't hear footsteps behind her until she feels two arms snake around her waist and she's pulled flushed against Finn's naked body, "I thought you were coming to bed?"

"I guess we made more mess than I thought." Rachel says softly her hands resting on his clasps arms around her waist, sighing when Finn kisses her neck.

"I'll help you clean it up in the morning." Finn promises kissing her again, "Come to bed."

Rachel nods and allows him to pull her in the direction of her bed, they both crawl into bed and Finn tugs her to him, wrapping his arm around her waist, so they are spooning yet again. Finn tilts her head towards him and kisses her softly, when his hand moves to rest on her hip, she expects him to take it further but instead he kisses her shoulder and murmurs to her softly, "G'night Rach."

The next time she wakes up, she finds herself alone in an empty bed, her comforter completely cocooning her and no sign of Finn, and she hates that she's disappointed that he left without saying goodbye. But then again she thinks maybe it's for the best, maybe Finn himself is realizing that last night they got way too comfortable, with a sigh she sits up yawning. She slips out of her bed and makes a bee line for her desk, to check her schedule.

She can't focus on Finn, she still has many more exams to worry about, she sees what she has planned for the day and checks the clock to see she's only off by an hour or so. She pads over to her chest of drawers and decides that if she hurries she'll get to the library before the crowd.

"Hey! Why are you out of bed?" A voice calls out, making her drop her clothes on the floor, she turns around her eyes widening when she sees Finn only dressed in his boxers holding a tray in his hand with a various bowls of fruit and can of whip cream, he grins sheepishly at her gaze on the food, "I wanted to make breakfast for you, but you two have like _nothing_ in that kitchen, do you eat anything besides granola and ramen noodles?"

"I have to go to the grocery." Rachel says in awe watching as Finn places the tray on her bed and then walks over to her, placing his hands on her hips, he looks down at her with a smile.

"Hi."

Rachel doesn't have time to respond before Finn is kissing her, softly nipping at her lips. Rachel kisses back automatically, but her mind still processing the breakfast on her bed, and the man standing in front of her, when Finn sees her expression he frowns, "What?"

"I...uh I thought you left." She says sheepishly.

Finn chuckles clearly taking her surprise as disappointment, when he tugs her to him, "Hey, a sleepover isn't complete without breakfast right? But next time I think we should stay at my place, cause at least we can eat real food. You really can't live on ramen noodles you know. Were you going to shower? We can shower _together_ after breakfast."

As he mentions 'the next time' Rachel freezes, panic immediately beginning to set in, and Finn notices her tense immediately, he takes a step back picking up her fallen clothes, he fingers her jeans at the top of the pile and looks at her closely, "You were hoping I _did_ leave."

"No! Of course not." Rachel protests, and she knows from the frown on Finn's face that he's not believing her, "I just assumed that you did and I was going to go to the library. I didn't _hope_ you had left."

"But you would have preferred it, if I did." Finn says his voice hard,

"I never said that! Last time I left..." Rachel trails off when she realizes belatedly that was the wrong thing to say cause Finn grabs his jeans off her bed and starts pulling them on.

"_Last_ time, we were two strangers who just _fucked_. I thought now because we 're _friends_ you'd at least want to have breakfast together or something...I thought you...whatever I guess it _is_ just like last time, I'm just the guy you fuck and then let him go on his way."

"_Finn_! That is not what this is!" Rachel protests, stomping her foot, "You know you're more that that!"

"Really? Really Rachel?" Finn says angrily tugging on his sweater, "In the past four weeks when have we spent time that didn't include us fucking?"

"Can you please stop using that word?"

"Why? It's what we're doing right? Fuck buddies...that seems to sum it up properly" Finn spits out angrily at her, "When you have an itch, you find me and then once I scratch that itch you leave. At least before we would hang out."

"We still do!" Rachel protests, "Last night..."

"Last night, we went to see a movie, ate and then came backed here and fucked, if I had known this is what you wanted I would have never agreed to it. I care about you Rachel, but I guess you can't say the same thing about me."

"Finn, that's not true I do care about you! You _know_ I do." Rachel pleads, as she blinks back her tears watching as Finn walks out of her room, she quickly follows him, "_You_ were the one that said it didn't have to mean anything!"

"I didn't think that meant, I was losing my friend Rachel." Finn says sadly, "I didn't think my _friend_ would use me like that."

"Finn that's not true, you know I value our friendship! It's why I didn't want to go into this arrangement in the first place!" Rachel says trailing behind him as he finds his socks on the coffee table and tugs them on angrily.

Finn rounds on her, dropping one of the socks, "_Don't_ blame me for this. _You_ agreed to this arrangement, we said _friends_. I saw more of you when we weren't fucking."

"Finn, your friendship means a lot to me, you have to believe that and I..." Rachel trails off as her phone begins to chime.

Finn looks at her tiredly, "Are you going to get that?"

"It's not a call, it's my alarm, I usually set it when I have to study."

"Well don't let me keep you." Finn says as he stuffs his other sock in his pocket, slipping on his boots and grabbing his coat, "I mean I know how important that is to you."

"Finn, don't go we should talk about this!" Rachel pleads as Finn opens the door, she watches as he turns around to look at her his expression unreadable.

"Why? We both know it didn't mean anything right?"

He doesn't wait for an answer and slams the door behind him leaving Rachel standing alone in her apartment only dressed in Finn's undershirt.

* * *

><p><strong>Finally some angst to shake up things! Hehe<strong>

**Reviews are love ;)**


	7. Chapter 7

**I'm so sorry for delay, I was on vacation for the last two weeks, hopefully now I'll be able to update more frequently.**

**Thank you all for the reviews and to those wondering, yes I did delete my tumblr, but I'm not going to be deleting these stories, and I do plan on finishing this fic before the end of summer.**

* * *

><p>"Oh god, make it stop." Santana bemoans as she storms into Rachel's room yanking Rachel's iPhone out of her iHome, "What is it with you and your newest obsession with Maroon 5? Or more like this damn song? If you're that horny go and find Finn! Some of us still have to study you know."<p>

Rachel rolls her eyes at her friend's antics, but does not look up from her book as she speaks, "Your last exam was two days ago, I should know, you and Brittany kept me up all night, last night _and_ the night before."

"I told you I wanted the house that night, we both agreed to it, and well I'll apologize for last night." Santana says sheepishly, she then sighs and crawls onto Rachel's bed, sitting directly in front of Rachel and yanking the book out of Rachel's hand, "Why don't you just call him?"

"And say what exactly?" Rachel asks tiredly.

It's been three weeks since Rachel has seen or heard from Finn, and she shouldn't be surprised because _she_ never tried to contact him either. She did what she does best and buried herself in work as always. It's the only thing that could distract her from Finn, but her last exam was four days ago and the reality that she very well may never see Finn again is slowly sinking in.

"Well you can start with apologizing to him." Santana says pointedly.

"Apologize for what?" Rachel says stubbornly, pulling her book out of Santana's grasp, not wanting to have this conversation again or deal with it.

"Rachel, you clearly hurt his feelings and I told you, maybe he just wants more from the arrangement."

Rachel sighs as she leans back against her head rest, her unopened book lying on her lap, "But we both agreed..."

"Things change Rachel, feelings change, and don't tell me you don't have some kind of feelings for the guy. If you didn't, you wouldn't be so messed up about it."

Santana takes Rachel's hand, pulling her into a sitting position, "Talk to him, even if he never wants to see you again at least you'll get to move on...well, at least from _this_ relationship."

"It is not..._was_ not a relationship." Rachel protested, "And what is that suppose to mean? Sam is not an issue anymore."

"Are you serious?" Santana asks Rachel incredulously, "Rachel, I love you, but you can't be _that_ clueless. The reason you are even in this situation with Finn is _because_ of Sam and all the shit that happened, hell that relationship was so messed up, I'm surprised you and Finn were able to date."

"Finn and I weren't dating!"

"You went out to dinner almost every night and you talked all the time and had sex all the time. If it looks like a duck and sounds like a duck..."

"But we agreed to no strings attached, friends with benefits." Rachel says, she is now beginning to see that somewhere along the way, the lines between their agreement and dating seem to have blurred.

"Yea but for the first few weeks it wasn't like that." Santana pointed out, "Hell Rachel you guys came on a double date with Britt and I."

"We were both hungry, and having pizza at the diner down the street doesn't really count." Rachel protests, but even she realizes how pathetic that sounds, "Oh, god we _were_ dating and then I..."

"You basically fucked him and then sent his ass packing each time because of exams, you forgot the 'friends' part of the equation and just focused on the benefits." Santana says dryly.

"Oh god, I'm a terrible person," Rachel bemoans, hearing Santana lay things out so planning, it is making her realize how badly she treated Finn, they were friends first and foremost.

"Don't be too hard on yourself Rach, I just think Finn was expecting more from this arrangement than you were, or at least he's into you more than you are. I know you said he initiated – which, by the way sex on the drums? _Hot damn.- _but that doesn't mean it's what he wanted in the first place. He probably just thought that's what _you_ wanted._"_

Rachel rolls her eyes, her cheeks tinting red, "We couldn't have sex on the drum stool, so we moved...Santana we're not talking about where Finn and I had sex."

"Yea cause we'd be here all night." Santana said deadpan.

"We weren't _that_ bad!"

"Rachel, three weeks ago you went for a coffee run for us and you came back 20 minutes later without your _bra_, I mean jeez if I didn't know you better I'd say that coffee had cost a lot more than 2 bucks..."

"_Santana!"_ Rachel yells throwing her pillow at Santana's head, "I knew, I should never have told you about that, and for your information I had already _bought_ the coffee and I was just waiting for it when Finn showed up and..."

Rachel trails off and releases a loud sigh, she remembers the conversation they had about the best place to have pizza, Finn telling her he'd take her to this dinky little diner about an hour away from her apartment, then she'd know what real pizza truly was, she doesn't remember how that particular conversation turned dirty and end up with her on her knees in the coffee house storage room, but she does know, that Finn never got to take her out for that pizza.

"Okay, Rachel point blank." Santana calls out, pulling Rachel out of her thoughts, "Do _you _have feelings for Finn?"

Rachel bites her lip at the question, she's cares about Finn a lot, and she misses him more than ever, it wasn't just the sex, but she values Finn's friendship more than ever. The only thing she's just not ready for a relationship again, to go and fail at something yet again, "I don't know."

"Rach, I'm not asking you if you're ready to marry the dude. I know that's how your mind works. You plan years in the future, rather than focusing on the right now. Look clearly the friends with benefits thing wasn't working for you, but you need to figure out if you just want to be friends with Finn or something more. And, you need to do that by starting with _apologizing_ to Finn and talking to him seeing where he stands on this."

Rachel sighs, knowing Santana's right, she can't just ignore the problem hoping it will go away, "When did you get so smart?"

Santana scoffs, slapping Rachel with her abandon pillow, "Bitch please. I've always been smart. _You _just, never messed up so badly, normally it's me. I'm actually kinda proud of you."

"You're terrible."

"Yet, I'm having regular sex _daily_. While all you have is your fingers doing your..."

"Santana!"

* * *

><p>Rachel pulls her lapels of her coat closer to her body, shivering as she trudges up the small snow covered pathway in front of Finn's apartment, biting her lip nervously when she sees the his silhouette through the curtains. She takes a deep breath as she slowly makes her way up the small narrow stairs to the front door, her heart hammering in her chest and she twists the ring on her finger nervously, not sure what kind of greeting she'll get from Finn. With a heavy heart she raises her hand to the wooden door and knocks lightly, smiling when she hears a loud bark in response, she realizes she misses Finn's dog as well.<p>

When the door open suddenly she releases her breath when she realizes it's not Finn at the door like she expected, but another man, one who was dressed in brown slacks and a shirt with a sweater vest. But what was odd, was the black apron around his waist with the words 'Kiss the chef' written across it gold.

Rachel finally realizes this is Kurt, Finn's brother she's never met before. Before she can offer up a greeting, the man's smile turns into a frown as he looks her up and down with slight distain, his hand resting lightly on the door, clearly indicating Rachel was not welcomed.

"You must be Rachel." Kurt says shortly, his nose turned up slightly.

"Hello Kurt, it's nice to meet you." Rachel says pleasantly, plastering a smile on her face despite the scowl on the other man's face.

"I can't say the feeling is mutual." Kurt remarks, "I'm sorry but Finn is indisposed at the moment and..."

But before he could continue, to basically brush Rachel off, a loud bark is heard behind them and Rachel gasps when Elphie comes running down the hallway and immediately jumps on Rachel, her front paws pressed on Rachel's stomach.

"Hi Elphie." Rachel greets brightly, at least _this_ Hummel seems to like her. She scratches the top of the dogs head giggling at her antics, when suddenly Kurt suddenly grabs Elphie by the collar.

"Her name is Elphaba." Kurt says shortly, "Not that I expect you to even know one of the most iconic Broadway legends."

"Legends? Dude didn't that show come out like 5 years ago? Aren't legends suppose to be like 30 years old or something?" An all too familiar voice calls out, "Who's the poor soul you're lecturing anyway?"

When Finn finally comes into sight, he freezes on seeing Rachel at the front door, "Oh."

"Finn, I..." Rachel stars but Kurt cuts her off, Elphie already getting tired of all three of them and running off.

"Wicked is not a _show_ Finn, it's a musical and is iconic in its own right! How many times do I have to tell you that? Have I taught you _nothing_ these past 8 years? Speaking of which, did you know that Wicked is slowly approaching its 10 year..."

Finn suddenly sniffs the air in the tiny hallway, "Is something burning?"

"My quiche!" Kurt squeaks already sprinting to the kitchen, the front door slamming open with a bang, and Elphie barks in response, scampering after Kurt to the kitchen.

Finn chuckles to himself, but when he turns to Rachel his entire demeanour changes and his face hardens, as he folds his arms. Rachel bites her lip, wondering if she made a mistake when Finn finally sighs and gestures her inside, closing the door behind her.

"All the cold air was coming in." Finn explains as he sticks his hands in the pockets of his sweatpants looking at her expectantly, "Did you come to pick something up?"

"Finn." Rachel implores, taking a step towards him, but her heart clenches when he immediately takes a step back, "I am so sorry, I took advantage of our arrangement and friendship like that and I'm sorry I hurt you."

"Why did you wait till now to come to me?" Finn asks his voice void of any emotions, his arms still folded as he looks down at her, making no move to invite her further into the apartment, "It's been two weeks since I walked out and suddenly you come here to apologize?"

"I..." Rachel stutters, not expecting him to question her about _this_ of all things, "Why should it matter when I came? Shouldn't it be that I'm truly sorry that I..."

"When did exams end?" Finn asks but it's almost like a challenge, and Rachel finally gets where he's going with this and she sighs.

"What does that matter?" Rachel protests weakly, knowing right away that was _not_ the response he was looking for.

"That's my point exactly, you waited until _after_ your exams, to deal with this. You shelf this under unimportant things and decided to pull it out when _you_ were ready for it, expecting the problem to be exactly where it was when I left that morning."

"Isn't it?" Rachel retorts, her own frustration rising, "We haven't spoken in two weeks, the problem is exactly where it was, that is, unresolved!"

"It doesn't work like that Rachel! Time just doesn't stop and starts back when you think it's convenient for you." Finn remarks, "Relationships don't work like that."

"This was not a relationship!" Rachel growls back slamming her hand bag on the small table in the hallway, the mirror shaking slightly.

"Can the two of you take that in the studio? Blaine is coming over for lunch and we don't need to hear your squawking while we try to enjoy our meal." Kurt calls out, his head sticking out from behind the revolving door that leads the kitchen.

"Go away Kurt!" Finn barks at his brother, he looks back at Rachel his eyes boring into her, "I guess that was always our problem then, it's _not_ a relationship. I thought it was about two people who cared about each other, spending time together, but I guess I was wrong."

"Finn, you knew how I felt about relationships, going into this agreement." Rachel says softly, "And I'm sorry that you thought differently or expected more than I can give you. I told you I'm not looking for a relationship."

"Then why are you even here Rachel?" Finn asks in exasperation, "I made it pretty obvious how I feel and..."

"Actually, you haven't." Rachel says cutting him off, "Yes I understand that I took advantage of our situation and took out the friendship part of our agreement, and only sought you out wanting...well you know..."

"Fuck buddies." Finn interjects and she knows he's just doing that to piss her off, because he knows she hates that term.

"My point _is_. I'm sorry for treating you like that, and I do value our friendship, but I don't know how you felt about this whole thing, all _you_ said it would mean nothing," Rachel continues pointedly ignoring his comment, "I care about you Finn and I value our friendship more than this agreement and..."

Suddenly Finn growls slapping his hand against the wall in frustration, "Why are you so frustrating?"

Rachel looks at him alarm, taking a step back, her eyes wide, Finn on noticing her expression immediately sobers up, dropping his hand to his side and looking at her, his expression softening, "Why won't you stop thinking and over analyzing every aspect your life and just let yourself _feel_ Rachel? You can't tell me I'm the only one that felt something between us. You keep categorizing your life into little boxes and when something doesn't fit where _you_ think it belongs, you try to make it fit. Life doesn't work like that Rachel."

"Finn, I'm sorry that you feel like I'm not returning your sentiments..."

"Stop. Stop apologizing for how _I_ am feeling." Finn says in frustration, "Why won't you just admit that this thing between us was never black and white like you expected it to be. We both know I don't fit into your little box labelled 'friends'. We've _never_ been just friends Rachel, our first night together speaks for itself. We were both stupid to think we could be just friends after that. Why won't you just admit that to yourself?"

"I can't!" Rachel suddenly screams out, her eyes filling with tears, as she wipes them away angrily, "I'm not you Finn I just can't accept things like that, I can't just take a leap of faith on something I'm not sure about. My mind just doesn't work like that. I can't just jump into something, unless I know exactly where I'm going to land."

"Rachel, no relationship works like that." Finn says softly taking a step towards her, squeezing her hand, "No one goes into a relationship thinking they know where they will end up at the end of it, you can't put an expiry date on it, anymore than you can plan a wedding and a life after the first date. We can't predict the future, we can only live in the present."

"Well I did and my boyfriend of five years ended up cheating on me with my best friend, so I'm sorry if I need some kind of _plan_ because finding them _naked_ in his bed was _never_ part of my plan either!" Rachel holds back a sob as she yanks her hand out of Finn's grasp.

"Rachel, wait..." Finn says reaching for her again, but Rachel steps aside, just enough for her to grab her handbag, but he grabs the other end of the strap, stopping her.

She looks up at him her eyes filled with tears, "I'm sorry Finn this was a mistake. I shouldn't have come here. It's clear that we both want different things here, and I just can't give you want you need. Goodbye Finn."

She tugs her handbag out of his grasp and turns on her heels, ignoring his calls as she slips through the front door, shivering as the chilly wind hits her damp cheeks. She trudges through the snow, her heart heavy, tears flowing as she angrily wipes them in her coat. She's angry at Finn for forcing her to face her feelings before she's ready, angry at Sam for everything he's put her through and most importantly angry at herself for not listening to her heart.

Instead of closure, she just has that much more issues to deal with.

* * *

><p>Winter break is the perfect opportunity for Rachel to get away, she uses her two weeks off to head home to Lima. Spending her break in Lima, Ohio catching up with her fathers, hearing about all the gossip going on at the hospital, who's having whose baby. They talk about her MCATs and what medical schools she plans to apply to. Neither of her father's bring up Sam, which she is grateful for, although she's sure they know all the details, seeing as Sam's mother <em>is<em> the biggest gossiper Rachel has ever has the misfortune of knowing. She surprised word hasn't gotten around that _Rachel_ was the one to leave Sam for Santana or something equally scandalous.

Rachel shakes her head free of her wondering thoughts, she pointedly ignores her phone when she sees it begin to light up brightly on the kitchen counter, next to the bowl of popcorn she's currently stringing up for the Christmas tree.

Her Papa is Jewish and her Dad is Catholic so the Berry family has always celebrated both Christmas and Hanukkah, as a child Rachel always thought it was cool that she got more gifts than any of her friends.

"Bug, your phone is ringing." Her Papa calls out from next to oven, gesturing to the still vibrating phone.

Rachel glances at the screen and sighs, when she sees Finn name glaring back at her. She quickly silences the call, when she looks up, both her fathers are looking at her expectantly, "It's just Santana, She and Brittany went Vegas with some of Brittany dancer friends for the vacation, she said they are going to see the Grand Canyon today, I'll call her later."

Not exactly a lie, Santana _is_ in Vegas, but she sent that text to Rachel days ago, that call would be the fifth since she's been home all from Finn, but she hasn't answered any of them. She just doesn't know what to say to him, it's clear that Finn knows what he wants from their relationship, but she's just so confused, it makes no sense giving him false hope, when she herself isn't sure what she wants, it's not fair to either of them. So she does what she does best, she ignores Finn's calls and focuses on having a nice quiet break with her dads.

0ooo0

Before Rachel knows it she's back at school and heading into her final semester of undergrad. She decides that she's going to have a new plan this semester; she's going to focus on _only_ her work and her personal life on the back burner just for this semester.

Of course the first Friday of the school semester, Santana throws that plan right out of the window, when she comes barging into her room, Brittany on her heels. Santana swipes Rachel's book from on the desk and then hands it to Brittany, who puts it neatly on Rachel's _top_ shelf about her dresser, the one place Rachel _can't _reach it.

"We're going out." Santana says, already going to Rachel's closet, "It's the first Friday of the semester, you're _not_ gonna be spending it in front of a book, you can do that on Sunday like a normal person."

Rachel sighs, spinning on her chair to face her friend, to see that both Santana and Brittany are silently discussing what Rachel should wear, "I'm not going to a club with the two of you, clubs aren't my thing you know that."

"Which is why we are going to a bar, and before you protest, its karaoke night and some of Britt's dancer friends will be going." Santana says holding up to long sleeve shirts for Rachel, one sheer, which she's pretty sure is Santana's and another simple modest pink shirt.

When Rachel points at the pink shirt, she rolls her eyes when Santana throws the _other _top on the bed, and the pink one goes back in her closet; she should have expected that. "Brittany, I'm sure your friends are lovely, but I don't really see how that, and _karaoke_ is suppose to appeal to me."

"Well for one thing, you need to start interacting with people; and not start off this semester locked up in this room. One night out isn't going to kill you." Santana retorts as she takes Rachel's tights from her dresser and throws it on the bed.

"I seem to remember having this exact same conversation the beginning of _last_ semester and look how well _that_ turned out." Rachel says deadpan.

Santana snorts in response, "Yea, you spend the majority of that semester on your back, with your legs spread and a hot guy making you scream. That turned out _so_ badly for you."

Rachel glares at her, but Santana sighs sobering up and taking a step towards Rachel, "Look I know the last few weeks were kind of rough for you and I get you are definitely not ready for any kind of relationship, but come out and just have some fun. Sit with us and make fun of the people who can't sing. Hell you can go up there and show them how it's done."

Rachel rolls her eyes at her best friend's compliment, knowing she's only saying that to butter Rachel up, "I hardly think singing in the shower counts as me showing people 'how it's done'. "

"Santana says everything counts in the shower." Brittany chimes in innocently.

Rachel snorts as Santana turns red at her girlfriend's comment, "Of course you would."

"Okay, enough of this, you get dressed Berry, Brit and I will wait for you outside." With that said Santana tugs her girlfriend by the hand and out of Rachel's room.

Twenty minutes later Rachel finds herself in a bar with a group of Brittany friends and Santana. Brittany friend's surprisingly aren't as airy as the blond and one her friends Tina actually is studying to be an architect, she and Rachel hit it off really quickly when they both discovered they love The Vampire Diaries.

The night is going surprisingly well for Rachel, she's had a few drinks and shares a few laughs over some of the less than stellar performances. She finds herself singing along to many of the songs and she slowly realizes the few months she's known Finn she's learned a lot about music and he's open up a whole new world to her, something she never even took a chance to consider. She's even more surprised that she actually misses spending time in Finn's studio listening to the band, even brainstorming ideas with them. She misses her own private performances from the band, she even misses Puck and his vulgar behaviour.

Rachel sighs, when she realizes most of all she misses spending time with Finn, in the short few months they knew each other, he's shown her so many different things, be it music, food and hell even video games.

Rachel is so consumed with her thoughts about Finn she doesn't hear her name being called over the PA system until, the little group she is with starts chanting her name. She looks up startled to see everyone in the bar looking at her expectantly, and the MC for the evening gesturing her up on stage.

Rachel's jaw drops in surprise and she looks across at her best friend who is waving at her evilly. Rachel scowls, but immediately plasters a smile on her face, making her way towards the stage, not before she turns to her best friend and hisses out, "I'm going to _kill_ you."

All she hears is Santana's cackles in response, as she slowly makes her way up to the stage. She greets the man on stage politely and takes the microphone from him. When she sees the title of the song on the television, she growls of _course_ Santana would choose this song for her.

_Call Me Maybe by Carly Rae Jepsen._

Santana caught Rachel singing along to this song _once_ on the radio, dancing and all and the other girl never let Rachel live it down.

She hates her best friend,

She looks across at Santana who is clapping enthusiastically, laughing at Rachel's expense as the perky song begins to play. She takes a deep breath keeping her focus solely on the television screen, refusing to look anyone in the eye.

_I threw a wish in the well,__  
>Don't ask me, I'll never tell<br>I looked to you as it fell,  
>And now you're in my way<em>

_I'd trade my soul for a wish,  
>Pennies and dimes for a kiss<br>I wasn't looking for this,  
>But now you're in my way<em>

_Your stare was holdin',  
>Ripped jeans, skin was showin'<br>Hot night, wind was blowin'  
>Where you think you're going, baby?<em>

_Hey, I just met you,  
>And this is crazy,<br>But here's my number,  
>So call me, maybe?<em>

Rachel looks across at her best friend and laughs when she realizes that Brittany has Santana dancing along with her, she finally looks around the room to see that people are actually cheering and singing along. She giggles slightly missing a few lines of the chorus but realizes the entire bar is already singing the chorus for her, so she quickly jumps into the last verse, not even looking at the screen, she knows all the words anyway and judging by the large group of people in front of her they know it as well. She laughs whole heartedly dancing on stage and finishes her last note as the club erupts in to cheers. Rachel pinks in surprise not expecting that kind of response, especially for this preppy song of all things but curtsies nonetheless earning another round of applause.

She laughs as she jumps off stage going back to her small group who cheers as she joins them, Santana holding up a small shot glass with clear liquid and little gold specs floating around in it. Rachel looks at her in confusion.

"You deserve a shot for having the balls to go up there and do _that_ song. I just chose it cause I thought you'd back out." Santana says with smile, swaying slightly and Rachel knows her best friend is slowly moving away from tipsy and heading straight to drunk, "I bow down to you bitch."

"While Satan does make a point, I have a much more appropriate response to your impromptu performance." A new voice cuts in.

Both Rachel and Santana turn around at the same time, and Rachel is surprised to see_ Kurt_ standing in front of her, she looks back at Santana who simply downs the shot in her hand not at all deterred by Kurt's comment, "Lady Hummel, how nice of you to visit our humble abode."

Rachel blanches at Santana dry mocking tone, "Wait, how do you two know each other?"

Kurt rolls his eyes at Santana, looking back at Rachel, "Tina and Blaine are siblings, Tina's parents adopted him when he was 8, anyway Blaine and I went to Vegas with Tina, Mike, Brittany and Satan's spawn."

"Pinocchio, you gotta come better than those insults. It's actually insulting how lame your insults are." Santana snaps back.

"Oh god." Rachel moans, she grabs Brittany by the hand, pushing her towards Santana, "Take her to bar and get her some water, before something ugly happens. I don't want to have to explain to Finn why his brother's nose is broken or something."

"Oh relax, Rae. This is how Hummel and I communicate right?" Santana says with a lazy smile going up to Kurt and messing up his hair, much to the other boy's horror.

"Charming." Kurt remarks, quickly running his fingers through his hair, before he looks at Rachel expectantly, "Oh right the reason I came over here in the first place. I'm actually here with some of my cast mates. I want to offer you a job."

"Excuse me?" Rachel asks incredulously, not at all expecting that.

"Well not a_ paying_ job, but a role if you will, my friend Matt, who is a play writer wrote a musical and our drama association is putting on this play/musical as part of his final project and we need a narrator who can _sing_. That's where you come in. I need you to be the narrator, that song although completely atrocious I have to admit you sang it surprisingly well, only messing up your pitch and tone a few times, but that's to be expected with your lack of vocal training."

Rachel looks at Kurt in utter disbelief not believing what he is saying, "You want me to be in your _play_? Kurt did Finn tell you anything at all about me?"

Kurt suddenly groans, "God what did he _not_ tell me? I'm pretty sure I know how you take your breakfast every morning, and FYI eating strawberries with Nutella cancels out the healthiness of fruit in the morning, if you're just going to drown it in chocolate batter."

Rachel's cheeks redden at the boy's words, knowing that particular _late_ breakfast she had with Finn was when he came early a morning and surprised her before her class. Suffice to say the Nutella _and_ the strawberries were also used for _other_ activities as well. "I'm not a singer Kurt, or an actor."

"This part requires no acting on your part, and as for your singing, I wouldn't be standing here asking you if I didn't think you could sing, you can ask anyone, I am a _huge_ critic and I would never ask someone who was not talented to do this job."

Rachel bites her lip slight intrigued at his compliment, the idea _does_ sound appeal and she _did_ enjoy singing up on stage, and although she knows that probably has to do with the alcohol in her system, she briefly toys with the idea, when she's reminded exactly _who_ she's currently talking too, "But Finn..."

Kurt scoffs, "Even though you and my brother were basically attached to the hip, when you were doing all those _things_, I can assure you Finn and I don't have the same circle of friends and well you'd be in the school's auditorium all the time and nowhere near our apartment. That said, your issues with my brother is yours alone, that doesn't involve me, this play however, does. The entire production is meeting tomorrow at the Alderman's auditorium at noon. You can come check it out, see the songs you'll be singing, along with the narration, and decide there. Don't be late."

With that said he turns on his heels and leaves not even waiting for a response. Rachel is still standing in shock trying to process what just happened, when she feels someone come up next to her. Tina pats her on the shoulder lightly, "He's intense, but he's right, he never would have asked you if he didn't think you could do it. You should go, trying something new is always fun, and you're lucky you get the chance to see before you decide. Normally he's very cut throat about these things, either you're all in or he'll send your ass packing."

Rachel bites her lips, wondering what exactly she just got herself into.

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><p><strong>Reviews are love ;)<strong>


	8. Chapter 8

**Thank you all for the kind words, I'm hoping to try and update every week. Special thanks to my beta Katherine :) You da best :P**

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><p>The next day Rachel finds herself standing in front of the Alderman's auditorium, wondering what on earth she was even doing there. She had tons of work to catch up on this week and she's supposed to schedule when she's planning on taking the MCAT. But instead of drawing up her study schedule and looking up areas she can take the test, she's considering joining a play of all things.<p>

Rachel takes a deep breath and tugs open the door, taking a tentative step into the large open space before she changes her mind. She sees a number of people littering the stage, chatting amongst themselves. She smiles when she sees Mike, Tina's boyfriend, sitting in the first row. At least she knows someone. She spots Kurt a few feet away speaking with a clean-shaven and built African-American boy, who has a thick book in his hand, and Rachel wonders briefly if he's the one that wrote the musical.

"Kurt." Rachel calls out tentatively,

"Oh good you came" Kurt says brightly, pulling her in front of the other man. Rachel smiles at them sheepishly as Kurt continues, not even bothering with introductions. "Unfortunately the person who's doing the instrumentals won't be here today, but you can familiarize yourself with the lyrics and the rest of the play so you can understand the emotion you're going to need to convey when you sing."

"What? But I didn't agree..." But Rachel trails off as Kurt is already walking away, his hand in the air as he waves her off.

"You get used to him," the guy standing next to her says in amusement. He holds out his hand to Rachel, "I'm Matt, I actually wrote this. I'm not sure if Kurt has mentioned that or not."

Rachel smiles warmly at him, "Actually he did. Is he always so..."

"Scary?"

"I was going to say intense, but that works too." Rachel says with a laugh, looking across the room as Kurt yells at some of the prop designers, and she involuntarily shudders slightly at his tone. She thinks about Finn and his laid back attitude, and she now understands all the countless arguments she's heard so much about, "Polar opposites."

Matt chuckles, "Are you talking about Finn?"

Rachel looks up at him in surprise at his questions, and Matt just grins in response. "Finn and I go way back, we use to play B-ball together in high school, he liked his music and I liked writing. Actually..."

But suddenly there was a loud crash followed by Kurt yelling in French. Matt's eyes widen in surprise, quickly handing the book in his hand to Rachel, "Here's the copy of the manuscript. Read through it while I go calm the beast."

Rachel giggles at the nickname as she takes the manuscript and gets comfortable in one of the chairs. Before she could get further than the first page, someone is tapping her on the shoulder and she sees it's Mike offering her a coffee. "Hi Rachel, let me introduce you to everyone."

The day goes much better than she ever anticipated and she learns a lot about theatre in just the few hours she spends in the auditorium. She learns that there are a lot of preparation and man power that go into producing a musical. If anything, the cast is just a very small piece of a much bigger picture.

The whole thing is exhilarating! She's never seen so many people be so passionate about what they're doing, putting their all into every little job that needs to be done. Sure, she's a pre-med student and the majority of her fellow classmates either want to go into medicine, veterinary medicine, or dentistry. But the problem with medical and pre-medical students is that there is this unspoken rule about being the best at everything. The seriousness in which people take their grades and the way studying often consumes them, it makes it so they no longer enjoy what they are learning. Yes, there are the few people whom she knows that actually enjoy learning everything about the body and chemistry of it all. But at the same time, a lot of her classmates are taking these courses simply because they are a requirement and because it brings them one step closer to getting their M.D. So much work is thrown at them time and time again and they don't have a minute to stop and appreciate what they are learning. Everyone is so concerned with what the next hurdle is and being in their final year and prepping for the MCAT. And Rachel knows once that is finished, then next will be the USMLE and then the million and one different exams that come with it. The bottom line is that they just don't have the time to reflect and appreciate what they're currently doing. Every single person, including Rachel, is more concerned with getting to the end of the road, what it will be like when they finish their last exam ever and have finally that M.D in their hands. It's been Rachel's life-long goal as long as she can remember.

She's currently standing at the foot of the stage watching Mike and another girl, Sandy, she thinks, dancing across the stage as the two leads sing in front of them. The entire play is nothing monumental, just your typical teen angst, but she can see that everyone is taking it very seriously.

Matt informed her that a lot of the kids are using this towards their final grades and some are just helping out friends or for extra practice. Rachel is in amazement by how easily and seamlessly they all have come together to help each other out. Yet again, she thinks of her fellow classmates and how not many people would take a day out of their precious study schedule to help someone out, especially if it's not going towards their final grade. Once again, she can't help but compare her world to this world.

She's been so consumed with her own work, numerous study schedules, and class that she's never even seen one of her university's bi-annual musicals or plays. Finn invited her at the end of last semester to see Kurt's play, but it was two weeks before final exams and she kept coming up with different excuses to not attend.

She sees Kurt standing on the side of the stage having a heated discussion with another guy, who is at the prompt table; both men have their hands flying wildly as they argue. Rachel hears a chuckle next to her and looks across to see Matt sitting on a stool, his manuscript on his lap, "I thought Kurt was suppose to be playing the lead's best friend?"

"Oh he is, but Kurt likes to bite off more than he can chew and insists on helping with costumes. He's an amazing singer as you saw earlier, but between you and me? I think the fashion stuff is more in his element. In the last musical we did, he put together all of the costumes with essentially no budget to speak of and just old costumes from previous shows. It was pretty amazing."

"I thought Kurt wanted to be on Broadway?" Rachel asks curiously, tearing her gaze away from Finn's brother to look at Matt.

"He does, it's always been a dream of his. I remember playing ball at their house when we were 14 and while we're doing that, there would always be music coming from Kurt's room. Music that Finn and I had never even heard of! Kurt would tell anyone who would listen that he's going to get his name in the lights. But you know, things change and sometimes dreams change in ways we never expect them to. I mean, look at me. I wanted to write my first book before I turned 25, but instead I'm writing musicals and screenplays and loving every minute of it. Life has a way of taking you places you never expected, but then you realize it's exactly where you want to be."

Rachel smiles at the other boy's words; she can see why he and Finn would be friends. His words remind her all too much of Finn. Rachel sighs as she looks down at the song list in front of her, "About these songs, I've never heard any of these and I can't read music either. I don't know why Kurt suggested I do this in the first place. I'm not a singer or an actress. Ask me to name all the blood vessels in the arm, _that_ I can do with my eyes closed. Sing? Not so much."

"Hey...whoa...calm down, sparky." Matt says in amusement, his eyes twinkling as he grasps Rachel shoulder lightly, "No one said you need to be perfect at this. I'll ask Tina to teach you the music and how to read it. She's our resident vocalist and the girl can _sing _like no one else I know. She should be here by now, though. Don't worry too much, no one is expecting you to be perfect, just give it your best. I'll go get her."

"Easier said than done." Rachel mutters to herself as Matt walks off, and sure enough she sees Tina on the side of the stage looking across at Mike who is currently dancing.

Rachel smiles when she sees that Mike finally notices Tina, and he immediately runs off stage and pulls her into a hug, spinning her around as the other girl laughs. When Rachel sees them kiss she immediately looks down at the song lyrics in front of her, feeling like she's intruding on a private moment between the two. It's clear from their excitement that Tina had some great news, and Rachel can't help but be slightly nostalgic. She misses that, having someone to go to when she had great news to share. She used to call Finn to tell him about the exams she aced or the dissections she did flawlessly. And despite the fact that just the word dissection made him feel nauseous, Finn used to be excited with everything she told him, even if it was just for a silly lab or worth nothing.

She just missed having someone to tell things to. Finn would love the fact that she decided to volunteer and help Kurt out. And not just because it was Kurt, but also because Finn had been trying for months to get Rachel to do something other than study or go to the gym. It's her own fault she doesn't have anyone to tell her news to.

Rachel looks down at the highlighted words in front of her and closes her eyes as she tries to memorize the lyrics, deciding to focus on the now and not what happened at Finn's apartment all those weeks ago. She can't believe it's been three weeks since she's seen Finn and two since she got a Happy New Year's text from him. But she knows not contacting him is best for the both of them. They both want different things and it will never work out.

"Hey Rachel!" Rachel looks up with a start at the sound of her name and she smiles when she sees Tina approaching her.

"Kurt told me the guitarist bailed on us today, so we're going to have to learn these songs a cappella for now."

When Rachel looks at Tina blankly, Tina giggles in response, "Without instruments."

"Oh," Rachel says slightly embarrassed, but Tina brushes it off easily as she takes a look at the sheet music in Rachel hands, "Okay we'll start off with the easiest song, so you can get accustomed to reading music."

All thoughts of Finn leave Rachel's mind as she focuses on Tina's words, and tries her best to understand and learn what the other girl is teaching her.

* * *

><p>Rachel spends the next few days putting aside a few hours to learn all the songs for the musical. Tina even offers to help her so that she doesn't have to just learn off of the songs, but actually learn how to read them all. Rachel finds herself enjoying this new outlet for her frustration, more than her early morning sessions on her elliptical.<p>

Never in a million years did she think singing of all things could be an outlet for her. Sure, she knows Finn has told her that music has been his way of dealing with his emotions and whatever he had been going through at the time. But she never really got it until she started learning these songs. And even though most of them don't pertain to her life, she realizes just how exhilarating it is to just sing out all of her emotions.

Well at least that is the direction Matt has been trying to teach and show her. He's been helpful these past few weeks, teaching her about her emotions and how to bring it across when she's singing. She finds herself eager to learn more and really understand the art of it all. It's all so different from what she's accustomed to learning. She's just taking it all in with a new perspective and enjoying every minute of it.

Rachel is sitting at the kitchen island, her anatomy book open on her left, and her notebook on her right and a bottle of water in her left hand. But lying on top of her anatomy book is her sheet music and she's currently humming the tune as she tries to recall the lyrics. She knows she's supposed to be reviewing her anatomy notes from the past week, but she tells herself she just needs to get this song memorized and then she'll go back to work. Learning the songs without the main guitarist this past week has been difficult, but Tina told her something urgent came up and the guitarist won't be able to meet with her until next week.

She closes her eyes, about to start to sing, when a loud bang startles her, and she sees Santana standing at the counter with a scowl on her face, "No more singing! I feel like I'm hearing your voice more than the freaking radio. Seriously, I thought today you were planning on studying actual school work?"

Rachel grins guiltily behind her water bottle, "I was, but then Matt called and offered to help me with this song, which is like a pivotal moment in the story and I'm not sure what kind of emotion I'm suppose to bring...why are you looking at me like that?"

Santana smirks holding up two fingers, "Two things, One? You're turning into one of those theatre geeks."

"I am _not_! I just think it's fascinating and nothing is wrong with doing a little research on what I'm learning so I get a better..."

"You're doing it again!" Santana says with a laugh, swiping a pear from the fruit bowl and taking a bite into it, her eyes twinkling, "I get that it's your OCD kicking in and all, but seriously Rach."

"I don't have OCD!" Rachel protests, "I just like to be thorough."

"Sure Rachel, let's call it that, _thorough_." Santana says with a smirk, she then slides onto a stool next to Rachel grinning mischievously, "So are you going to ever tell me about this Matt guy?"

"Matt? What do mean?" Rachel asks, not at all getting at Santana hints. "Speaking of Matt, he's supposed to be coming over to help me. The auditorium is booked and I know you have a lunch date with Brittany today. Would you stop looking at me like that?"

"This new dude is coming _over_?" Santana asks wiggling her eyebrows at Rachel, "Just remember the couch is off limits. Hell the whole living room is."

"What?" Rachel spits out her water, "I'm not going to sleep with Matt! Why would you even think that?"

"You've been talking about him constantly for the past two weeks," Santana points out, "The last time you got so hung up about someone was with _Finn_."

"I've been talking about Tina just as much." Rachel says with a roll of her eyes, "They've just been both helping me catch up. There is nothing going on with Matt."

"Is he hot?" Santana asks bluntly.

"What? I don't know, I haven't stopped to think about it." Rachel says truthfully. She just hasn't even looked at Matt in that sense at all. She's about to tell Santana to drop it, when there is a knock on the door. On seeing Santana's elated expression Rachel points a stern finger at her best friend, "Behave."

Santana raises her hands in defense, and asks innocently, "Me?"

Rachel rolls her eyes, not buying the innocent act at all, "Just leave Matt alone, he's doing me a favor. He doesn't have to help me but he is. So just be nice, okay?"

"_Favor?_ Pfft I'm sure Matty boy is hoping to get a little something in return." Santana hisses out, as Rachel pointedly ignores her and goes to answer the door.

"Matt! Hi!" Rachel says loudly, in hopes to cut off Santana, gesturing for the boy to come in.

Matt looks at her brightly, and much to Rachel's surprise he squeezes her shoulder in greeting, "Hey Rachel, I'm so glad you were free."

Rachel looks across at Santana with wide eyes, as Matt goes to take a seat on the sofa. Santana is looking at Rachel, her eyes twinkling with merit, "Hello."

Matt looks behind him startled, having not seen Santana in the kitchen, "Oh, hey I didn't realize you had company, Rachel."

"Oh no, I'm the roommate." Santana says sending Rachel a sly grin as she walks up to Matt, "I'm actually going to meet my girlfriend for lunch. You two kids have fun now."

Rachel scowls at her friend's words, her body tensing when she sees Matt sigh in relief at Santana's words. She hates when Santana's right, even more so when Santana _knows_ she's right, but she's slowly beginning to realize that agreeing to let Matt come over may have been a bad decision.

Rachel looks across at Santana pleadingly, "I thought you weren't meeting Brit til 3?"

Santana grins evilly, "That was the plan, but you know a little early surprise is always good."

"You're the worst friend ever." Rachel hisses quietly, looking over her shoulder at Matt, who is currently checking his phone.

"Have fun." Santana says brightly, and she can hear her friend cackling down the hallway before she closes the door.

Rachel sighs deeply, trying to not let Santana's words get to her. For all she knows her crazy best friend could just be seeing things. She turns to face Matt and smiles, "Let me just get the sheet music. Do you have the manuscript?"

Matt silently holds up his bag, but pats the empty space on the couch before Rachel could head towards her the kitchen, "Wait, before you do, I wanna show you something on my phone."

Matt has the habit of showing Rachel pictures of animals, ranging from lions to koalas. Rachel mentioned once how she'd love to go to the San Diego Zoo to see all the animals and Matt seems to think that was an invitation for him to show her any and all kind of animals. She thought it was cute at first, but now Santana has her second guessing everything Matt does.

Damn Santana for putting those thoughts in her head.

* * *

><p>"What's the matter with you?" Santana asks as she walks into the apartment.<p>

Rachel is currently sprawled out on the sofa, her head buried in a pillow and she just groans in response to Santana's question. She grunts when she feels a slap on her ass and Santana telling her to sit up. She tucks her feet to her chest and turns to her side, only to glare at her best friend who is looking at her amused, "I hate you."

"What the hell did I do?" Santana asks not trying to hide her smile, "Did Matt put the moves on you? Did you sleep with him? Was the sex bad? Is that why you're curled up in a ball looking like your dog died? You know, with practice I'm sure he'd get better. He didn't make you orgasm didn't he?"

"Santana! Shut up!" Rachel says but she can't help but laugh at the vulgar gesture Santana is making, her facial expressions adding to it, "Stop it! Why does everything have to be about sex for you?"

But Santana does not even fall for it and just continues to look at Rachel pointedly. Rachel sighs dramatically as she sits up, leaning against the armrest to face Santana who is looking at her eagerly. Rachel rolls her eyes, "No we did not have sex and before you ask, no, he didn't try either. You and your stupid comments. Now I'll be lucky if Matt ever speaks to me again, or if he even wants me in his musical."

"Fuck, Rachel what the hell did you do? Did you reject the guy before he could even make a move?" Santana asks dryly, but when Rachel glares at her, Santana snorts, "You rejected him _before_ he made a move? Wow Rachel, don't be a bitch now."

"He was never _going_ to make a move!" Rachel snaps, folding her arms across her chest, glaring at her best friend, "But thanks to you for planting those stupid ideas in my head, I _thought_ he was going to make a move and I politely told him that I can't have sex with him."

"Oh my god. You didn't! Rachel even _if_ he wanted to sleep with you, you don't just say it so bluntly. You tell him you're not interested and that you're not looking for anything. What's the matter with you?"

"Well I'm sorry, but the last time I said that I ended up in some kind of arrangement with a guy, who hoped I'd change my mind if we continued to have sex." Rachel says defensively, despite knowing how terrible her excuse is anyway, "Look its your fault anyway."

"How is it my fault? You're the one that couldn't tell if a guy was into you or not."

"_You_ were the one that said he probably did! So I started looking at _everything_ he did. The way he would show a line on the paper or describe a scene from the show about how much the guy loves the girl. I kept looking into _every_ move he made and kept my distance until he called me out on acting so weird. Then I just blurted out I can't have sex with him."

"Talk about word vomit." Santana says with a laugh, putting her hands in front of her face when Rachel takes the pillow and slaps her, but that doesn't stop Santana from laughing at Rachel's expense, "So what did he say after that?"

"He gave me a lecture about professionalism, how he's the director he'd never do that with one of his cast. He prefers to keep his personal life away from work, and in the end I think _he_ thinks I am in love with him, or want to sleep with him. Either way I don't know if I can face him ever again."

"Oh, this is hilarious."

"You're a terrible friend." Rachel grumbles as she buries her head in the pillow with mortification as she thinks back on the conversation with Matt.

"Okay look, what happened is embarrassing but it's not the end of the world. I'm sure Matt probably has dealt with worse. I mean Hummel is working with him. The question I have, though, is what on earth possessed you to jump the gun like that? Normally you prefer to just ignore it, hell you still haven't told jewfro next door to stuff it."

"I just didn't want a repeat of what happened last semester." Rachel says uneasily, and she knows that Santana probably is seeing right through her. Sure enough, Santana scoffs in disbelief.

"Oh please Rachel, like what happened last semester was ever going to happen with Matt. Are you attracted to him?"

"What? No, did you not hear what..."

"My point exactly. The attraction wasn't there and I was just having some fun with you. I knew if you had liked this dude, you would have started leaving hints about how cute he is or sweet or something random, but all you kept talking about is the music and the vocals and the acting. What I want to know is why you panicked so quickly at the idea of someone being into you."

"I told you, I'm not looking for anything or anyone." Rachel protests weakly.

"Rachel, that shit might have worked on Finn, but it's me." Santana says seriously, she looks at Rachel closely, "Why won't you just admit that you have feelings for Finn?"

Rachel sighs knowing she can't hide anything from her best friend, "Because if I do, then I'll have to admit I messed up the best thing that could have happen to me."

"Rach, why don't you call him?" Santana asks quietly, "We both know you're not over him and I'm sure he's in the same boat."

Rachel shakes her head, wiping her eyes. "No, Finn deserves better. I'm not even sure what I want and he _does._ It's not fair for me to go to him and tell him I think I have feelings for him, when I'm not sure I'm ready for a relationship. I can't keep pulling him like that. He deserves more than that."

"Why didn't you let me kick Sam's ass before he ran off to Connecticut?"

"San..."

"What? I'm serious! He's the reason you're completely fucked up and won't even try a new relationship. Finn's _not_ Sam, Rachel. You gotta trust him or at least try to trust him."

"Trusting Finn was never the issue, Santana." Rachel says with a sigh, "It's _me_ I'm worried about. Who's to say that whatever I did that made Sam lose interest won't happen with Finn? I couldn't handle it if I pushed him away too. Then again, I already did that and we weren't even in a relationship to begin with. It's best things ended now rather than later and we both would have gotten hurt even more."

With that said, Rachel gets off the couch signalling the end of the conversation. She's not ready to face the fact that she and her ambitions are the reason why she can't seem to keep guys interested. She makes a beeline for the kitchen island and grabs her Anatomy books, she's wasted enough time today _not_ studying as it is.

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><p>After that unfortunate day, things with Matt aren't as awkward as Rachel expects it to be. She's still thoroughly embarrassed, but she can't even apologize without explaining the whole story to Matt. And well, they are barely friends to begin with and Matt just doesn't need to know how messed up she is. So instead she just keeps things strictly professional like Matt suggests.<p>

She's on her way to the library when she gets a text from Kurt.

**Change of plans, I finally got the guitarist to show his face, but you have to meet with him now. He has a thing tonight. Meet him in the band room. It's the classroom opposite the auditorium.**

Rachel groans at the text. This is her only Friday that she doesn't have lab so she planned on catching up with work and maybe going to bed early. She's just about to reply to see if she can get the guitarist's number to reschedule for tomorrow or something, when she gets another text from Kurt.

**Don't be late. You two have four songs to learn together and that doesn't include the band. Time is ticking, Rachel!**

Rachel rolls her eyes knowing she can't put this off, especially since this guy has missed two weeks of practice as it is. With a sigh she heads down the east corridor of the building she's currently using as a short cut, knowing it will take her to the auditorium and essentially meet this infamous guitarist she keeps hearing about but has never met.

A few minutes later she's pushing open the large wooden door, enjoying the warmth of the small room, before she looks up to see someone hunched over one of those speaker boxes (Finn's told her the name of those countless times but she can't seem to remember it).

That's when she realizes she doesn't even know the guy's name. She puts her folder on the desk and clears her throat, "Excuse me? I'm..."

But Rachel trails off when the guy drops the wires in his hands and immediately spins around to face her. She gasps in surprise, while he looks at her in shock.

"Rachel...what are you doing here?" Finn asks softly.

"I'm supposed to meet the guitarist. I don't know if Kurt told you, but I'm in the musical." Rachel says sheepishly, her cheeks slightly red, as Finn just stares at her.

"I'm the guitarist." Finn says deadpan. He then runs his fingers through his hair, something Rachel knows he only does when he's frustrated. "I'm going to _kill_ my brother."

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><p><strong>Reviews are love ;)<strong>


	9. Chapter 9

**My goal is to try and update at least once a week. If things go according to plan I have just about 5 more chapters left of this story :)**

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><p>"Wait, you think Kurt planned this?" Rachel asks in disbelief as she unbuttons her coat, her body starting to overheat, she's not sure if it's due to seeing Finn for the first time in almost a month or because the natural warmth of the room. "No offence Finn, but your brother hates me."<p>

"No he doesn't." Finn snaps, as he stalks back and forth across the room, he then sighs and looks across at her apologetically, "I'm sorry, I'm not mad at you. Well not for _this_...ugh I'm going to kill him."

"I don't understand." Rachel says, it's clear that Kurt set this whole thing up, and she is now realizing that Santana probably played a part in it as well, but she doesn't understand why though. The first time Rachel even met Kurt (that didn't include him yelling behind Finn's door when they were having sex and disturbing him that is), he basically treated her like the crap under his shoe. Why would he set this whole thing up?

Rachel looks across at Finn to see he's now sitting in his chair, his phone to his ear, as he taps his foot impatiently, no doubt waiting, for whom Rachel assumes is Kurt on the other line. Rachel's heart hammers in her chest as she watches Finn tense and then scowls at his phone.

"Maybe I should go..." Rachel trails off when Finn checks his phone again and curses as he throws it on a nearby table.

"No, don't go." Finn says gruffly, finally turning to face her, "My brother sticking his nose into my fucking business isn't anything new for me. Besides we can't bail on Matt and all the other people. It's bad enough I missed two weeks cause of some band stuff."

Rachel nods uncomfortably, not sure what she's supposed to say, "If you don't mind me asking, but why would Kurt set us up like this?"

Finn rolls his eyes, "It doesn't matter. He thinks he's being a smart ass."

Rachel eyes narrows at Finn's words, "Kurt thought this is a _joke_? Judging by our brief encounter last month I can only assume he knows what happened between us, why would he set this up? Force you to work with me? That's very cruel of him."

"That's not what he was doing." Finn says defensively, "His heart is in the right place, he just doesn't understand what happened between us. Hell I'm not even sure I do."

"Finn, I'm sorry..."

"Rachel, let's not go over this same conversation again okay?" Finn says his voice void of any emotion, "You've been crystal clear about what you want, or in my case what you _don't_ want. Let's just get this over with. I'm the one that should be apologizing, I'm sorry my brother pulled you into this scheme of his."

Rachel bites her lip at his tone, clearly taking the hint that they are not going to be discussing them or their relationship, whatever it may be, "Actually I should be thanking Kurt. These past two weeks have been the most fun I've had in a while."

Finn smiles the first real smile since she walked into the room, "I'm not surprised at all."

"You're not?" She asks curiously as she takes a seat opposite him, a desk between them.

"'Course not. You love to learn new things Rachel. You spent hours making me teach you how to play the drums, just because it fascinated you."

Rachel grins sheepishly remembering that at too well, "You always look like you're having so much fun with it, I wanted see what the big fuss was."

Finn chuckles at her words, and he opens his mouth about to say something but then thought better of it, Rachel frowns as Finn entire demeanour changes and he grabs his own sheet music off the desk, "We should get started on these."

"Finn." Rachel pleads grabbing his wrist, but winces when he yanks his hand away from her, his eyes still trained on the sheet music in front of him.

When he doesn't say anything, Rachel sighs, and takes a seat on one of the chairs, grabbing her handbag too take out her own sheet music, she knows she can't push him to talk to her.

"Why did you ignore my texts?" Finn asks suddenly, much to her surprise, the hurt evident in his tone.

"I...I thought it would have been easier that way."

"Easier for me, or for _you_?" Finn asks, there is no accusation in his tone, but just pure curiosity.

Rachel sighs as she finally tears her gaze away from the piece of highlighted papers in front of her to look at Finn and her heart clenches at his hurt expression, "For both of us. I'm tired of hurting you Finn. I can't be the person you want me to be."

"Don't I get a say in that?" Finn asks, "Don't I get to decide if you're what I want?"

"Finn, I don't think..."

Finn takes her hand in hers and looks at her sincerely, "I'm not your ex Rachel. I'm not going to hurt you like that."

Rachel bites the inside of her cheek, willing herself not to cry, "You can't promise that. I'm still the same girl I was 6 months ago."

Rachel looks away not wanting Finn to see her tears, but she feels a finger on her chin and she looks across at Finn too him caress her cheek, wiping away her tears, "I don't think so. I'm pretty sure the Rachel I met four months ago would have never even _considered_ joining a musical of all things. At yet here you are. You can't blame yourself for _his_ infidelity."

Rachel pulls back wiping her tears away angrily, "You don't know the full story."

"That's only because you never told me. I don't even know the asshole's name. Tell me, let me decide if it it's too much, stop deciding for me."

Rachel bites her lip in thought at his words, unsure if she's ready to do that, "But _I_ still don't know what I want and that's not fair to you either."

Finn sighs, taking Rachel's hand in his again, rubbing his thumb along her knuckles in a soothing motion, something he use to do before when Rachel was particularly stressed out about an exam or a report she had due. Rachel never realized how much she missed his touch until that very moment, "I get that Rachel I do, but I also think you need to talk about this, it's clearly eating you up inside and I don't seeing you hurt like this."

"Why are you being so nice to me, after everything?" Rachel asks quietly afraid of the answer.

"Because, I care about you Rachel." Finn says softly, "Just because things sort blew up a month ago, doesn't mean I stopped caring about you. If anything, that's the one thing I'm sure about."

"Okay." Rachel says softly after a moment, squeezing his hand, "I'll tell you. I don't know if I'm ready to do it right this moment, but I'll try."

"Well, how about we try and learn two of these songs and after this we'll grab a cup of coffee from the shop and find somewhere warm to talk?" Finn suggests as he tucks a piece of Rachel's hair behind her ear.

"I'd like that."

"Good, besides I think Kurt would kill us if we didn't at least get through one song. He may have done this for my benefit, but we're still part of the musical and if we don't pull our weight, I wouldn't hear the end of it." Finn says with a small laugh, the image of a pissed off Kurt actually easing the tension immediately.

Rachel giggles at the thought and picks back up her forget sheets of music, "Well let's start with the first song, Matt said this is in the first act scene 2 and the only instrumentals is your guitar. What? Why are you looking at me like that?"

"You're like a little theatre nerd using the lingo, it's cute." Finn says with a smile, making Rachel blush.

"I'm really enjoying every aspect of this." Rachel says truthfully.

"I can see that."

The rest of the session goes smoothly, she and Finn seem to have slipped easily back into their previous banter and they go through the songs together, Rachel impressing Finn with her vocal talents. The upcoming conversation they will be having momentarily forgotten as she focuses on learning the songs with Finn. It's the first time she thinks everything will be okay after all.

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><p>The conversation goes better than she expects, she cries almost as much as she expected, but Finn just sits and listens, he doesn't gives his opinions about Sam or tells her what he thinks or even pushes her to talk about <em>their<em> relationship status. Instead he just listens and holds her and it's just _nice_. They then discuss on a time to meet again to get started on the third song and review the two songs they were able to complete earlier and then part ways.

It's not until she's on her way home she realizes, she might be ready to take things further with Finn. One of her biggest fears was always that he'd hear want happened and then decide that her baggage was too much to handle and just leave, but Finn did not give any indication that he would even considering that. After she told him the entire story, he then offered to be an ear to listen to if she ever wanted to talk more about it or just vent again. He was the perfect gentleman and Rachel is slowly beginning to realize just how much he cares for her and she can't deny the fact that she might care for him just as much if not more. She thinks it's time she starts listening to her heart instead of her head

Rachel walks home the chilly February air numbing her cheeks but she can't even care because she feels so much _lighter_ than she has in _months_. She's never really realized how much she needed to talk about Sam until that moment. Sure, she and Santana have talked about it somewhat, but most of the time it involved Santana calling Sam and their ex best friend ever crude name in the book. At the time that is what she need, but now she just wanted a listening air and it feels good to get it off her chest and she feels somewhat more at ease now that Finn knows her _whole _story.

Rachel is about to turn down her street, when her phone chimes indicating a text, she quickly slips off her gloves to grab her phone and frowns when she sees a text from Santana

**Fucking heater broke, Mr Jones says he can't fix it till 5. Meet me at the coffee house for some java.**

Rachel sighs in annoyance but turns around nonetheless, glad that she hadn't made it to their apartment and the coffee house is only two streets away anyway, she quickly sends Santana back a text requesting her usual and heads off to the coffee house.

A few minutes later, Rachel walks into the coffee house basking in the warmth of the room, and then smiles when she sees Santana occupying not one but two sofas in the corner of the room. Rachel shakes her head with a smile as she walks up to the other girl thanking her for the coffee as she throws her coat onto the sofa.

"One day they'll kick you out for taking up all the space." Rachel teases as she takes a seat, sipping her warm coffee, just the way she likes it.

"Two people, two couches. I think my maths accurate." Santana says easily, as she caps her highlighter, she looks at Rachel closely. "Well someone's in a good mood. Care to share?"

Rachel smirks, sending her friend a pointed look, holding back a laugh when Santana gasps, "You had sex!"

"I don't kiss and tell." Rachel says, trying to keep a straight face, but Santana's incredulous expression is too much and Rachel bursts out laughing.

"Now that's just mean Rach." Santana says with a pout, "Here, I am just interested in my best friend well being."

"Oh drop the act San, you're looking for ammo to tease me about Matt...wait who did you think I said sex with anyway?"

"I don't know maybe another theatre nerd you met?" Santana shrugs, "I had so many good jokes for that one."

"Sorry to disappoint you." Rachel says dryly, "Besides just because I am spending so much time on the musical does mean I can't meet someone elsewhere."

"Like who?" Santana asks amused, and Rachel can't even be offended by her friend's words because they both know the likelihood of her meeting someone elsewhere was slim to none.

"Finn?" Rachel offers casually watching as Santana's eyes widen in horror and then narrow in realization.

"How did you figure it out?"

"You thought I _wouldn't_ figure it out? I went to meet the guitarist today, and imagine my surprise when I see its _Finn_ of all people. How else would I have even talked to Finn's brother if I hadn't gone to karaoke night _and_ sang that song a song _you_ chose might I add?"

"I told Hummel I didn't want to get involved in that shit." Santana grumbles.

Rachel giggles as she stands up and Santana braces herself, but much to the other girl's surprise Rachel slides into the seat next to her friend and engulfs her in a hug, "Thank you, for being the stubborn, nosy pigheaded friend you are and never listening to me when I tell you to butt out."

Santana laughs and pulls back looking at Rachel closely, and she wiggles her eyebrows suggestively, "So you played hide the salami with the frat boy then?"

"Santana!" Rachel gasps pulling away, "Must you ruin a perfectly nice moment with your vulgar words?"

"Rachel, you're avoiding."

"We did not have sex." Rachel says exasperated, "But we did talk, not so much about us, but I told him about Sam. He told me about his past, but then again he told me about that from early one."

At the mention of her ex, Santana's entire demeanour changes and she sobers up immediately, "and you're okay?"

"I'm great." Rachel says with a smile, "It was hard to talk about, but good. Finn and I have no secrets anymore."

"So that means...c'mon Rach you're killing me with the suspense here!"

Rachel giggles at her friend's expense, "We talked but we haven't defined who or what we are."

"Rachel." Santana bemoans.

"No, it's a good thing. I think Finn is waiting on me to make a move." Rachel says, "And I think I'm ready to do that."

Santana looks at Rachel closely and then rolls her eyes, "You're going to go all out with this aren't you? Instead of just making a simple move or telling him you want more. You're going for the enchilada of grand gestures."

Rachel pouts at her friends words, "But I want it to be special! I mean I'm going to tell him I want to take things slow, but I'm ready to try a relationship with him, but I don't want to just tell him. I want to..."

"Write it in the sky?" Santana asks dryly.

"Now you're just making fun of me." Rachel says with a frown, "I want to do something special for him. I still need to make up for how badly I treated him last month."

"Rachel, you had wild sex with him continuously for three weeks, the only thing he _wanted_ in return was to have a relationship. You're giving him that chance, I think all is forgiven. If not we can always go back to Victoria Secret and pick something up. I'm sure that will make him happy."

"Sex isn't going to be part of the equation. Don't look at me like that, I'm being serious, I want to focus on building a relationship and just _date_. Take things slow."

"It's cute that you think sex won't factor in." Santana teases, "You two were like dogs in heat. I'm surprised you were able to keep it to your apartments."

At Santana's words Rachel's cheeks flame and she looks away guilty. Santana gasps slapping Rachel's thigh, "Rachel Berry! Why am I only now finding out about this? Tell me where! Was is the library? No can't be, you can't keep that big mouth of yours shut."

"If you must know...and I know you _must_. It was in the storage room." Rachel tilts her head gesturing to the door a few feet behind them, where one of the works just came out with a few boxes of napkins.

"You little hussy!" Santana cackles

"Shut up Santana!" Rachel moans, hitting her friend on the shoulder, "Can I tell you about the date I'm planning? Or are you going to tease me some more?"

"I get a choice?"

"_Santana_."

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><p>Rachel and Finn spend that weekend trying to catch Finn up with the songs so that by the time rehearsals on Monday he would somewhat up to speed. Things aren't as awkward anymore since their talk, but Rachel can tell Finn is still hesitant on how he behaves around her and she wants to rectify that immediately. Things are comfortable but she doesn't want Finn to feel like he has to walk around egg shells with her sometimes.<p>

So on Sunday evening when they were packing up for the evening, Rachel was about to tentatively bring up the suggestion of going out when Finn suddenly speaks breaking the comfortable silence.

"Hey, you wanna grab an early dinner?" Finn asks sheepishly.

Rachel looks at him startled not expecting that, but Finn on seeing her expressions backtracks immediately, "I mean as friends, only if you want to. No big deal if you have plans or anything."

Rachel giggles slightly at his nervous rambling, Finn's woes inadvertently easing _her_ nerves about asking him out. She places her hand over his and smiles at him cheekily, "Only if you let me take_ you_ out skating at the lake next week."

Finn's eyes widen comically, "You...do you...I mean...are you sure this is what you want?"

Rachel smiles warmly at him, tugging him towards her, their arms hands still clasped, "I'm the one asking you out on a date aren't I?

Instead of getting a verbal response Finn dips his head and pulls her into a deep kiss, Rachel sighs against his mouth, her body tingling, but before he could deepen the kiss she pulls back and Finn looks at her sheepishly, "Too fast?"

"No, that's fine but I do want to take this slowly. I don't want to pick up where we left off." She says truthfully, deciding being honest is the best way to go no matter how Finn may take it.

"Meaning, you want to start over?" Finn asks frowning slightly in confusion.

"Meaning I want us to _date_ no sex, _yet_." Rachel says sheepishly, her cheeks pinking up slightly, "I know things are different now, but we started off with sex. I want do things properly. So, no sex."

"You mean like _ever_?" Finn asks, and Rachel has to bite her lip to hold back a laugh at his crestfallen expression, that he _tries_ to hide but fails miserably at it.

"No silly. Just let's take things slow okay? See where it goes." She says softly, her eyes twinkling as Finn leans forward and captures her lips in his own.

"Finn." She protests lightly against his lips, but her hand moves to grip the lapels of his shirt, tugging him closer, instead of pushing him away.

"Slow...that's what I'm doing..._slow._" Finn murmurs softly, his own hand running through her hair, before he slips his tongue between her parted lips.

She hums in approval as they continue to kiss, neither of their hands wandering, nor are they deepening the kiss further. Instead they stand in the empty band room, kissing lazily, no care in the world, and that's exactly what Rachel needed in that moment.

"Finn,"

"No yet." Finn murmurs, his tongue caressing her bottom lip before he tugs her lip between his teeth.

Rachel giggles into the kiss before she pulls back licking her lips, she looks at Finn to see his lips are swollen and his eyes are dilated and he's looking at her slightly dazed. She loves that she still has that affect on him, even with a simple kiss. "I think we should go for that dinner."

Finn grins sheepishly, "Sorry."

"No more apologies from either of us okay? New rule." She then gets on her tip toes and gives him a chaste kiss, "There. Sealed with a kiss."

Finn chuckles and grabs her coat helping her into it, "So where do you want to go for dinner?"

"I could do with some Thai." Rachel says thoughtfully, her mouth already watering at the thought of some fried rice, veggies and chicken.

"My trucks across the street." Finn says as he pulls on his tuque and then grabs his guitar and holding out his hand to Rachel who bites her lip in thought at his outstretched hand, "What?"

"You're going to think I'm being crazy." Rachel says sheepishly her cheeks reddening.

"Rachel, you once organized all my boxers in according to colours while you waited for me to finish band practice. I'm pretty sure I already think you're crazy."

"Hey!" Rachel protests, folding her arms across her chest, knowing he was teasing her.

"I like your crazy though." Finn offers, clearly thinking she's actually upset with him.

Rachel rolls her eyes at him, "No need to placate me Finn. It's silly, but I'm going to tell you anyway. This is not our first real date."

Finn frowns at her words, "So...we're not going for dinner then?"

"No we are, but as friends."

"But you just said..."

Rachel places a finger on his lips silencing him, "Let me finish. What I mean is I want our first _real_ date to be when we go ice skating next week. So no hand holding, nothing _coupley_ and that means no _kissing_."

Finn eyebrows scrunch up in thought and then smirks at her, "Who says I was going to kiss you? I don't kiss on the first date Rachel, I'm not that kind of guy."

Rachel giggles wholeheartedly at his antics and grabs her handbag, "Let's go you big goof."

"Hey, I expect you to _woo_ me on this first _real_ date woman. I'm not no cheap date."

"I thought the guy did the wooing?" Rachel asks her eyes twinkling in merit as she looks up at him, taking a step closer to him.

"Yea, but you were the one that asked _me_ out. It's tradition that the asker is the one to woo the askee." Finn says brightly.

"That's not even a word." Rachel protests giggling at him.

"Shh, just go with it." Finn says softly, before he dips his head towards hers, their lips just barely grazing.

"I thought you don't kiss on the first date?" Rachel teases, but gets on her tip toes nonetheless and meets him halfway.

"Good thing, this isn't a date then." Finn says cheekily, before his lips covers her own.

Rachel sighs against his mouth, her fingers playing with back of his tuque, tugging on it lightly. She feels Finn's hand along her sides and slowly move from her back to grab her ass, she nips his lips one more time before she reluctantly pulls back. She points a finger at him accusingly, "No frisky business mister."

"Hey we haven't left for this non-date yet." Finn says cheekily, but steps back any way. He picks up his guitar again and looks across at her with a smile, "C'mon bro lets go for dinner."

"Did you just call me _bro_." Rachel asks incredulously, but smiling at him teasingly, "I hope you and Kurt don't do what you just did with _this _bro."

"Rachel." Finn moans, "You just ruined a good joke."

"Well don't call me bro then." Rachel says pointedly as she walks to the exit, she turns around to see Finn shaking his head repeatedly, obviously trying to physically shake the image out of his head, "Are you coming? Or am I going to find another _bro_ to have dinner with?"

"Once it's a non-date dinner you can go find as many bros as you want." Finn teases, grunting when Rachel elbows him in the gut as he holds up the door for her.

"Wow, you're violent. Boy, am I glad I'm not taking _you_ out on a date." Finn says easily, "Good thing, I don't buy meals for my bros either."

"Okay you made your point," Rachel huffs, pulling the strap on her handbag, "It's silly for me to expect us to go on this dinner and it not be like a date. I just really wanted our first _real_ date to be special."

"Rach," Finn calls out, grabbing her wrist, pulling her to a stop, when she turns to face him he tugs on the strap of her cap, "It's going to be special no matter where we are okay? Just the fact that we're here doing this? It's special enough for me."

Rachel sighs at his words, hating him just a tiny little bit for turning her into mush from just his words, "Okay."

Finn wraps his arms around her waist as the head towards his car, "But if anyone asks, we'll tell them our first official date, we went ice skating."

Rachel sends Finn a grin in appreciation. She loves the fact that he not only gets her crazy but goes along with it as well.

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><p><strong>Originally I planned to incorporate their skating date as part of this chapter but that went on much longer than I anticipated, so instead there is just an extra chapter of fluff to look forwards too :)<strong>

**Also I know many of you probably want to know what happened with Sam and Rachel, you will find out soon enough **

**Reviews are love ;)**


	10. Chapter 10

_If there is anyone still reading this, god bless you, and I hope this chapter was worth the wait. I'm sorry for the delay._

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><p>Wednesday morning Rachel is running around her and Santana's apartment looking for her skates, cursing herself for not looking for them soon. Her hair is loosely hanging on her shoulders and she's dressed in only her sweats and one of Finn's hoodies that she's had and never returned, thrown over her tank top.<p>

Rachel checks in the coat closet one more time and grins in triumphant when she sees her skates buried under two woolen blankets.

She's about to head back to her room to change, when there is a knock at the front door, Rachel turns to the door with a frown but opens it anyway, gasping when she sees Finn standing on the other side, a bouquet of pink lilies in his hand and his skates hooked over his shoulder and he's grinning brightly.

"Hey Rach." Finn smiles brightly presenting the flowers to her, when she doesn't take it he frowns, "Did I get the day wrong?"

"I thought I was going to meet you at your house?" Rachel says sheepishly, taking the flowers from him and going on her tiptoes to kiss him on the cheek, "Thank you. These are lovely."

"You said you wanted this to be our first _official_ date, and it wouldn't be one if the guy doesn't meet the girl at her house." Finn says with a grin, as he closes the door behind him.

"I thought because I asked _you_ out that meant, I was the one doing the _wooing_?" Rachel teases as she walks back into the living room the flowers now in a vase and placing them on the coffee table.

"I'm a traditional guy, don't worry you can make it up to me some _other_ way." Finn says suggestively, winking at her just as he plops onto the sofa.

Rachel watches as he toes off his shoes and puts his feet up on the coffee table, grabbing the remote as he gets comfortable. She bites her lip in thought, when she realizes they really just can't _start_ over like she wants. There is too much history between them, so many firsts they've already crossed and a certain level of familiarity that can't just disappear because she wants to start over with Finn.

Before she crosses the room to her bedroom she looks across at Finn, who sends her a smile in return just as he turns his attention back to the television. She can't help but enjoy the fact that she likes that he's so comfortable here. She's still scared of where this relationship will go, but she's trying her hardest to just live in the moment and enjoy Finn's company.

About 90 minutes later they are both at the local ice skating rink, that is, the small outdoor man made rink just on the other side of campus and everyone in the neighbourhood usually comes to ice skate. Seeing as it is late Wednesday morning there aren't many people on the ice, and Rachel looks across at Finn to see that he's looking at the ice apprehensively, his grip tightening on his skates as they move towards one of the vacant benches to put on their skates.

Finn takes a seat on the bench first and looks at the skates with a bit of redemption, Rachel looks at Finn's skates to see that there is a little tag hooked onto the lacing. Upon closer inspection, Rachel realizes it's the _price_ tag, "Finn? Have you ever skated before?"

Finn looks up at her sheepishly, abandoning the skate in his hand, "Is it that obvious?"

Rachel giggles as she tugs the tag off the skate, "Well for starters, this gave it away. If you never skated before why agree to this?"

Finn rubs the back of his neck sheepishly, "You asked and I thought..."

Rachel sighs as she takes a seat on the bench her gloved hands taking one of his own, "Finn, I know things have been a little shaky with us. Which I know is entirely my fault, and I'm trying I really am, but at the same time you can't be afraid to tell me what you think. I know we kinda got our wires crossed before but we both have to be honest right?"

By the time she's finished Finn is grinning at her widely, "What?"

"I was just going to say that, I thought you could teach me. It would be nice for you to teach me something for a change." Finn says his eyes twinkling in amusement, "But good to see where you stand."

"Finn!" Rachel protests her cheeks reddening in embarrassment, as she slaps his shoulders, "You made me go on and on."

Finn shrugs sheepishly, "It's cute. Now, come on coach, teach me your ways."

Rachel crinkles her nose at his words, "That's not some sort of sexual innuendo is it?"

"Only if you want it to be." Finn says winking at her, and then laughing at Rachel's shocked expression.

"First date Finn." Rachel says with a pout, willing herself not to smile when Finn kisses her cheek, his hot breath tickling her ear as he speaks.

"Everyone flirts on the first date. I'm doing everything by the book Ms. Berry." Finn speaks softly, Rachel can't help but lick her lips at the way he's gazing at _her _lips.

Rachel throws all caution out the window and shifts closer to him, she places her hand on his thigh and is just about to lean into him, when she finds her lips pressed against Finn's finger. Rachel opens her eyes in shock, Finn's finger still firmly pressed to her lips and he's grinning at her. He pulls back waving said finger at her, "I don't kiss on the first date...well especially when the date hasn't even _started_. You take me for a hussy Ms. Berry?'

Rachel giggles at his words, grabbing his still wiggling finger and squeezing it affectionately, glad that at least he seems to be following her crazy rules even if _she _isn't, "Thank you."

Finn's smile softens as he tugs one of her pigtails that is peaking out from under her hat, "We're aiming for the perfect first date right?"

Rachel cheeks redden at his words, when he says it like that she realizes how crazy and unreasonable she really does sound. She grabs up her first skate, loosening the lacing as she looks across at him sheepishly, "I know it's stupid of me, to be so anal about this, but thank you for humouring me.'

"I'm not humouring you. I mean, we both know there is no such thing as a perfect date, but I understand where you are coming from. We can't exactly start over from scratch, there is too much history between us, but we can get our first _real_ date where we both know exactly where we stand and it's under no false pretenses.

Rachel heart warms at his words and this time she leans forward placing a soft kiss on his lips before he can even react, when she pulls back she smiles at him impishly, as he tugs her towards him for another kiss, "You're breaking your own rules."

"I seem to do that a lot around you." Rachel says softly, biting her lip nervously as she looks at him.

"Is that a good thing or a bad thing?" Finn asks and she can hear the uncertainty in his voice.

Rachel places her hand on his thigh squeezing it as she leans and just before she kisses him she whispers softly, "I think it's a _very_ good thing."

When Rachel feels Finn's tongue probing her lips to gain access, trying to deepen the kiss that's when she knows she has to put a stop to things. She pulls back and smiles at him, "We are not going to make out on this park bench. I'm not breaking _all_ my rules. Get those skates on Hudson, let's see if you're as coordinated with your feet as you are with your hands.

Finn eyebrows raise at Rachel's comment, he smirks at her about to make his own suggestive remark, when Rachel places her own finger on his lips, "Don't. I was talking about your drumming. PG date Hudson, my first dates are always PG."

Finn holds up his hands in mock defence, "Did I say anything?"

* * *

><p>Forty minutes later and Rachel is soon realizing that Finn lacks <em>any<em> kind of coordination with his feet. She's pretty sure he has _two_ left feet. He's currently standing directly behind her holding onto her waist slowly letting her set the pace as they move along the ice.

They tried holding hands but that ended up with both of them on their asses. They tried her pulling him along facing him so that he can learn the rhythm of it, but Finn saw a mother teaching her _four_ year old the same thing and he put a stop to that one time.

"It's no big deal everyone learns at some point in their life." Rachel said trying to reassure him as she teaches him how to redistribute his weight so he doesn't fall yet again.

"Rachel, a five year old just did_ circles_ around me and I fell on my ass." Finn grumbles as he allows her to help him up, "Can't we do it another way, so I don't look like some old person that can't even walk?"

"Technically, you don't _walk_ on the ice. You..." But Rachel trails off when Finn sends her a glare, "Okay how about you hold on to me and I just pull us both along?"

So, now they are just skating along with Finn behind Rachel, his knees bent slightly but she's sure he's still towering over her and his hands having a vice grip on her waist, which is nice, but Rachel actually like to _see_ her date, "Hey Finn?"

"Yea?" Finn calls over her shoulder.

"Do you want to stop?"

"Are you sure?"

"I would actually like to see you and _talk_ to you." Rachel says sheepishly as she places her hands over his own gloved hands and they come to a halt near the edge of the rink and Finn collapses onto the snow sigh in relief.

"Oh thank god." Finn groans out in relief as he stretches out on the snow.

Rachel laughs as she moves next to him, gingerly sitting on the snow so she can take off her skates, their boots only a few feet away from them, "Why didn't you say something?"

"You seemed to be having fun. I was just hoping I wouldn't make us both fall _again_." Finn says his arms stretched out across the snow, "Would it look bad if I pulled down my pants and put my ass in snow?"

"Finn!" Rachel exclaims in horror at his words, slapping him across his chest, "There are _children_ around!"

"My ass_ hurts_." Finn complains, groaning as he sits up to take off his own skates, "You owe me for this Rachel."

"I'm not going to massage your ass." Rachel says in amusement as she grabs both their boots, bringing Finn's boots for him, "I'm pretty sure that _not_ standard first date etiquette."

Finn looks across at her amused, "I don't know what kind of first dates _you_ are accustom too, but I was just talking about you making me some chicken noodle soup. But if you want to throw in a butt massage, I'm game."

"There is a bowl of chicken noodle soup and hot chocolate _with_ marshmallows waiting for you at my apartment." Rachel says, as she stands up holding out a hand for Finn, to help him up but she suddenly screams in surprise when Finn yanks her down on top of him.

"Finn!" Rachel protests slapping his chest, but otherwise not making an effort to actually get off of him, "Why did you do that, now we're both going to be all wet."

"You make it too easy." Finn wiggles his eyebrows at her, hooking his hand around her neck and pulling her towards him, "You know I like you all _wet_."

"That's not very PG now is it?" Rachel whispers, just before she lowers her lips onto his own, she sighs against his mouth, before she starts to feel the coldness of the snow starting to seep through her jeans and she sighs pulling back, "C'mon lets go back to my place to warm up."

At Finn's look Rachel just sends him a wink as she turns on her heel not waiting for him, laughing as he calls out that that she doesn't play fair.

* * *

><p>A few minutes later both Rachel and Finn are sitting on the couch each of them nursing a cup of hot chocolate, having changed out of their wet clothes. Finn is wearing his sweater and a sweatpants he'd left over by Rachel, months ago that she never got around to giving him back.<p>

"I like this." Finn says softly, just before he takes a sip of his hot cocoa

Rachel looks across at the television screen, wincing when she sees a guy jump into a grocery cart and his friend pushes him down a steep hill. The camera man laughing hysterically when the grocery cart hits a rock and both the man and it goes tumbling down the rest of the hill.

"I'd hope so, seeing as you chose this atrocious show. Why are people such idiots, anyway? I mean what posses a person to think, 'oh I'm going to jump in a grocery cart and ride down a _hill_?'' Rachel shakes her head, tearing her gaze away from the screen to look across at Finn.

"I was actually talking about _this_. Us just hanging out, its nice." Finns says in amusement, as he wraps an arm around Rachel's shoulders and pulls her to him.

Rachel grins sheepishly, her cheeks reddening, as she lays her head on Finn's chest, sighing at the natural warmth of his body. "I miss hanging out with you too."

Finn places at brief kiss on the top of Rachel's head, as his fingers move slowly along her forearm, "Despite what my ass would say, I really did have fun today."

"Well you get to choose our next date, so maybe you can choose one where I end up on my ass all day."

Finn pulls back and looks at her suggestively, "Really? What happened to keeping this date PG?"

Rachel scowls, knowing he's teasing her and pokes him in the chest pointedly, "My comment was PG, _you_ just have a dirty mind."

"We were talking about your ass, babe. Of _course_ my mind went there." Finn says tugging her onto him, as he lies back against the armrest, so that Rachel is practically on top of him. His hands go around her waist and starts making small circles on her lower back, "You know how much I love your ass."

To emphasis his point his hands move slowly down her back and over her sweats to squeeze them playfully, but before he could move them Rachel sighs and rocks her hips against his. At his surprised expression she grins sheepishly, "Maybe keeping it PG was silly of me."

Before he can comment, she leans forward and presses her lips against his. They both sigh into the kiss, Finn's hands begin to move up and down her back, his hands just barely skim under the waistband of her sweats when the front door slams, and a loud groan is heard.

"Oh god. Does this mean I have to pull out my earplugs again?" Santana bemoans as she walks up to the couple, not at all deterred by their current position.

She leans over the couch and grins at Finn and then looks across at Rachel pointedly, "Hey gigantor. So much for no sex ugh Rach?"

"We were not going to have sex!" Rachel says with a huff, as she slides off of Finn and glares at her best friend who simply waves and laughs as she heads into her bedroom.

"Well Finn certainly seems to be rounding up to third base there." Santana points out, just before she slams her bedroom door shut.

Finn frowns at the girl's words and looks across at Rachel, "She does realize I barely got to second base right?"

Rachel rolls her eyes, but when she feels Finn take her hand and tug her towards him she shakes her head, "Nope. As rude as she is, Santana did make a point, and we did make those rules for a reason."

"Technically, you made the rules and I just followed along." Finn points out, but when Rachel glares at him, he holds up his hands in defense, "But I do agree with you, and we should wait for sex... I mean not that I don't want to have sex with you...You're hot Rachel...I mean..."

Rachel giggles wholeheartedly and grabs the neck of his hoodie, placing a firm kiss on his lips, ending his rambles, "Stop talking."

They kiss lazily for a few minutes, neither of them taking it further than that, until Finn pulls away, his lips slightly swollen and his eyes dilated. He presses his head onto her forehead and sighs, "I should get going, before we do something we'll both regret."

Rachel sighs, but knows he 's also right. She kisses him briefly before untangling herself from him, "You're right. We're still on for tomorrow to practice the final song?"

Finn nods as he grabs his phone slipping it into the pocket of his jeans, "Yes and Kurt most likely will be coming 'cause he needs to make sure we don't embarrass him before we perform the numbers in front of the cast and crew."

Rachel rolls her eyes as she grabs Finn's scarf and warps it around his neck, "He can be so dramatic."

"He thinks we've been sleeping together since that first meeting." Finn says in amusement, "And I kind of never corrected him."

"Finn!" Rachel says appalled slapping his chest, glaring at him.

"Not like that. It just so easy to get under his skin. So when he asks _every_ night how far we've gotten, I'd imply that we got to it at "some point". I never knew someone could turn so many shades of red." Finn says in amusement but then winces when Rachel slaps him again.

"No wonder your brother has been giving me the cold shoulder! He thinks I'm unprofessional!" Rachel growls and is about to step away when Finn grabs her hand pulling her back to him.

"No, Rach. I always assured Kurt after that we are very much on top of the songs. If he's giving you a hard time I'll talk to him."

Rachel sighs wrapping her arms around his waist and placing her chin on his chest, looking up at him, "No. I think he's just on edge as opening night is looming closer and closer."

"Its still fun to mess with him though." Finn says as he rubs Rachel's arms, "I should go."

Rachel nods as she gets on her tiptoes, kissing him softly, "I had fun today. I'll see you tomorrow."

* * *

><p>"No!" Kurt screeches pulling Finn away from Rachel yet again, "This is not kindergarten! She doesn't get a kiss every time she sings the song right. Also? Your pitch was off."<p>

"Dude, what kind of school did _you_ go to?" Finn asks in amusement, not at all deterred by Kurt's tone.

"I was not off!" Rachel says with a huff, crossing her arms over her chest as she glares at Kurt in annoyance, "I may not know music like you do, but I _do_ know that my pitch was _perfect_. _Furthermore_..."

"Rach. Ignore Kurt, he's just snippy cause he's not getting any." Finn says, placing a hand on Rachel's shoulder, stopping her mid rant. "C'mon lets do the last song and then we can go grab lunch before you have lab."

"Well that's hardly a reason to _lie_ about my performance, just because Blaine refuses to put out." Rachel says turning on _Kurt _much to Finn _and_ Kurt's horror, "I didn't think you'd be the type to pressure a person Kurt. I'm sure Blaine has a reasonably good reason for not wanting to have sex."

"_Rachel!_" Finn groans as he sees Kurt's ears turn red and he closes his eyes waiting for the inevitable blow up.

"_Look_ Ms. thing, just because you are now _fucking_ my brother for more than just your jollies, does not give you the right to butt into _my_ love life, got?" Kurt says his eyes narrowing at Rachel, "I could careless that my brother decided to let you string him along yet again, but stay out of _my_ business."

"_Dude_." Finn calls out in annoyance, not liking the way Kurt is speaking to Rachel, but his warning goes on deaf ears as Rachel retaliates to Kurt's comment in stride.

Finn groans rubbing his temples in frustration, he should have known when Kurt suggested (more like demanded) he watch them perform, that it would not have ended well, this is the fourth time he's sat in on one of their sessions over the last three weeks and Kurt and Rachel have argued at every single session. He's just about to break them up when a low whistled is heard next to him.

Finn looks across to his right to see Matt looking at the two in amusement, seemingly unaffected by the verbal sparring going on in front of him, "What did you do?"

"What makes you think I did something?" Finn says with a huff, glaring at his old friend.

"Because those two only fight about you. I've been dealing with this for _weeks _now, and I gotta say Finn, you're lucky you're my friend or else I would have gotten another guitarist weeks ago. Especially since I've had to use the school band to help out till you could step in." Matt said seriously, but then he grins at Finn, his eyes twinkling, "So did you hear any word about it, yet?"

Finn grins in return, glancing at Rachel briefly, who is still in a heated conversation with her brother, he's pretty sure he heard the word animal sweater, and he just rather not know what those two are arguing about now. Once he knows Rachel is occupied he grins at Matt, "I'm suppose to get the call later this week. Everyone's kind of on edge at the moment, trying to set things in place if things _do_ happen. We've all been so busy these last three weeks we've probably had two practices at most and that turned into more of a meeting than anything. I don't want to jinx it, but I think this might be it."

"Nervous?" Matt asks knowingly.

"Scared as fuck." Finn says truthfully, he looks across at Rachel and is surprised to see that she and Kurt are now discussing one of her songs somewhat civilly. But the unease feeling in stomach returns when thinks about Rachel and how his latest news will affect _them_.

"Have you told Rachel?"

"Told Rachel what?" Rachel pipes up pulling away from the sheet music in front of her and walking over to the two smiling at Matt in greeting, before she looked across at Finn curiously.

Finn looks at her in alarm, but Matt on seeing his friend's uneasy expression, steps in easily, "That you two will be joining us at practice tomorrow to do your number for the cast and crew."

"Oh!" Rachel says in surprise, clutching the piece of paper in her hand tightly, "I didn't think it would be so soon. I mean I knew we had to practice with the cast...but I thought we had more time. Maybe we should go over the first song a few more times, Kurt's right I did sound a little off and I don't want..."

"Babe, hey look at me." Finn calls out, grasping her shoulders, to gain her attention, "We'll be fine. _You'll_ be fine."

"Its easy for you to say Finn. You perform in front of countless people millions of time. The only persons I've performed for is my cadaver in lab when I'm..._oh no_, LAB! Crap." Rachel groans shoving her sheet music into Finn's surprised hands, silent cursing herself for her absentmindedness "I gotta go."

"Rachel, wait what's going on? I thought you said you had your Anatomy lab at 4, its not even 1 yet." Finn asks confused, watching as Rachel scrabbles to get her stuff in order and just shoving her books into her bag.

"Yes, but I forgot I have Micro at noon." Rachel bemoans, "I can't believe I forgot that, these labs are worth 10% of my grade!"

"I'll call you later?" Finn asks, but he's talking to the air, because Rachel is already speeding out of the room, barely even waving at them as she pulls her scarf around her neck.

* * *

><p>"So what are we?" Finn asks suddenly.<p>

Rachel freezes in surprise at his words. It was Sunday afternoon and she was spending the day with Finn and his friends watching mindless movies. There was a lull in conversation when everyone was more occupied with the movie than anything else. Kurt and Blaine were sharing one of the armchairs, Finn told her they had sort out their issues and were back to normal. Rachel still wasn't sure exactly what the issue was but she can tell that things between the two boys aren't as tense as she saw previously. But her argument with Kurt from the previous week, still fresh in her memory, she knew not to ask about that.

Artie is seated in his usual place on the other side of the room, but instead of watching the show, he has his laptop on his lap and was typing away furiously on it. He'd been doing a lot of that lately, and when Rachel asked Finn about his friend's recent attachment to his laptop, Finn simply brushed it off and said Artie has always been a computer nerd. Sensing that it was probably something personal, Rachel never bothered to push it, after all what Artie did in his own time was hardly _her_ concern. She was more curious as to why _Finn_ was always so interested in what Artie was doing.

"Dude, you're such a girl." Puck says with amusement, as he grabs a beer from the fridge and plopped onto the couch next to Rachel, purposely jostling Rachel towards Finn.

If anything _Puck's_ recent absence is probably what has Rachel the most confused, today is the first day she's seen Puck since she and Finn started dating over four weeks ago, which is a surprise to say the least. Not to mention she hasn't seen Amy at all, usually Finn would babysit Amy, but even that hasn't happened yet. When Rachel asked about that particular topic, Finn didn't even answer her, he simply changed the subject or distracted her, and while Rachel enjoyed Finn's form of distraction, pleasantly so, she was still very curious about the latest dynamic shifts among he and his friends.

"Do you think now is the best time to bring this up? In front of your friends?" Rachel asks quietly, her tone filled with incredulity at Finn's timing.

"Berry, we once heard you and my boy going at it in the closet of the studio, trust me, you have no secrets." Puck says in amusement, draping his arm over Rachel's shoulder, and laughing wholeheartedly when she shoves it away.

"The walls in this apartment aren't exactly thin." Kurt says deadpan, and Rachel cheeks redden, knowing that Kurt is _not_ talking about the same situation as Puck.

"That said, we are all curious about this no sex thing you two have going on. Its very middle school of you two. Did he ask you to go steady?" Artie asks teasingly, as he closes his laptop and gives Rachel and Finn his full attention.

"Actually, Artie I think that was Finn's way of asking her to be his girlfriend. Maybe I should get his old Letterman jacket from high school so he can give her." Blaine teases sitting up looking at them, Finn's cheeks now red in embarrassment.

"I'd hope she _is_ his girlfriend, with the amount of times I've walked in on them going at it." Kurt says dryly, he on the other hand remained focused on the movie they were watching.

"Dude, you broke the no sex rule. High five!" Puck says enthusiastically raising his hand, but lowering it when Finn glares at him.

"Why is it, despite the fact that _we_ are dating, I feel like I'm in a relationship you and _all_ of your friends?" Rachel asks in exasperation looking across at Finn, and pointedly ignoring Puck who chimes in that he's down with that suggestion.

"So then, we are in a relationship right?" Finn clarifies, sitting up slightly, looking at her nervously, and Rachel's annoyance melts away at his vulnerable look.

Rachel turns her body so she's fully facing Finn, grasping his hands and ignoring their audience, if Finn wants to bring this up in front of his friends well then she's going to assure him, that she's just as comfortable being in front of his friends as he is in front of her best friend. Even if Santana does scare Finn from time to time. "Finn, this isn't a casual thing for me. I told you, I would have never come to you unless I was 100% sure I wanted to be with you. I won't pull you along like that again. You know I still have my issues about things, but I'm here and I'm trying, and if you still don't trust me maybe we shouldn't be doing this then. "

"Hey, hey, babe. I'm sorry, you know that's not it...I..." Finn then looks around the room and he suddenly seems to remember they _do_ have an audience. He rolls his eyes and shoves Puck away who is now leaning towards them looking at them with mock fascination, and he yanks Rachel to her feet and pulling her to his room.

Rachel looks at him in amusement as she takes a seat on his bed, "I was fine with having that conversation in front of your friends."

"You made your point. I should have waited till we were alone." Finn says sheepishly, as he takes a seat next to her.

"Probably, what's this about? I thought you were happy with the way things were going? I know the no sex thing has been tough on both of us, but I thought the physical aspect of our relationship was fine."

"No, no it is!" Finn insists, taking her hand, "I'm not trying to pressure you Rachel. I like the pace we are going at. It might sound lame or whatever, but I like that we're doing this the normal way. Things moved so quickly with us last time, I like that we're taking our time and just enjoying each others company. I love spending time with you, but I know we said we were going to be honest with each other and I just want to make sure we're on the same page, that we're more than just dating."

"Finn, from the moment we went on our first date, I assumed we were in a relationship." Rachel says truthfully, now realizing that probably still have a lot to work on when it comes to their communication.

When Finn grins at her stupidly, his eyes twinkling with merit as he leans forward, "So I was your boyfriend, before I could even kiss you on our first date? That's a little presumptuous of you Ms. Berry."

"Shut up. It's not like I put our names in little hearts on my notebook or something." Rachel says with a groan shoving him slightly, but then she squeals when Finn grabs her by the waist and rolls them onto the bed so that her body is nestled under him, "Finn, your friends..."

"They know that these walls are thin, so they'll make themselves scarce." Finn says, and before she can protest further, his lips are on hers and his tongue is slowly probing her lips demanding entrance.

Rachel sighs against his lips allowing his tongue to slip between her own lips, as her fingers run through his hair, tugging on it slightly. They exchange a few heated kisses and then Finn's hand slowly makes its way under Rachel's sweater, his finger tips tickling her bare skin, when they press gently at the swell of her breast Rachel moans into Finn's mouth, her own fingers digging into his shoulder.

It's not the first time, she begins to question her reason for the 'no sex' rule, they've done more than just kiss many times, but as their previous conversation is still fresh in Rachel's memory, she decides in that moment to forgo her own rules and in one swift movement she rolls them over so she's straddling Finn's waist. She smirks at his surprised expression, even more so when she whips off her sweater throwing it on the other side of the room and she's only left in her pink bra. She smirks at Finn when he licks his lips and his hands automatically going to her chest.

But she slaps them away, giggling at Finn's crestfallen expression, but in simply bends her hand behind her back and unclasps her bra allowing it to fall between them.

"Fuck Rach."

Finn hisses out slowly, tossing the bra aside as he takes her nipple between his fingers, tentatively squeezing it, watching her closely as she reacts to his ministrations. Rachel gasps, her back arching as Finn starts to massage her breast. But she slaps his hand away before she can get lost in the feeling of his hands on her body. When he grunts in disapproval she leans forward placing a chaste kiss on his lips and then scoots further down his body, gripping the waist band of his sweats and they both work together to get him out of his sweats and boxers, so he's now lying naked on the bed and Rachel is just in her leggings. Before she can continue on her original plan. Finn's hand moves between her legs and he starts to rub her vigorously.

"Finn...I...oh god..." Rachel gasps, she grasping his hand to put a stop to his movements, but finds herself grinding against his fingers, her body on fire and she just wants more, "Finn...wait...you..oh."

"If you take these off I wont be responsible for my actions." Finn says seriously, as he presses against he clit roughly, the friction of her panties and leggings making Rachel moan.

"I want you to take them off." Rachel says, and immediately Finn hands stills and he looks up at her with wide eyes, "You're serious?"

Rachel bites her lip and nods leaning forward as they kiss heatedly, Rachel moans into Finn's mouth as he moves his hand under the waistband of her leggings and she gasps when she feels his fingers between her legs and he starts pressing down on her clit. "Finn...just take off..."

But Finn covers her mouth with his own, kissing her deeply, "I want you to come _now_. I like watching you squirm on top of me, moaning my name."

Rachel moans at his words, these past few weeks they have both gotten pretty good at the dirty talk, Finn being much more comfortable with it than Rachel. Rachel suspects it's more because he knows how much it turns _her_ on.

As he slips a finger between her folds, his hot breath tickling her cheek as he whispers all the dirty things he wants to do to her, his fingers pressing into her with each word, emphasizing his point. Rachel is gripping the pillow behind him, biting her lip to hold back her moans, as she begins to move against his fingers. Finn picks up his pace his fingers moving in and out, his thumb pressing firmly against her clit and all Rachel can do is throw her head back as she moans out his name in release.

Once Finn removes his fingers, she collapses on his body, her breathing ragged. She looks up at Finn just in time to see him lick his fingers clean and he smirks at her smugly, "You were saying?"

Rachel opens her mouth to retort but finds that she is still slightly breathless, Finn chuckles, their bodies shaking slightly, as he moves his hands to her waist caressing her skin as she catches her breath. Rachel hums in approval, and before she can even react, Finn flips them over so he's now hovering over her smiling down at her. He kisses her swollen lips and then slowly down her neck and her collarbone, until he's blowing lightly on her already harden nipples, but instead of engulfing on of them with his lips like she hoped he would, he suddenly sits up much to Rachel's chagrin.

"Hey!"

"You have on way too many clothes." Finn says with a grin, as he grips her leggings and panties, yanking them off in one fluid motion.

He tosses them to the side and gazes at her now naked flushed body and licks his lips in anticipation, "Much better."

He then lowers his mouth to her aching breasts and starts swirling his tongue around her nipple, just before he totally engulfs it and starts licking and sucking at her flesh.

Rachel moans in approval, her leg raising to hook around Finn's back as she starts to grind against him, "Finn...I need...more."

"I got you babe." Finn says softly, as he releases her breast, he leads forward and kisses her briefly, before he stretches his hand to his night stand grabbing a condom.

Once he slips on the condom and positions himself between her legs, he looks up at her questioningly, waiting for her to give him the okay. Rachel thinks she might just be falling in love with him, with that gesture alone. She gets up on her elbow and tugs his face toward hers, kissing him soundly, that's all the encouragement he needs and she gasps, as he slowly slides between her folds, she grips his arm, and he pauses above her, waiting for her to adjust. Once she's sure, she raises her hips thrusting onto hip, making him go even deeper than before.

"Oh god baby." Finn groans as he begins to meet her thrust, peppering wet kisses along her neck and collarbone.

Rachel grunts as she feels him pull out almost entirely and then slams back it, "More Finn."

She clenches around his cock, her fingernails digging into his flesh, and sighs when she feels his lips fluttering against her cheek, before they eyes meet, neither of them look away as Finn begins to pick up his speed, his hips thrusting against her own, the sound of their naked flesh hitting against each other, echoing in the room, mixing with their grunts. Rachel gasps as she feels as Finn's fingers intertwined with hers, his eyes never wavering from her own, and she feels him thrust into her a few more times before he's groaning out her name, his face buried against her cheek and she finds herself going over the edge with him.

Finn slides off the bed, disposing of the condom before he immediately rolls back onto the bed and collapses next to her his arm across her stomach, both of them breathing hard. Rachel closes her eyes, the intensity of Finn's expression forever imprinted in her mind, and her chest tightens at the thought, as she surprised even more that it not of fright, but at the fact that the look they shared did not scare her at all, if anything she feels lighter, free. Her entire body consumed with feelings for Finn, they've had sex countless times before, but never like this, and she's more nervous at the fact that the sheer intensity of it, does not scare her in the slightest. She hums in approval when she feels Finn shifting slightly next to her, his face now buried at the crook of her neck as he places lightly kisses on her heated skin, both of them too exhausted to move otherwise.

The shrill of Finn's cellphone breaks the comfortable silence around them, and he groans, tightening his grip around Rachel's waist, as if it were _her_ phone that was ringing, "Let it ring."

"It's your phone silly." Rachel says in amusement, placing a kiss on his sweaty forehead, "Are you sure you don't want to get it? You've been pretty attached to your phone this past week."

With those words Finn suddenly flies off the bed, startling Rachel as he tumbles off the bed scrambling for his sweats, where the ringing is coming form, his bare ass is staring back at Rachel as he wrestles with his pants pocket, cursing the sweat pants and muttering to himself.

Rachel watches in amazement as Finn finally gets the phone and eagerly answers it. Finn nods eagerly into the phone, answering to convey his response, he makes a few affirmations along with thanking the person on the line repeatedly and agreeing to meet on a later date. When he hangs up, he sits back on the floor, his sweats in a heap on his naked torso, the phone slipping from his hand.

"Finn?" Rachel calls out cautiously as she gathers the sheet around her and inches towards him, "Is everything..."

But before she can finish the bedroom door slams open, Puck, Blaine and Artie come barging in, the latter rolling in behind them, all of them with eager expressions on their faces, but they aren't looking at Rachel, they are looking down at Finn, who is still sitting on the floor butt naked.

"Get out!" Rachel says appalled, but her warning goes on deaf ears as all three boys look at Finn eagerly.

"We heard your phone..."

"Was it them?"

"Did you find out?"

All three of them speak at once, and Finn looks up at them his eyes wide, "He said yes."

All the boys immediately begin to cheer, much to Rachel's confusion, Puck looks down at Finn and smirks, "You could at least put on some clothes Hudson."

"Finn, what the hell is going on?" Rachel calls out, getting tired of being ignored, immediately as she speaks the entire group goes quiet and all four boys finally seem to remember her there.

Blaine and Artie immediately apologize and scamper out of the room, Puck though looks at her and smirks, "So much for no sex uh Berry?"

"Out!" She screams at him, glaring as he chuckles and walks out the room, once the door is closed she looks across at Finn.

"Well?"

Finn slips on his sweats, a sign alone that makes Rachel worry, she tightens her grip on the sheet around her, wishing she had something to throw on, feeling more exposed now, than she did when Finn's friends were in the room. When Finn sits on the edge of the bed he takes her hand in his, another gesture that only seems to increase her worry, "That was the manager of Coldplay."

At the sound of the very famous group, Rachel's eyes widen, as Finn continues, "They want our band to open for them, for their summer tour."

And just like that, Rachel feels as though things are spiral out of her control, just as she was getting comfortable with the way things were.

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><p><em>Reviews are love ;)<em>


	11. Chapter 11

_ And this story is slowly (and finally) coming to an end, there is either one or two more chapters left. Thank you all so much for your words of encouragement and sticking with it :)_

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><p>"Finn that's amazing!" Rachel says in awe, her mind still trying to process the ramifications of Finn's news as she tugs him by the hand, pulling him in for a brief congratulatory kiss. "I'm so happy for you!"<p>

So many questions are swimming around in her head, many questions she's afraid to even voice. She looks at Finn, who is looking back at her with narrowed eyes, no doubt trying to figure out what she's thinking. No doubt wanting to know her view on this.

After all, they have only _just_ established their relationship. Things have finally settled down and this _will_ upset the balance they've had for the past few weeks. Just the thought of opening that can of worms and shifting the bliss they have been so happily enjoying makes Rachel start to panic.

"It's unbelievable," Finn says breathlessly. It seems like it's hitting him all at once as well. He runs his fingers through his tousled hair and then looks at Rachel sheepishly, "I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner. I just wanted to make sure there was something to tell, you know?"

Rachel bites her lip; she should be upset that he kept this from her. But at the same time, she's grateful he did. Who knows how long this has been in the works and she's _just_ getting comfortable with the way things are. She's pretty sure if Finn had told her about this plan to tour a few weeks ago she would be freaking out even more than she is right now. Or at least she would have ran without thinking it through.

Now she's here, sitting on Finn's bed naked. She's not ready to bolt, but she's not ready to deal with her emotions just yet either, "It's okay. The less people know, the less chance of jinxing it, right?"

They both know she's using that as an excuse, but neither of them admit to it. Finn crawls over to the other side of the bed. As he leans back against the headboard, he pulls Rachel to him, his arms going around her waist.

"I guess it worked," Finn says, his voice still filled with awe. As his arms tighten around her waist, he nuzzles her neck, the small bit of scruff he has tickling Rachel's skin.

"Well I'm very happy and proud of you boys." Rachel says softly, despite her own mixed feelings about how this will impact_ them_. She truly is very proud of Finn and his band; she knows how hard they've worked for this big break.

Finn kisses her cheek in thanks, then presses them against the hollow of her neck, his tongue sliding across her bare skin, making Rachel's entire body go slack in his arms. She sighs contently, tilting her head to the side to give Finn better access. As Rachel begins to intertwine her fingers with his, Finn's next words make her body go rigid.

"So what do you think about this?" Finn asks softly, still peppering kisses on her neck. Rachel knows he's only doing that to get her to open up more to him by distracting her so she can't over-think or over-analyze anything.

"I told you. I'm happy for you. This is an amazing opportunity, Finn," Rachel says truthfully, avoiding what Finn is actually asking her. She slips out of his arms and throws a leg over his leg so that she's now facing him, straddling his legs.

"Rachel." Finn says warningly, but it comes out more like a groan because Rachel chooses that moment to let the sheet pool around her waist. She inches closer to him, grinding her body slowly against his.

Rachel places her hand on his shoulders, arching her back as she presses against his growing erection, gasping as she speaks, "You know what I think?"

By now all thoughts of discussing anything to do with Finn's band has left his mind, as his hands automatically go to Rachel's waist and he shakes his head in a daze. Rachel loves that after all this time, she can have such an effect on him. Granted, she is rubbing her naked body against Finn's half naked form.

"I think we should celebrate." Rachel whispers against Finn's ears. She gasps when Finn's hands move up her waist and cups her breasts, squeezing them softly, "Oh _Finn_."

"You like that baby?" Finn's breath is hot against her ear. As he starts rolling his thumb over Rachel's nipples, he then tugs them, making Rachel scream.

Rachel loves that he knows her body so well. Her nails dig into his collarbone as Finn starts peppering kisses along the hollow of her neck, moving down her chest until he covers one of her breasts with his lips. His teeth graze her sensitive skin, teasing her. His tongue is rolling around her nipple, applying just a bit of pressure, just enough to drive Rachel crazy with need.

"Finn. _Please_." Rachel begs, not knowing how he turned the tables on her so quickly.

She widens her legs, pressing her hot core against his sweatpants and covered crotch, groaning at the feeling of the coarse material against her soft skin. Rachel's fingers go between their bodies, her hand snaking under the waistband of Finn's sweatpants as she gasps out loud when Finn's bites her nipple lightly, running his tongue over it in a soothing manner.

"Finn." Rachel grunts, squirming over him, gasping as Finn begins to suck her breasts, making Rachel forget what she was originally going to do him. "We're...supposed...uh...celebrate...oh god...you."

Finn pulls back and grins up at Rachel, and in one swift movement he rolls them over so that he's hovering over her naked body, peppering kisses all over her overheated skin, "This is how I like to celebrate."

With those words, he scoots down her body and widens her legs. When his tongue presses against Rachel's heated core, all she can do is throw back her head in ecstasy and allow Finn to celebrate how _he_ wants to.

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><p>She is avoiding.<p>

She refuses to acknowledge the fact that things _are_ going to change, and soon. Instead, she's doing what she does best, avoiding it and throwing all her focus into something else. The only difference this time is instead of focusing on exams, she's throwing herself into the musical, spending all her free time with Finn and _not_ talking about the big elephant in the room.

At first, Finn tries to get her to discuss it but thankfully he's been so busy with meetings, band practice, and rehearsals for the musical. They just haven't had the time to sit and talk about it. She doesn't make the mistake this time to ignore Finn, though. Most of their conversations these days are either over a brief lunch, via text messages, or at rehearsals. Even though it is frustrating and she would like to actually spend some quality time with Finn uninterrupted, she's grateful for the distractions. She's just not ready to face what happens when Finn leaves in the beginning of summer for the North American tour.

Finn is going to be gone for four months and by the time he comes back Rachel will be back in Lima working with her Dad. Or at least that has always been her plan for after she graduates. But it's already mid-March and Rachel has a stack of unfilled medical school applications, sitting in her drawer, almost taunting her. The deadline for the winter semester the following year is slowly approaching and Rachel has yet to even consider which schools she _wants_ to apply to.

In fact, she can't even remember the last time the thought crossed her mind. Usually by now she would be having a panic attack at not filling out those forms, but she doesn't seem to have the energy to even look at them. Between Finn, rehearsals, and her regular class schedule, medical school applications just seem to have taken the back burner. Surprisingly enough, Rachel is okay with that.

Rachel rubs her eyes, looking down at her diagram of the vascular structure of part of the human head. When veins and arteries begin to look one in the same, she realizes it's probably time to take a break. She closes the book without a second thought and grabs her folder filled with sheet music, completely ignoring her microbiology lab manual that is currently in her growing pile of things "to do."

She grabs her iPod, about to turn to Finn's instrumental recording of one of the songs when her bedroom door slams open.

"Hey, I thought you had your MCAT thing today?" Santana asks as she plops onto Rachel's bed, unwrapping Rachel's purple scarf from around her neck and tossing it onto Rachel's bed.

Rachel drops the iPod onto the desk with a clang, "I forgot about the review sessions! That was four hours ago. Crap."

Santana chuckles, "Wow, that's like the fifth time I've heard you say that this week."

Rachel turns to look at her slightly perplexed, "Just because I refrain from profanity..."

"Relax, small fry. I was talking about you forgetting something with school. Have you even _begun_ to study for your MCAT? I thought the whole point of you applying for the winter semester was so that you would have more time to do the MCAT. Isn't it supposed to be next month?"

Rachel sighs as she glances at her large wall calendar. Sure enough the 15th of April is circled, well more like there is a large gold star around the date. Other than that, her entire calendar is filled with personal appointments; 'lunch with Finn,' 'outfit fitting for the play,' 'doctor's appointment,' etc. She glances over her four-month calendar for the semester and frowns. What was once just filled with various classes, assignments, and exams is now only filled with personal matters. Rachel can't even remember the last time she even made a _study_ timetable.

"I don't think I'm going to do it," Rachel says softly as she moves from the chair to lie back on the bed next to Santana.

Santana's eyebrows rise at Rachel's admission, but other than that the girl does not react as strongly Rachel expected her to. "You mean you're going to put it off a month later? Isn't that cutting it close to the deadline to send in the results?"

"I mean I don't think going to do it at _all_," Rachel confirms. The idea of postponing her exam had crossed her mind a few times in the last few weeks, but Rachel was more concerned with the fact that she doesn't think she even _wants_ to do the exam in the first place. The thought alone scares her.

What surprises her, though, is her best friend's _lack_ of surprise at Rachel's confession, especially the girl's next words. "Did you tell your Dads? Then again, Curly and Mo would support you even if you decided to become an acrobat in the little people circus."

Rachel rolls her eyes at Santana's jab at her height and the _ridiculous _nicknames that her fathers actually encourage. She can't help but sigh at the truth of her friend's words. Her fathers really would not care what she decided to do. It was never their dream for her to become a doctor; they were just proud of Rachel and whatever she decided to do with her life.

"No, I prefer to know what I want to do before I tell them anything. Why aren't you more shocked?" Rachel asks, her curiosity getting the best of her. If anything she expected her best friend to tell her she was being crazy and set her back on the right track, to keep her _sane_ and make sense of that the thoughts going through Rachel's mind.

"You want my honest opinion?" Santana asks seriously, as she sits up to look Rachel in the eye, causing Rachel to sit up as well.

"I thought your motto was "I may be a bitch, but at least I'm a straight up, honest bitch?" Rachel jokes lightly.

Santana smirks, "Yes, but you're my best friend. If you need me to lie to you and tell you that you're throwing away your life-long dreams and to get your head out of your ass because it's what you want then I'll do it. But you and I both know that this is _not_ what you want."

Rachel sighs as she lays on her stomach and looks across at Santana, "Tell me what you think."

"I just think I've never seen you excited about something like you are with this musical. Sure, you were driven about your medical career and all that jazz. But that's been a part of you since you were 15 years old, hell probably longer than that. It's all you know and all you ever focused on. But this? This musical? You're annoyingly over-exuberant about it, like another little pet project of yours. It's like that time in second year after you came back from your trip to London and you decided you were going to take a year off between undergrad and medical school to travel around the world. You went off for _months_ talking about Europe and all the different cities you would be visiting. I learned more about the history of Europe from _you_ than I did in my actual history class I was taking that year."

"So are you just saying this is a phase and it will just pass?" Rachel asks confused, she knows how she can get attached to things, obsess over it for a few months, and then move on to something else. She hopes that is not the case. At least she doesn't think it is.

"No, this is more than that. Rachel these people you're working with…Kurt, Tina, and Matt. This isn't some extracurricular activity for them. This is their _passion;_ it's what they are going to continue to do for the rest of their lives. This isn't something they are using to get away from school. This _is_ school for them. What I'm saying is, this could be yours too."

"Santana, I'm in my _final_ year of my pre-health degree. I'm not going to switch majors and start all over again just because I enjoy singing."

"Who said anything about that? Rachel, you have _two_ months left. But just because you will have a Bsc. in Anatomical Science doesn't mean that's all you can do. No one says you have to decide right this minute what you want to do with the rest of your life. Hell, take the year off and travel the world like you always wanted. Or join one of those Jewish community centers and teach tone deaf ankle biters how to sing."

"Santana!" Rachel says with horror, "those kids are _4_."

"Hence the tone deaf comment. C'mon Rach, keep up. Just because you're no longer going to be a doctor you're suddenly stupid?"

"Finn's band is going on a summer tour, opening for Coldplay." Rachel suddenly blurts out.

Santana's eyes widen in shock, "If I wasn't already going with Britt to LA for summer, I would so tag along. I heard the lead guitarist is single, jump him!"

"_Santana!_ I'm with _Finn_." Rachel says with a roll of her eyes knowing her friend is just joking. "Besides, its not like I'll be going."

"He didn't ask you? Tell him if he doesn't want his ass kicked, he will get me free backstage passes for Britt and I to the closest place to LA." At Rachel's glare, Santana sobers up, "I can't believe he didn't ask you."

"We haven't really talked about it yet." Rachel says sheepishly.

At her words, Santana groans, "Rachel, please tell me you haven't been using the boy for sex in order to avoid talking about this."

"I am _not!"_ Rachel protests, "We've just both been busy and..."

"Bullshit. This is _big_! He's going away _all_ summer. I'm one hundred percent sure you haven't even _discussed_ your plans for after graduation, so I'm not even surprised you're avoiding yet _again_." Santana shakes her head in disbelief, "I thought you two were giving this whole relationship a shot?"

"Everything has been _perfect_ these past few weeks. I don't want it to change." Rachel says with a sigh. "We're finally together and on the same wavelength. I was probably not even going to go back to Boston anyway, especially if med school is not really in the cards anymore and..."

"Rachel you're making up excuses. You only acknowledged _today_ that medical school was out of the picture. _Finn_ probably still thinks it _is_ in the picture. Even if you weren't going back to Lima, which I was assuming anyway, you still have to _discuss_ these things with the boy. Look I know you're trying this 'live in the moment' kind of thing, and I get your hesitation to make _any_ kind of long term plans with Finn. But at this point, it's unavoidable. In two short months you are going to have to decide where this thing with Finn is going, and when he _does_ ask you to go on tour with him please at least consider it."

"Everything is just moving so quickly!" Rachel complains, "Finn wasn't supposed to be going off anywhere this summer. We were going to enjoy the summer together and then..."

"Then what? I'm pretty sure in order to figure out the 'then what' of that equation, you need to talk to him about what _he_ wants."

"I don't even know what _I_ want," Rachel says with a sigh.

"I'm sorry Rachel. I love you, but you need to stop doing this to Finn. You can't only be in a relationship with him when it's convenient for you. This is a _huge_ break for Finn, and if you give him the option to choose, I hope he chooses his career."

With that said Santana rolls off of Rachel's bed and walks out of the room, leaving Rachel alone with her thoughts.

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><p>Rachel stands at the entrance to the door to Finn's band's makeshift studio, her fingers tightly wrapped around the strap of her handbag. She takes a deep breath, almost as if it will give her the courage she needs to face Finn. She then knocks on the door, listening to the sound of shuffling behind it before the door opens. Finn greets her at the door. Upon seeing her, his face lights up in delight.<p>

"Hey, I wasn't expecting to hear from you until tomorrow. I thought you had an exam today?" Finn asks, quickly ushering her in and helping her out of her coat.

"I did, it was fine. But I wanted to see you." Rachel says truthfully. Although she is very hesitant to bring up the topic of the tour, she _has_ missed Finn these past few weeks. With her midterms and his final plans and rehearsals for the bands, they have only been able to keep in contact via phone calls or text messages.

"I missed you too." Finn says with a grin as he tugs her by the sleeve of her sweater, into his arms and lowers his mouth onto hers. After a few minutes he pulls back and grins down at her, his arms now wrapped around her waist, "That's better."

Rachel smiles, going on her tiptoes again to indulge in a few more kisses before she has to broach the subject of why she's really here. She pulls back and steps out of his grasp, looking around at the room, which looks even more chaotic than it usually is. Instruments lay propped up on one side, and there are two more makeshift tables, littered with sheet music, laptops, and a whole host of musical stuff Rachel doesn't even know the names for.

"Sorry about the mess." Finn says sheepishly, as he runs his fingers through his hair. He moves his guitar off the armchair, offering Rachel a seat. "We've been trying to come up with four new songs to add to our set list for the tour. It hasn't been easy. That, and I've been doing research on all the cities we're going to. I'm trying to find things for us to do when I'm free."

Rachel bites her lips at his words, bracing herself for his reaction to her next words. "Finn, I can't come with you."

"Oh I know you won't be able to come for the full tour, that's kind of crazy. But I was looking at all the cities and picking the best ones. Or maybe you can come for the last leg of the tour and just travel back home with us? This city is our last stop. But you know, whatever works for you. I know you said you always wanted to go to New York. We're supposed to be playing there sometime in mid-July so you can always fly up and meet us. Or maybe..."

"Finn." Rachel calls out to gain his attention, her chest tightening at his eager expression. He's made so many plans for the next four months and she can't even see beyond her final exams.

"What's wrong?" Finn asks, immediately picking up on her tone. He closes the laptop he had taken out to show her some of the information he found.

Rachel sighs, fiddling with the clasps of her watch nervously, not sure where to begin. She starts off simply enough, "I decided I'm not going to medical school."

Finn's eyes widen in surprise, but then he pulls one of the seats over taking her hand, making small soothing circles with the ball of his thumb over her skin, "Oh babe, what happened? I know your last bit of assignments and stuff have been kicking your ass, and you're worried for finals, but you're going to fine."

"No, it's not that. I just have been thinking about it a lot lately, and I realized this isn't what I want." Rachel says, "I can't see myself doing that for the rest of my life. More school, then residency for so long. I thought of it as something my fathers wanted and it wasn't what I wanted. I wasn't happy and I didn't even realize it."

"If you're not happy doing something, babe, then you shouldn't be doing it. To hell with anyone else." Finn says earnestly. "We can figure out something together; you can come sing for my band."

He smiles his last comment in jest but Rachel doesn't smile back. She bites her lip, "That's why I can't come with you Finn."

"I don't understand." Finn says, his eyebrows knitting together in confusion. His thumb stills, but he continues to hold onto Rachel's hand, "You haven't mentioned any plans for the summer, but I assumed with you graduating and planning on starting medical school in January that you would be free for the summer, and you'd be able to at least come on tour with me for a while."

"Finn, I don't know what I want to do with my life." Rachel says in frustration, trying to get him to understand her.

"I know that, Rachel. But you don't have to figure it out right this minute." Finn says reassuringly, "I'll help you try and figure out what you want to do."

"That's not your job Finn, you have this amazing opportunity and..."

"Rachel, just because I'm going off on tour for a few months doesn't mean I'll just forget about you and only have time for that. I want to help you any way that I can. Who knows? Maybe if you come with us, you might find a new calling. You're an amazing singer, you know."

"I can't do that." Rachel says softly, "You know me, Finn. I need to have some kind of plan. I can't graduate from college with no direction of where I want to go or what I want to do with my life. I will have a Bachelor's in Anatomical Science, and I don't even _know_ if something in science is what I want to do. I like learning about science and I'm good at it, but I don't know if it makes me happy. I just don't know _anything_ anymore."

"I know it's scary, but I can tell you one thing you _do _have." Finn says as he grasps her hands tighter between his, "You still have me. You can be one of those people that dress up in the Moose suit outside 'Muddy Moose Pub!"

Rachel giggles, "That's a mental image I could have done without."

"You'd look hot." Finn says winking at her, but then he sobers up and looks at her right in the eye, "Look, I know this is scary for you, but you're not going to do it alone. You have me, Rach. And we'll go through every single option on the list. I'll help you figure out a plan to find your dream. We'll figure it out together."

Rachel bites her lip and her eyes beginning to fill with tears. She's overcome by the intensity and utter conviction he has. She doesn't understand how he can believe in her, in _them_ so much when she can't even comprehend _why_ he'd even want to do this for her, "Why would you want to do that?"

Finn looks at her incredulously, "Rachel, I care about you... I lo….of course I want to do this with you, why do you even think its a burden? I'm your boyfriend, that's what boyfriend's do."

"But you have so many things to look forward to." Rachel says quietly, "Your band has this amazing opportunity and opening for such a _huge _band is a big deal. Things are only going to get better from there and you don't need the added stress of trying to help me figure out _my_ dreams. I can't ask you do that."

"You're not asking me." Finn says purposely, "I'm _offering_ to help you. Just because I have my own dreams doesn't mean yours are any less important to me."

"Finn, I don't even _have_ a dream to begin with! I just have a degree for jobs I probably don't even want." Rachel says dejectedly, "Maybe I should just move back to Lima and work in my dad's practice running the lab or something."

"Hey...wow!" Finn says holding up both his hands in front of her, in a halting movement, "There will be no talk about cross-continental jobs, or anything crazy like that. Look, Rachel. I get that Sam was the only guy you ever trusted, and you both made all these plans together. Everything you did, everything you planned was surrounded around him and his plans. But that's not what I'm doing here. Sure, I suggested the singing thing but that's only if _you_ want to. I told you I don't care what you want to do, just as long as it makes you happy. Come on tour with me and see what it's like. This is going to be new to us as well. Hell, we don't know if we're cut out for the rock star lifestyle. My point is that I'm not forcing you to do anything. I just want to help you. Let me help you Rachel,"

Rachel bites her lip in thought. This wasn't how she was expecting this conversation to go. Usually Finn accepts her decisions on things, but he's so convinced he can help her and she doesn't feel smothered or forced into something she doesn't want to do. She needs to accept that Finn _isn't _Sam and he's not looking out for himself. Even more than that, he's putting _her_ as a priority, "And the boys would be okay, if you brought along your boring girlfriend, for what is essentially a _guys_ experience?"

"You'll come?" Finn says eagerly, already grabbing her by the waist and hoisting her onto his lap, his fingers digging into her side.

"Everything in my head is telling me I should focus on me and figure out what I want, before I drag you into my mess." Rachel says softly, her arms looping around his neck to keep her balance, "It's not fair to you, if you're stuck with someone, who has no direction or idea of what they want to do with their life."

"Rach..."

"But, I think its time I learn to allow other people to help me. More importantly, I should let _you_ help me. When I found out about what Sam did...I told myself I'd never let anyone ever dictate what I do with my life or how I run it. I'd _never_ make plans around a guy again."

"Rachel, you know that's not..."

Rachel places a finger on Finn's lips, silencing him. "Let me finish. I said my dreams were more important. I was going to graduate at the top of my class, get into the best medical school, and prove to Sam that I didn't need _him_ to become a doctor. I don't need to benefit from his past mistakes and insight from _him_ to achieve anything. He always made me feel like the only reason I was doing well in school was because he had done it already, and that his past knowledge about things is what got me by and how I would get through medical school as well. But now I realized that even though he was no longer apart of my life, he was still dictating what I was doing. I shouldn't become a doctor just because I want to prove to my ex-boyfriend that I can do it without him. I should be doing it because _I_ want to help people, because I love science, because it's what I want. For the first time in my life, I'm doing something I enjoy and it's not something someone forced on me. I know just because I enjoy singing in this musical doesn't mean I can just magically make something from it but..."

"My brother is currently in his third year studying theater. One of his friends Mike is studying dance. And Matt? He's doing screen writing and Tina is a singer. Hell, I'm going to be opening up for fucking Coldplay. We're all doing these things because we _love_ it. Rachel, if you love to sing, you can do anything you want with that. Don't sell yourself short just because you think it's unreasonable or unattainable." Finn says as he squeezes her hips, "If you want we can make a _list_ of all the things you can do with that, and set out a plan on how you're going to try all those things on that list. Hell, we can even make a list on what we plan to do to make the first list."

"I feel like you're making fun of me and my attention to detail. It helps to be organized, you know." Rachel says, but her eyes are twinkling and she's grinning down at Finn. She presses her forehead against his and closes her eyes, "Thank you, Finn."

"For what babe?" Finn asks softly, his thumbs rubbing soft circles against her hip.

"Just...thank you." Rachel says quietly, leaning forward to place her lips against his. She doesn't think she can form the words to tell him how grateful she is, how much his believing in her and what she can accomplish means to her. So she just tries to show him the best that she can.

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><p><em>Reviews are love ;)<em>


	12. Chapter 12

**This is it, after 70,000 words and 11 months, I've finally finished this story. I wanna thank Katherine, not for betaing this fic but also for encouraging me to finish it especially when I thought I was just going to give up on it and to everyone who stuck with this story for these 11 months, i still can't believe people were still interested so thank you and I hope this was worth the wait :)**

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><p>Graduation comes and goes before Rachel can even fully appreciate the fact that she is no longer an undergrad. She has her Bachelor's, granted she is probably never going to put it to use, but at least she's accomplished something and she's proud of that.<p>

Her fathers take the week off for her graduation; they along with Santana and Finn made the most noise out of anybody in the audience, embarrassingly so. Especially when Santana whistled as Rachel accepted her diploma. But when she looked across at the small group, she couldn't help but smile when she saw all of them looking at her proudly, both her fathers _and_ Finn each holding cameras in their hands taking pictures. Her Papa actually used a camcorder to record her, so in return, she simply smiled brightly at them and waved enthusiastically earning a whoop and whistle in response. She laughed as she walked off the stage, saying goodbye to that part of her life.

Her fathers, as Santana predicted, were proud of her no matter what she chose to do. She jokingly asked them if they would love her even if she became a hobo on the beaches of LA, singing with a guitar. Their only response was they'd come to see every one of her performances. They were all joking, obviously, but Rachel is just grateful of how supportive they were. Her Papa did admit to being a little heartbroken that he doesn't get to show off his daughter, "the doctor," to all his colleagues and show them how the Berry family can beat them all (She'll never understand the overly competitive nature of doctors. In hindsight, that should have been her first sign that she wasn't cut out for that career). But he said he'd happily give them all tickets for her sold out concert. She thinks he's being crazy, but doesn't have the heart to tell him that. She thinks it's cute that he and her dad believe in her so much.

Much to her delight, Finn and her dads get along great. She thinks it has more to do with the fact that Finn sang some Beatles songs on his guitar, practically making her fathers fall in love with him on the spot. She and Finn even did impromptu duets for them. And that's how she celebrates her graduation, singing with her boyfriend as her dads cheer them on and Santana sitting in the back making side comments. But after a while she too got so into their performances and ended up making her own requests by the end of the night.

Now, weeks later, Rachel is sitting in her bedroom frowning at her stack of textbooks. Some of them are from as early as her freshman year; she thought she might have needed them for medical school.

"Oh please, this has nothing to do with medical school and everything to do with you not knowing how to throw anything away, you hoarder." Santana calls out sarcastically from Rachel's cupboard after Rachel points out the mini library she as accumulated in the corner of her room.

"I am _not!" _Rachel protests, pouting, despite the fact that Santana can't see her, "I thought you were here to help me clean out my stuff, not criticize me!"

"Oh please, you know it's a package deal, otherwise you wouldn't have asked me to help you sort out your clothes." Santana says sticking her head out of the closet and holding up a tangerine ratty old shirt, "You still have your orientation t-shirt from freshman year! _Hoarder_."

"It's memories." Rachel protests, but on the glare Santana sends her she sighs, dropping her shirt in the throw away pile, "I knew I should not have done this without you."

"You could have called that giant of yours." Santana points, "Shouldn't the two of you be all over each other now, no more exams and all?"

"Finn is finalizing the last few details of the tour." Rachel points out, "Besides, he hates cleaning and if he were here..."

"You two would be going at it like rabbits on the pile of clothes that you were probably giving to Goodwill." Santana says sarcastically.

Rachel huffs, "We are not _that _bad. We are in a mature adult relationship, there is more to it than..."

"Oh you can dress it up how ever you want, munchkin, being in love and happy and whatever. Doesn't change the fact that the two of you are like dogs in heat."

"Offensive!" Rachel reprimands her, cheeks red, as she plops onto her bed already tired of packing her books into boxes, "We aren't...I mean..."

Santana's head pops outside of the closet door again, her eyes wide. She narrows her eyes, making Rachel shift under her scrutiny. Santana gasps and slaps Rachel on the thigh, "Rachel please tell me you've told the boy you love him."

"I don't know if I..."

"Oh My God Woman!" Santana screeches, slapping Rachel with a pillow. "What the hell's the matter with you? Of course you love him! Don't give me that bullshit that you don't know. You are going off with him for a few months on tour. You love the boy, grow a pair and tell him."

"Well aren't you romantic" Rachel says sarcastically, dodging another pillow in the head, "There just hasn't been a good time okay?"

"You're practically attached by the lips, _all_ the time. How could there possibly not be a _good _time? Last time I checked there was never a bad time to tell someone you love them." Santana looks across at Rachel closer and sighs, flopping back onto the bed looking at Rachel closely, "Okay, you have 5 minutes."

"What?" Rachel asks confused.

"You have 5 minutes to tell me what one _earth_ you could possibly still be afraid of, no judgment from me. But once those 5 minutes are up I am allowed to slap sense into you _again_. "

"I don't know what you're talking about"

"4 minutes and 59 seconds. Tick tock, Rachel."

"FYI. I don't believe in violence."

"4 minutes and 50 seconds."

"What if he doesn't feel the same way?" Rachel blurts out, her cheeks reddening at her declaration. Santana takes one look at her and bursts out in laughter, making Rachel frown. "You said no judgment!"

"Wait you're being serious?" Santana asks in disbelief, "Rachel, the guy worships the ground you walk on. How could you possibly think that?"

"What if it was just the chase?" Rachel asks her voice wavering slightly, "I thought I knew what love was before with Sam, but he pretended to love me for _months_ maybe even _years_ while he and Quinn slept together behind my back. She was my best friend and he was my boyfriend for _five_ years and they just snuck around for _months_ and he would have never told me anything if I didn't walk in on them. How long would that have gone on for until they told me? If they were even going to tell me? Were they just waiting for Sam to finish medical school and just go off to Connecticut or wherever it is and leave me a note in the mailbox? I was _so_ wrong about Sam. Who's to say I'm not imagining there is more with Finn as well?"

"Rach, Finn's not Sam." Santana says softly tugging Rachel towards her so they both end up rolling to one side of Rachel's bed, "Finn's not going to hurt you like that. You can't really have a mature adult relationship with him if you don't let him in fully. I know this new career path of yours scares the fuck out of you, but don't project those fears onto Finn. Finn's not going anywhere, not unless you send him packing, and we both know you don't want that."

Rachel shakes her head leaning it against Santana's shoulder, "I just don't want to be wrong about him,"

"Trust me you're not." Santana says, "If you were I would have sent his ass packing with or without your permission _months _ago."

Rachel giggles wholeheartedly at Santana's words, knowing the sincerity behind it, "True."

Santana suddenly sits up throwing Rachel to the side, ignoring Rachel's grunts, "Come on we're going lingerie shopping."

"What? Why?" Rachel asks confused as Santana tugs her to a sitting position, "You said you'd help me with my room."

"It will still be here when we get back." Santana says, "If you're going to declare your love to the boy, you need to look hot doing it."

"Santana, I'm not going to tell Finn I love him before or after sex, I want it to be romantic." Rachel protests.

"No, no. _No_. You are not going to go all OCD on this as well." Santana says, "Do not make a big planned date and all that, because if one thing goes wrong you'll keep putting it off until its perfect. And then you'll keep finding reasons why things aren't perfect. Don't think about this Rachel, just feel."

"That was actually good advice." Rachel says with mock surprise.

"Bitch." Santana mutters, slapping Rachel on the leg.

"No violence!" Rachel protests, watching as Santana walks out of the room, "Hey! Where are you going?"

"I'm going to get ready. Your ass better be dressed by the time I get back."

"But you just said..."

"Rachel, you're going off for two months with your boyfriend. He's seen all of your granny panties. Give the boy a treat and get some sexy underwear to show off in those little hotel rooms you're going to be sharing."

"I do not own granny panties!" Rachel protests.

"Your top drawer says differently." Santana calls out, laughing as she leaves.

Rachel growls rolling off the bed, grumbling to herself why she has such an annoying best friend.

* * *

><p>"You okay?" Rachel asks softly, watching as Finn irons the arm of his shirt for the third time, his <em>undershirt<em>, that is. She crawls off the bed and walks up a behind him, wrapping her arms around his waist, pressing her cheek against his bare skin between his shoulder blades, "You guys are going to be great."

She feels Finn's entire body sag as he releases a deep breath, "I keep going over all the things that can go wrong. What if I forget my cue? Or Blaine forgets his lines, or Artie's wheelchair loses it breaks and he rolls of the _stage_?"

Rachel bites her lip, holding back her smile, knowing he won't appreciate her laughter, "You sound like me. Come to bed."

When he's about to protest, she gently takes the clothing iron from his hand, flipping the off switch and leaving it standing in the corner. She grabs his hand and gently pulls him to their bed. They both crawl in and she leans back on her pillows, allowing Finn to rest his head on her chest. It looks slightly odd, given their height difference. It's something they usually joke about, but today Finn's nerves are getting the best of him. She runs her fingers gently through his hair, hoping it soothes him, and sure enough she feels him start to relax in her arms.

"You're going to be great. Once you see that screaming crowd, their excitement is going to be infectious and it'll be like you're performing at _Hypnotic_ again, and you'll feel right at home."

"With a crowd about a million times the size." Finn says, his arms tightening around her waist at the thought.

"Maybe just a thousand." Rachel teases. She grins when Finn pulls back to look up at her and leans forward to place a chaste kiss on her lips.

"Thank you." He whispers softly before he takes her and rolls them over, earning a giggle in response as she's now comfortably in his arms, resting her head on his chest.

"I've been so busy these past few weeks, I forget to ask. How are _you?" _Finn asks softly.

"Are you asking if I'm missing Santana?" Rachel asks in amusement, as she rolls over so their chests are pressed together and she's looking at him in the eye. He gives her a pointed look and she sighs, knowing exactly what he was asking all along, "I'm okay. You know, Kurt asked me if I wanted to audition for the new musical they are doing at the local community center? Apparently he's the costume designer or something?"

Finn chuckles, "Yeah he told me about that, but he didn't tell me he told you to audition. Why didn't you? That would have been a good opportunity."

"It would have taken up three months. Besides, I'm not even sure if I want to be on stage, or do things behind the scenes, or even be like those people who sing the melodies on commercials." She sends him a grin, both of them knowing she's only joking about the last part. She shifts again so she's straddling his stomach, her elbows resting on either side of his face, "Besides, why wouldn't I want to have you all to myself for four months?"

"Me along with the band, the crew, and a millions of crazy Coldplay fans." Finn quips with a smile.

Rachel smiles coyly down at him, her hair forming a curtain around them, "I don't see any of those people in here."

Finn smirks, his palm that's already resting on her ass inches towards her hips, his finger hooking on the small string of her panties, tugging it playfully, "Wouldn't want to give them a show, now would we?"

"Definitely not." Rachel whispers against his lips before she kisses him again. They kiss slowly and lazily for a while before Rachel pulls back and smiles at him, "Besides I already have a plan."

"A plan for me?" Finn asks in excitement, this time in hand dipping deeper into her panties, massaging her ass. Rachel sighs softly, losing herself in the feel of his coarse fingers rubbing her naked flesh. But when she feels his fingers move between the crease of her ass cheeks she slaps his hand away, chuckling when he pouts, "I thought you said you had plans for me!"

"I was talking about my future, silly." Rachel says with a roll of her eyes. She doesn't move his hand when it slips under her panties yet again, and she's pretty sure this conversation is going to be put on hold again anyway. "I decided I'll take a few courses next semester just to see which aspects of music I want to go into. And I want to work in the music store in the mall, get more familiar with all the different genres, you know?"

She frowns when Finn stops his ministrations, his hand slipping from her ass, "What?"

"You already figured it out?" Finn says slightly crest fallen, which Rachel doesn't understand.

"Well I wouldn't go _that_ far, but I have something to work towards, a start." Rachel says, her forehead crinkling at his slight pout," I thought you'd be happy for me? This is a _good_ thing."

"Oh no babe, I _am_ happy for you." Finn says squeezing her waist to reassure her, but Rachel feels like she's still missing something, "I just, I did something…for you."

"What?" Rachel asks, she squeals slightly when Finn hoists her off of him, plopping her onto the bed as he goes to one of his suitcases digging through it, tossing clothes all on the floor, "Finn?"

When he finally turns around, Rachel frowns when she sees a small purple binder in his hands, a few pieces of bright colors papers sticking out, "Finn?"

Finn looks at her sheepishly as he crawls onto the bed facing her, his cheeks red, "I know its kind of stupid and cheesy and totally crazy. You know what…never mind I…"

"Finn Hudson." She calls out demandingly getting on her knees and crawling over to him taking the book, "Is this for me?"

Finn smiles sheepishly, "I know you like your schedules and to be organized and stuff. So, I made you, well us, a planner of what we can do for the next four months. But it's more for you."

His cheeks are still red, but he opens the purple binder in her lap to the first month. There are flyers stuck in the middle and the dates of his shows are scratched off with an X. The other free days have small things written in, such as 'jazz festival', 'opera,' and other things like that. The flyers are of some schools, ones solely focused on dramatic arts and music. Rachel looks down at the book, the poor construction paper that has more wrinkles than it should, Finn's scrappy handwriting trying to fit in everything in the small date box, and she can't stop the tears even if she tried. He made her a _planner_. Finn, who doesn't even like to put things in his Reminders on his phone, made her a planner…actually spending the time to figure out what they can do in _all_ the cities they are going to. Four months worth of stuff.

"Crap, I knew it was a shitty idea." Finn says frantically trying to grab the book from her but Rachel won't let up, "I'm sorry Rach I…"

"I love you." Rachel blurts out, this time her cheeks reddening. This is so not how she imagined telling him. She looks across at Finn to see his eyes widen comically, his hands releasing its hold on the binder.

When he says nothing, she drops the binder on the bed and tackles him to the bed, kissing him deeply. She grins down at him laughing, "I love you."

Now that she's said it she doesn't know what took her so long to say it in the first place. And she doesn't seem to want to stop saying it either, even as Finn stares up at her in awe. He finally seems to find his voice, although slightly scratchy, and speaks, "I love you too."

Rachel giggles and leans down to kiss him again, this time she moves so that her entire body is draped over his, her lips never losing contact from his. She sighs against his lips, her fingers tugging on his hair. "I love you _so _much."

"I love you too, Rach." Finn says softly his hands moving along her back. This time, instead of his fingers slipping under her panties, he just grabs the hem of his t-shirt that she was wearing to sleep and tugs it off over her head. She giggles in response, shifting down his body as she places wet kisses along his collarbone, smiling as he moans in appreciation while his fingers trail along her spine.

She's about to move lower when she feels Finn's hands hook under her arms and tug her upwards so they are face to face.

"Hi," he whispers softly before capturing her lips in his own. They kiss lazily, his hands now moving down to her ass, massaging it slowly over her panties, cupping her cheeks. When he pinches the curve of her ass she pulls back looking at him in surprise.

"Something wrong?" Finn asks grinning cheekily.

"Oh _that's_ how you want to play it, huh?" Rachel says with a smirk. She watches in amusement as Finn looks confused at first but then jumps, when her hands rest on his sides.

"You wouldn't." He says sternly, his hands moving to her wrist, "Baby."

But his warning goes on deaf ears and Rachel grins at him evilly as she starts to dance her fingers along his side and he begins to squirm under her. Finn is the most ticklish person Rachel knows and she starts to giggle as he laughs, gasping between laughter for her to stop.

"Rach!" He protests, squirming more, as he tries to grab her hands, but she's too quick.

"You know what you have to do." Rachel says teasingly, grinning down at him. The smile slips off her face when Finn suddenly flips them over so he's hovering over her, grinning down at her. "Cheat! You're not supposed to use your size to your….oh god…you…that's…ohh"

Rachel's mind goes numb as Finn's mouth engulfs her left breast, his tongue swirling around her nipple, sucking on it hard. Her hands fall limp to her sides and she gasps when Finn's teeth graze across her heated flesh, "Cheat."

Finn laughs, pulling back slightly, his body still pinning Rachel's to the bed, "Are you complaining?"

"Finn!" Rachel moans, not in pleasure but in protest, squirming under him, "Don't stop!"

But instead of heeding her request, he pinches her nipple till it gets hard, rolling it between his finger and thumb, grinning when she gasps, her back arching automatically into his touch. He cups her breast, his large hand, engulfing her entire breast as he massages and squeezes it, his eyes never wavering from hers.

"Finn…oh god."

Finn stops and smiles at her, pressing his lips to hers as he hooks his thumbs around the small string of her panties tugging them down. She immediately follows suit, pulling down Finn's boxers. Once they have both gotten rid of their remaining clothes, Finn straddles her hips as Rachel grins up at him, hooking her arms around his neck pulling him down for a kiss. She wraps her legs around his waist, deepening the kiss, as she widens her legs.

When he slowly slips between her legs she gasps out, her fingers digging into his shoulder blade. They both still at the same time and lock eyes, neither of them moving. Rachel's eyes soften when she looks at him, "I love you so much."

"I love you too baby." Finn whispers against her lips as he slowly begins to move, he kisses her briefly before he buries his head in the crook of her neck, placing wet kisses along her collarbone as he thrusts into her, grunting into her neck.

Rachel groans, her fingers grazing against his skin as she meets his thrust with her own, her muscles clenching around his cock and she feels their sweaty bodies slap against each other. Finn's chest is pressed firmly against her and she feels completely consumed by him. When Finn hands slips between their bodies to rub her clit in small circles, all Rachel can do is gasp as she falls off the edge, taking Finn along with her.

"Love you," Finn murmurs again as he collapses on top of her, rolling them so she's snuggled up against him.

Rachel sighs, resting her head on his chest, his slowly decreasing heart rate lulling her to sleep.

* * *

><p>She stands at the foot of the stage, her eyes wide and the roar of the crowd surrounding her as she enthusiastically claps as the boys finish their first song. Her eyes water, her heart filled with pride as she hears the crowd enthusiastically scream for more.<p>

They did it.

They performed in front of thousands of people and the majority of the crowd is clapping energetically in response. As they start their second song, the response makes her pores rise. She looks at the crowd around her, grinning as girls are pointing and giggling enthusiastically at Puck's crude gestures as he and Blaine begin their duet. She giggles when she sees some young teens point enthusiastically at Finn, and she can't blame them. Finn is drumming energetically, sweat dripping down his forehead and his arm tensing as he bites his lip in concentration. Rachel herself can't help but enthusiastically clap in response to his tiny solo in the middle of the song.

When Finn catches her eye he waves at her, sending her a kiss and she can't help but laugh, even more so when the same young girls send her hard stares. Months ago, hell even weeks ago things like that used to bother her. These "fans" of Finn's who are so willing to just throw themselves at him. Old insecurities would get the best of her, but not now. Now she just laughs at it because she loves him more than she's loved anyone. She's just happy, happier than she's ever been before.

Once the song comes to a close, she quickly slips by the barricade, thanking Mike the security guard that allowed her to go in front of the crowd. Technically she wasn't supposed to be in the crowd, but she wanted to have the real concert experience for Finn's _first_ concert. She needed to be in the crowd watching him on the stage. As she makes a way through countless crewmembers and security, the buzz behind stage increases tenfold as they get ready for the main event. All Rachel is concerned with was getting to see _her_ favorite band (as bias as she is). When she finally makes it to the changing room she grins widely when she sees the boys coming back, dripping in sweat looking exhausted but chatting excitedly.

"Finn!" She shouts out excitedly, earning a few glares from some of the crew, but she pays them no attention as she runs towards him jumping into his arms and placing a kiss on his sweaty cheek, "You were amazing!"

She curls her arm around his waist and faces the rest of the boys, "You all were just brilliant. I think you made many new fans too. I heard a few girls chatting up Mike, asking to get passes to meet you."

"Really?" Puck asks excitedly, both he and Artie looking around, almost as though they were expecting the girls to jump out at them.

"They looked no older than 15." Rachel says with a roll of her eyes.

"Berry, no, that's just mean. You don't promise a guy hot fan girls then put a 'do not enter' sign slapped right on their forehead." Puck says, sulking as they enter the bands dressing room.

"You have a three year old daughter, Noah." Rachel retorts.

"And? How did you think she got here, Berry?" Puck asks, taking a swig of his water as he plops down onto the couch. "I've got needs. And I'm also baby-free for two full weeks before my Mom brings her. I'm living up the single life."

"AKA, he's going to leave in ten minutes, head to his hotel room, and spend the rest of the night talking to Amy on Skype until he has to read her a bed time story." Artie points out in amusement.

Puck grins, not at all embarrassed at the other man's words. "Hey, I miss my number one girl. You're one to talk, Abrams. You always 'conveniently' need something from me when you know I'm talking to her. Besides, tomorrow is when we're hitting the New York clubs, right?"

"Hell yeah," Artie says, fist pumping Puck, "Where them ladies at?"

"Dude, no." Puck says with a shake of his head, "If you're going to be my wingman, you need to be cool. Hudson, you and Berry joining us?"

"Nope, we've got plans." Finn says with a grin.

"Sex at home and sex in a hotel room is different?" Blaine chimes in curiously.

"Yes." The three other guys chime in at once, and Rachel slaps Finn on the thigh, not even knowing why she even bothers. She should be used to the crude conversation these boys have by now, especially with Puck around.

"Dude, have you and Hummel done it anywhere _besides_ your bed?" Puck asks in amusement.

"Brother in the room!" Finn screeches out, sticking fingers in both his ears, "Change the subject."

"Don't be such a baby." Rachel says tugging his arms down. "The five of you discuss our sex life freely whenever Kurt's around, it's no different."

"No, Berry. The two of you practically give us all a free _show_ of your sex life. _That's_ why it's discussed most of the time. And it's fun to see that vein in your head start to bulge when we do it." Puck says with a grin.

"Oh look, it's coming alive." Arties says with a cackle.

"Would the two of you knock it off?" Finn says in annoyance as he looks at Rachel apologetically. Rachel just shakes her head, by now used to all the boys' antics. "Do I get to know where we are going tomorrow? Last time I checked, we have no plans."

Finn grins, "It's a surprise."

Rachel opens her mouth about to ask him if there was any way she could get the surprise out of him, but then she remembered where they were, and more importantly who they were with and she just smiled, "I can't wait."

* * *

><p>"Finn, is this all really necessary?" Rachel asks, exasperated as she shivers slightly as the spring air chills her bare shoulders. She watches the bright lights of Times Square pass her by. "Why can't you just tell me?"<p>

"Why can't you just patiently wait for a surprise like a normal person?" Finn asks in amusement, throwing his arm over her shoulder and tucking her under his jacket, "And I told you to bring a coat."

"The weather forecast said it would be a bright clear _warm_ night. It's not my fault he was wrong." Rachel says snuggling into his side, "Besides, you told me we would be somewhere indoors, not roaming the streets of New York."

"We're in New York, babe. You have to walk everywhere to get where you want to go." Finn says in amusement, "It's a good thing you have a big, strong boyfriend to keep you warm."

"I'd like to know why my big strong boyfriend won't just tell me where we are going." Rachel says with a grumble, slipping her fingers into the pockets of Finn's jeans to warm them up.

"Were you always this impatient?" Finn asks in amusement, purposely ignoring Rachel's question. "You're killing the surprise."

"Santana would say it's your OCD kicking in." Finn teases, grunting when Rachel elbows him in the gut. "But I'd tell her to not be a bitch and to stop making fun of you."

"Like you would ever be brave enough to call Santana a bitch to her face."

"I like my balls where they are, thank you very much." Finn says shuddering slightly, "And, Ms. Impatient. We are here."

They stop in the middle of the sidewalk and Finn points upwards. When Rachel looks up all she sees are bright green lights shining down her and a large sign that reads 'Wicked.' Rachel gasps as she looks back at Finn who is grinning sheepishly, "You brought me to see a musical?"

"Not_ just_ a musical, one on _Broadway_. Kurt says it's not legit unless you've seen it on Broadway. He organized everything for me. He said you have the potential for this, so you should at least see how the pros do it and consider it an option. Babe, coming from Kurt, that's like him giving you his blessing to marry me."

Rachel gasps at his words, and Finn eyes widen comically as he immediately backtracks, "Not that I'm going to propose or anything. I don't want to marry you…shit that sounds bad….I mean not right now…fuck…"

"Finn, its okay." Rachel says with a giggle, placing a hand on his chest, "I know what you meant. I'm touched that Kurt said that and went through all this trouble for us."

Finn grins, "It was pretty cool of him. You ready to go?"

Rachel nods, grabbing his hand and excitedly tugging him along to the entrance. Ever since being in the play, Rachel has been dying to see a real musical at work. While she's still not sure what it is she wants to do, she's excited to finally experience a real musical. She's thankful Kurt set this up because she wouldn't even know where to begin in choosing one of these things. And she more than confident that Kurt would choose something both she and Finn would like. She eagerly tugs on Finn's hand, smiling when the scanner chimes when taking their tickets. She feels like a little girl on Christmas morning.

They are in the fifth row, so close that Rachel could practically touch the stage. She's looking at the props in awe; she's never seen anything like this before. Finn, who was currently on his phone, grinned at her, "You should take pictures now. You can't once the show starts."

"Oh!" Rachel squeals realizing she was too mesmerized by everything in front of her to pull out her camera.

Finn just chuckles as he taking raising his phone and taking a picture of her, "You're too cute. Kurt says he got a show you won't know the songs for, that way you can't embarrass yourself when you sing along."

"Your brother's rudeness won't damper my mood. Tell him I said that." Rachel says with a huff, as she takes pictures of every inch of the stage, and then around the room and then of Finn texting.

"He says that he's not being rude, he's teaching you Broadway etiquette. And if he sent us to see Rock of Ages, we'd be the rude people singing louder than the cast and he'd be ashamed of us."

Rachel rolls her eyes, "What's Rock of Ages?"

Finn frowns when he types in the question and immediately gets a response, "Asshole."

"What?" Rachel asks curiously turning to face him, going to grab the phone to read it, but Finn answers before she has to.

"Rock of Ages is a musical with ONLY 80s and other rock band songs. Songs we BOTH love. He said if we saw that we'd just embarrass ourselves and he's doing us a favor. "

"Your bother is just rude." Rachel says with huff, but she looks at the stage again and bites her lip, "But this looks amazing too."

"You're going to love it." Finn promises, "I've seen it already with Kurt, of course. But trust me, you'll love it."

Rachel grins, touched that Finn would willingly come to see one of Kurt's musicals again, just so she could experience it. As the curtains draw, her heart starts to race in anticipation. A year ago she would have never expected to be sitting here, waiting to see a musical of all things. A year ago the idea of a musical to Rachel would have been a Disney cartoon come to life, something in Mary Poppins or the like. But now she's sitting here actually excited to experience this for the first time. She's sitting here actually contemplating if _this_ is what she wants to do with her life. It's almost surreal for her.

It's at the end of the first act, when Elphaba is being hoisted upwards and she begins to sing the last stanza of her song, when it hits Rachel. This is it. This is what she wants to do. She wants to stand in front of an audience and sing her heart out. 'Defying Gravity' is about her, it's about all the obstacles she placed in her life, obstacles that until now she refused to overcome. She's going to prove it to herself that she can do this. She can be whoever she wants to be. She will no longer be her greatest enemy. When the curtains close and everyone stands to clap, Finn and Rachel included, Rachel yanks Finn by the arm to her eye level. She ignores his startled expression and kisses him firmly on the lips. When she pulls back, she smiles at him brightly.

"This is it, Finn. This is what I want to do. I figured out my dream." She laughs, completely overcome with euphoria. She's never felt like this before, "I want to be on stage. One day, I'm going to be up there singing that song."

* * *

><p><strong>THE END<strong>


End file.
